He took a selfie of himself pouring a whole tube of them into his mouth, before sending it to his best mate, along with the letters LOL! The bestselling authors of We're Going on a Bar Hunt and The Very Hungover Caterpillar bring you another hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book, this time turning the spotlight not only on modern teens, but firmly on their parents too.When the doorbell rings, just as Sophie and her Dad are sitting down for their tea, they're half-expecting a visit from a tiger, but what slouches in through their doorway is even more curious than that... a teenager.A perfect read for anyone who remembers the original, or has ever been a teenager or is the parent of a teenager today.

    G. Wodehouse Biography NovelsThe Adventures of SallyThe Clicking of CuthbertA Damsel in DistressThe Coming of BillThe Gem CollectorThe Girl on the BoatThe Gold BatThe Head of Kay'sIndiscretions of ArchieThe Intrusion of JimmyJill the Reckless or The Little WarriorThe Little NuggetLove Among the Chickens Illustrated by Armand BothMike Illustrated by T. M. R. WhitwellMike and PsmithA Man of MeansMy Man JeevesNot George Washington. An Autobiographical NovelPiccadilly JimThe PothuntersA Prefect's UncleThe Prince and BettyPsmith in the CityPsmith, JournalistRight Ho, JeevesSomething NewThe Swoop! or How Clarence Saved EnglandTales of St. Austin'sThree Men and a MaidUneasy MoneyThe White FeatherWilliam Tell Told Again Illustrated by Philip Dadd Stories Collections Death At The ExcelsiorJeeves Takes Charge and Other Stories The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesThe Man With Two Left Feet And Other StoriesThe Politeness of Princes and Other School Stories StoriesAhead of Schedule Archibald's BenefitAt Geisenheimer's The Autograph Hunters The Best SauceBill the BloodhoundBlack for LuckBy Advice of Counsel Concealed Art A Corner in Lines Crowned Heads Death at the ExcelsiorDeep WatersDisentangling Old Duggie Extricating Young Gussie The Goal-Keeper and the Plutocrat The Good Angel The Guardian An International Affair In AlcalaJeeves and the Chump Cyril Jeeves in the Springtime Jeeves Takes Charge The Making of Mac's The Man, the Maid, and the Miasma The Man with Two Left FeetThe Man Upstairs The Man Who Disliked CatsThe Mixer Misunderstood One Touch of Nature Out of School Pillingshot, Detective The Politeness of Princes Pots O'Money The Romance of an Ugly Policeman Rough-Hew Them How We WillRuth in Exile A Sea of Troubles Shields' And the Cricket Cup Sir Agravaine a Tale of King Arthur's Round Table Something to Worry About The Test Case Tom, Dick, and Harry Three from Dunsterville The Tuppenny Millionaire When Doctors Disagree When Papa Swore in Hindustani Wilton's Holiday ArticlesSome Aspects of Game-Captaincy An Unfinished Collection The New AdvertisingThe Secret Pleasures of Reginald My Battle with Drink In Defense of AstigmatismPhotographers and Me A Plea for Indoor Golf The Alarming Spread of Poetry My Life As a Dramatic Critic The Agonies of Writing a Musical Comedy On the Writing of Lyrics The Past Theatrical Season PoemsDamon and Pythias The Haunted Tram

    The series continues to amuse, annoy, and totally ick out readers with this latest collection of just stupid stories.GASP as Andy careens downhill in a runaway baby carriage wearing only a diaper.... SQUIRM as he almost explodes searching for a bathroom in a shopping mall.... GROAN as he stuffs twenty marshmallows in his mouth-and then has to kiss the cutest girl in class...But most of all, LAUGH -- because Andy Griffiths is back with more JUST STUPID adventures!

    Hot on the heels of bestselling Gangsta Granny comes another hilarious, action-packed and touching novel - the story of a little girl called Zoe. Things are not looking good for Zoe. Her stepmother Sheila is so lazy she gets Zoe to pick her nose for her. The school bully Tina Trotts makes her life a misery - mainly by flobbing on her head. And now the evil Burt from Burt's Burgers is after her pet rat! And guess what he wants to do with it? The clue is in the title...From the author that is being called 'a new Roald Dahl', Ratburger is not to be missed!

    Then meet the grandmother who raised her. Foul-mouthed, outrageous, orange-haired Gina Pontin. Two women who couldn’t be more different. When Gina has an accident the two of them are forced together in the last place Stella wants to return to. But as the June temperature soars in more ways than one, they, and the residents of Mapton-on-Sea, are in for an explosive summer no one will ever forget. 'The Last Resort has laugh out loud moments, tenderness and real heartbreak. This is a story of family and friendships which, ultimately, is as warm as the golden sand we feel between our toes. Great stuff. ' LeftLion Magazine

    A city robbing and killing people since 50BC.The Vizz: an industry in crisis. Baxter Stone, a film maker and television veteran, a lifelong Londoner (who thinks he sees better than others) is having problems in the postbrain, crumbling capital. Swindled by an insurance company, he's in in debt; a Lamborghini is blocking his drive and MI6 is blocking his mobile reception. He hopes to turn it round and get the documentary series that will get him the Big Money. But what do you do if history is your sworn enemy and the whole world conspires against you? Is there any way, you could, for a moment, rule the world justly?Darkly comic, How to Rule The World follows Baxter's battle for truth, justice and classy colour grading as it takes him from the pass of Thermopylae, to the peacocking serial killers of Medieval France, and the war in Syria. A trip from the Garden of Eden to Armageddon, plus reggae.Demonstrating Fischer's inimitable talent for eviscerating social satire, How to the Rule the World is a magnificently funny read to stand alongside his best loved works, the Man Booker shortlisted Under the Frog, The Thought Gang and Don't Read This Book If You're Stupid, all of which Corsair will publish in e-book next year.

    Modelled on those catalogues that spill unwanted from your weekend newspapers, this is a celebration of triumphantly useless and inappropriate consumer choices. Illustrated throughout in the shape and style of catalogues that offer you the chance to buy machines that stamp your initials onto golf balls or allow you to warm you slippers electronically before putting them on. An array of toys, gadgets, and handy-helps, it's a modern vision of a consumer paradise gone very weird indeed.

    What Dave Barry did for American history in Dave Barry Slept Here and for getting older in Dave Barry Turns Forty, he does for everything else in America! Tupperware ladies, eighties people and leisure-concept salesmen beware: Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe!

    Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!Among the many nuggets of fun:* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

    In the middle, meanwhile, are The Great Switcheroo and The Last Act, two stories exploring a darker side of desire and pleasure.In the black comedies of Switch Bitch Roald Dahl brilliantly captures the ins and outs, highs and lows of sex.'Dahl is too good a storyteller to become predictable' Daily TelegraphRoald Dahl, the brilliant and worldwide acclaimed author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, Matilda, and many more classics for children, also wrote scores of short stories for adults. These delightfully disturbing tales have often been filmed and were most recently the inspiration for the West End play, Roald Dahl's Twisted Tales by Jeremy Dyson. Roald Dahl's stories continue to make readers shiver today.

    The first avocado pears are appearing at the greengrocer's, people are thinking about carpeting their lavatories and boxing in their banisters, and Ronnie Glover, housepainter, husband and father, is feeling the first vague stirrings of discontent with his life. Then, out of the blue, the fabulous, sophisticated (and married) Jacqueline bursts into his life and teaches him to tango. She seems to offer everything he ever dreamt of. But is it all too good to he true?

    Original.

    She's rolled up from the backwoods of Canada, eager for a new life brimming with adventure. But boarding school isn't the fantasy that Nancy had imagined. It is an austere, loveless world where budding relationships are soon put to the test. Nancy wins friends and finds solace by telling stories, but still feels horribly alone inside. And when she leads her dorm in a special fund-raising event that goes tragically wrong, things go from bad to worse. Nancy longs to meet the glamorous brother of her friend, Caroline, and as her troubles build it's an encounter that can't come soon enough—until a shocking revelation comes to light.

    

    Yes, this task is outside Eunice Howard's usual realm of responsibilities, but he's willing to make it worth her time. Plus, she's ideal for the role. Who better to play his pretend lover than the one woman who knows him almost better than he knows himself? The last thing Eunice Howard expects when summoned to her boss's office is a request to play the role of his new love interest to appease his mother, restless to marry him off. Foolishly agreeing, she ventures with him to Farrington Estates for the Thanksgiving holiday. She thought she'd seen all sides of Blake Farrington, but the man who emerges is a man she could easily love. Their agreement blossoms into a connection neither expected-nor are willing to admit. When the lines between make-believe and reality blur, something phenomenal occurs.