Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    Naomi Evans, the ordinary kindergarten teacher, a devoted mother of two and wife to her loving husband, Tyree, never would have imagined falling for a fine ass street king.Naomi and Tyree have been together since their freshman year in college and he is all that she knows. Three years of marriage to the love of her life seemed perfect… At first. She made the money, he stayed at home with the kids. To many it seems that they are living the New American Dream and to Naomi there is no greater feeling than being with her family.However, that all suddenly changes once she meets a sexy thug named Marquise who desires Naomi from the very moment he lays eyes on her. With just the flash of that million-dollar smile, his cocky attitude and irresistible lips, Naomi becomes intoxicated in Marquise and lets him seduce her on the very first night of their meeting. Ashamed and guilty for stepping out on her husband, Naomi tries her best to forget her encounter with Marquise, but as life continues to throw him in her path, she finds him harder and harder to resist. Marquise suddenly opens Naomi’s eyes to a world of pure ecstasy that she never knew existed, as he pushes her beyond her limits. Limits that Tyree could never dare to reach. Naomi is now torn between the only life that she’s ever known and the life that she has now become so addicted to. And to make matters worse, she begins to drift away from her family in order to get her daily fix with her new addiction. But that isn’t even the best part… Her new addiction has no idea about his competition waiting for Naomi to come home every night. So how will he react to finding out that Naomi Evans isn’t the sweet, single, innocent but freaky girl she made herself out to be?Only time will tell…

    Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Still Life With Woodpecker, Villa Incognito, Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates, Jitterbug Perfume, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, Skinny Legs and All, Another Roadside Attraction, Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Still Life With Woodpecker (1980) is the third novel by Tom Robbins, concerning the love affair between an environmentalist princess and an outlaw. As with most of Robbins' books, it encompasses a broad range of topics, from aliens and redheads to consumerism, the building of bombs, romance, royalty, the moon, and a pack of Camels. The novel continuously addresses the question of how to make love stay. The story is sometimes called a post-modern fairy tale. The book begins in "the final quarter of the twentieth century," at a year never specified, presumably in the early 1980s. It revolves around a family of deposed European royalty living in a small house in the suburbs outside of Seattle, under the protection of the CIA. They consist of: the father, King Max, a former gambler and poker player whose prosthetic heart valve makes a loud scraping noise when he gets excited; the mother, Queen Tilli, an opera-lover with a strong foreign accent and a fondness for saying "Oh, oh, spaghetti-o"; Gulietta, the non-English-speaking maid (and, as it turns out, Max's half-sister) and the daughter, Leigh-Cheri, a redheaded vegetarian liberal princess and former cheerleader, having pulled out of classes after being asked to resign from the cheer squad after having a miscarriage while cheering at a football game. Leigh-Cheri proclaims herself celibate, withdraws from public life and cloisters herself in her room, only to emerge to ask her parents for permission to go to the Care Fest, a lib...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=217300

    It spans three centuries and five countries as it tells the story of a violin and its many owners. The film was an international co-production between companies in Canada, Italy and the United Kingdom. The film tells the story of a perfect violin known as "the Red Violin" for its rich red colour. At the film's beginning, the violin is being auctioned in Canada. As the bidding starts, the violin's history is revealed, showing that the violin has been in existence for over 300 years, having been made in 1681. Its history is told in five stories set in different locations around the world-Cremona, Vienna, Oxford, Shanghai, and Montreal. These stories are told in chronological order except for the Cremona and Montreal stories, which are intersected into the others with each change of location and as the tarot reading and the auction develop.

    His self esteem and drive abandoning him as he felt the Navy had. Travelling to Glasgow on family business, he intervenes to help a woman; Marieke and her small child who he thinks are being mugged. He is unwittingly dragged into their nightmare, being hunted down by ruthless villains led by Nick Parson, a bent London copper, who will stop at nothing to silence her and recapture the evidence she holds against him.To keep them safe, Matt brings her home to Uist, thinking no one will find them in the peaceful hills of the remote community. But he underestimates Parson, who follows them home like an unrelenting Hebridean Storm. They hide, but even here, nowhere is safe. Matt seeks help from friends and family, but will it be enough to escape with their lives and to protect the safety of those they love?

    Yet when they returned to school in the fall, Braxton made a decision that drove Tiffany to transfer schools and never look back.Now, nearly a decade later, they meet again as business experts vying for the same contract at a prestigious school. In addition to their professional competition, tensions mount as Braxton and Tiffany discover that they have two different versions of what happened to their romance so long ago. Can they overcome hard feelings and pick up where they left off? Tiffany’s father passed away a few months ago, just as she was founding her new project management firm. She wonders if her leap of faith was a good move, and her doubts only increase when she learns that someone from the firm she left is trying to undermine her independent efforts…not to mention her possibilities with Braxton.Braxton thought he might follow his father’s footsteps into ministry. His wild fraternity days caught up with him, however, causing Braxton to give up the idea of teaching anyone to follow the faith he so obviously neglected. Can he win back his own self-respect and the heart of the woman he never forgot?Stuck On You is the first book in The Stoneworth Series by bestselling Christian Fiction author Michelle Stimpson. The family history is briefly established, and then readers are off to experience the Stoneworth family's rich legacy of faith and integrity within the context of contemporary romance. Come fall in love with the family!

    As Anna Mae grows up, she finds herself subject to blackouts, and she’s not sure why. Her psychiatrist thinks she might have traumatic amnesia, but all the diagnosis does is complicate her already troubled life, affecting her relationships involving family, friends, and love. At first she tries to deal with it, but she soon discovers that she will have to overcome it once and for all. For she can’t remember the crucial information she witnessed during a recent blackout. And her life depends on it.

    That child is the passionate and free-spirited Flora, daughter of Marion. Flora’s early years are spent roaming around her father’s cattle farm, running wild and free with her brother and his friends. From early on she adores fair Neil MacEachen. But when her father dies suddenly, Flora and her mother are plunged into poverty and it seems beautiful Flora is destined to skivvy in the kitchen and dairy for her harsh aunt. Until one night dashing soldier, One-eyed Hugh, her mother’s former lover, kidnaps mother and daughter and takes them to Skye where he swiftly marries Marion.Back on the Outer Isles they settle into family life and Flora is taken under the wing of the lively Lady Clan, the chief’s wife, who teaches her the skills of a noblewoman. Flora still dreams of the day she might marry the handsome Neil, who has by now disappeared to France. But when the Clanranalds are invited to the grand wedding of the MacDonald chief of Sleat in Skye, Flora finds herself irresistibly drawn to dark-haired, teasing and passionate Allan of Kingsburgh, one of the mighty Skye MacDonalds, who makes no secret of his desire for her. Her heart is torn; she loves the mysterious and increasingly elusive Neil but struggles to control her attraction to Allan, who is meanwhile being groomed for a prestigious match with the chief of MacLeod’s daughter.Before affairs of the heart can be resolved, the exiled Prince Charles Stuart lands on the Outer Isles in his bid to win back the crown and his arrival ignites the Jacobite Rising of 1745. Scotland is plunged into bloody civil war; families and clans are torn apart in their loyalties and Flora’s fate is changed forever. She faces the biggest decision of her life – whether or not to help the now fugitive Prince to escape the islands and certain execution – knowing that to do so will not only put her own life in danger, but those of the people she loves most in the world.Deeply emotional and uplifting, The Jacobite Lass is set in the turbulent times of 18th century Scotland and is based on the true story of Scottish heroine, Flora MacDonald and Bonnie Prince Charlie.

    Struggling to make sense of her grief, it becomes evident that a complete change and a positive focus is the only thing which will help her to carry on with life. Training as a therapeutic counsellor provides this focus, bringing her into contact with people who desperately need her help. Julie and her children are living in fear of an abusive husband, Janet is crumbling under the weight of a secret she has kept for over forty years, and Karen has never recovered from her mother’s violent death. Maggie is drawn into her client’s problems as she seeks to empower them to move on with their lives. And then she is faced with her own ethical dilemma when she meets Peter...

    Want to remember what it was like to be young and angry? Buy this book. A great read.’ - Phil Davis (Actor Chalky in Quadrophenia)‘Written in first person narrative, in a style and delivery reminiscent of Hunter S Thompson.’ - Scootering Magazine‘It’s a good book and an easy read. That’s pretty much what most pulp fiction needs to be.’ - Mod Culture‘A coming of age story, ‘A Crafty Cigarette’ maybe Matteo Sedazzari’s debut novel but it’s an impressive story.’ - Vive Le Rock‘Like a good Paul Weller concert the novel leaves you wanting more. I’ll be very interested in reading whatever Matteo Sedazzari writes next.’ - Louder Than WarA Crafty Cigarette is the powerful story of a teenager coming of age in the 70s as seen through his eyes, who on the cusp of adulthood, discovers a band that is new to him, which leads him into becoming a Mod. A mischievous youth prone to naughtiness, he takes to mod like a moth to a flame, which in turn gives him a voice, confidence and a fresh new outlook towards life, his family, his school friends, girls and the world in general. Growing up in Sunbury –on-Thames where he finds life rather dull and hard to make friends, he moves across the river with his family to Walton –on –Thames in 1979, the year of the Mod Revival, where to his delight he finds many other Mods his age and older, and slowly but surely he starts to become accepted....

    1780–1833) was an American fur trapper and frontiersman noted for his exploits in the American West during the first third of the 19th century. Glass was born in Pennsylvania, to Irish parents. He was an explorer of the watershed of the Upper Missouri River in present day North Dakota, South Dakota and Montana. Glass was famed, most of all, as a frontier folk hero for his legendary cross-country trek after being mauled by a grizzly bear. Glass' most famous adventure began in 1822, when he responded to an advertisement in the Missouri Gazette and Public Adviser, placed by General William Ashley, which called for a corps of 100 men to "ascend the river Missouri" as part of a fur trading venture. These men would later be known as Ashley's Hundred. Besides Glass, others who joined the enterprise included notables such as James Beckwourth, Thomas Fitzpatrick, David Jackson, John Fitzgerald, William Sublette, Jim Bridger, and Jedediah Smith. Early in the trek, Glass established himself as a hard-working fur trapper. He was apparently wounded on this trip in a battle with Arikara, and later traveled with a party of 13 men to relieve traders at Fort Henry, at the mouth of the Yellowstone River. The expedition, led by Andrew Henry, planned to proceed from the Missouri, up the valley of the Grand River in present-day South Dakota, then across to the valley of the Yellowstone. The sketch in this book is related by the explorer and Army officer Philip St. George Cooke. This book originally published by Lindsay & Blakiston in 1857 has been reformatted for the Kindle and may contain an occasional defect from the original publication or from the reformatting.

    You're often treated like a living blow-up doll and a therapist simultaneously. It's a life that many judge easily ... until you know more. Sita Kaylin, a California-based veteran in the sex industry, has lived the pitfalls of being naked in front of strangers and the absurdities that arise when you fake intimacy for a living. She left home when she was sixteen, worked hard at several jobs and eventually started college after dropping out of high school. There, a roommate turned her on to stripping, revealing a way out of the crushing financial pressures she felt and her struggles as a pre-law student with very little time or energy to study. She had no idea how wild her journey would become and what a large part of her life it would be. Sita's stories take shape through an often altered, occasionally sarcastic, sometimes illegal and frequently funny magnifying glass she holds up to not just the sex industry, but also to human needs and desires, modern relationships, mental health, personal independence. Anything But a Wasted Life is the memoir of an unorthodox life about a woman who has rarely said 'no' to life.

    This enjoyable read handles with heart and a light touch such issues as marriage, family, home ownership, illness, and death.

    forever.Before you walked into my life, all I did was survive...you made me rediscover what it means to be alive.HICCUPS is a tender love story that leaves you with a happy feeling. The story revolves around the life of the protagonist, how he struggles through life as a student taking care of his mother; paying for his engineering expenses with scholarships and awards. Enclosed in a wall of priorities doing well in his studies was paramount to him.What transpires when he meets a beautiful, witty and intelligent girl with a penchant for the good things in life? Destiny brings the two of them together under the unlikeliest of circumstances. What follows is a fascinating journey that will change their lives forever.

    She was determined to find a better life for herself, away from the oppression and isolation of her Satmar upbringing in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. And in Exodus, Revisited she delves into what happened next--taking the reader on a journey that starts with her beginning life anew as a single mother, a religious refugee, and an independent woman in search of a place and a community where she can belong. Originally published in 2014, Deborah has now revisited and significantly expanded her story, and the result is greater insight into her quest to discover herself and the true meaning of home. Travels that start with making her way in New York expand into an exploration of America and eventually lead to trips across Europe to retrace her grandmother's life during the Holocaust, before she finds a landing place in the unlikeliest of cities. Exodus, Revisited is a deeply moving examination of the nature of memory and generational trauma, and of reconciliation with both yourself and the world.