Her friend called with a job offer too curious to refuse: a cruisey-gig as a dementia carer for a rich old man in Kenya. All expenses-paid, plenty of free time to travel or do some freelance reporting. There seemed no good reason to say no... so she got on a plane.Only Kirsten's friend hadn't given her the full story. It was only on arrival in Nairobi that she discovered the rich old man's family was fighting a war around him, and that she would be on the frontline. Caught in the crossfire of all kinds of wild accusations, she also had to spy on his wife, keep his daughter placated, rebuff his marriage proposals, hide the car keys and clip his toenails all while trying to retain her own sanity in the colonial time warp of his home.Meanwhile, the Kenyan army was invading Somalia, Al-Shabaab was threatening terror attacks, the East African bodybuilding scene beckoned, and Kirsten discovered she had long-lost cousins running a bar on the other side of the city.I Built No Schools in Kenya is a travelogue-tragedy-farce about race, wealth, love, death, family, nationhood, sanity, benzodiazepines, monkeys and whisky.It is almost entirely true.

     From travel sickness in the back of an ambulance to chasing 87-year-old patients down the corridors of care homes, from borderline assault to ulcers big enough to fit your fist into, Confessions of a Community Nurse follows the experiences of Lucy and her transition from timid student to a healthcare professional in the NHS. After a shaky start to her career, Lucy has now encountered every bodily fluid going, smelled things no-one should ever have to smell, and resisted the urge to bang her head against a wall more times than she can count. Between fond attachments to patients and wanting to hand them the nails for their own coffins, Lucy has flourished in the healthcare profession, not being afraid to speak up for her patients but also not being afraid to speak up for herself. Offering a completely truthful insight into being a 'baby nurse', it is funny and honest, but also emotional and humbling. Written as a memoir, it may just change the way you think about district nursing and open the mind to understanding the frustrations, and passions, of healthcare staff and patients alike.