If you loved The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, then you should get your hands on this book now! Phil is private investigator; he's got a computer and a comfy chair, and he knows how to use them. He doesn't get all sweaty chasing the bad guys; not when his fingers can do the work as he sips his coffee and looks forward to a nice cool pint. He doesn't wrestle them to the ground, with a quick quip and a steely gaze; not when he can sit in his comfy chair and dream about the girl behind the bar; the one with the breasts. Then he meets the ex-wife of a missing crime lord, and everything changes. Suddenly he's squirting to distant planets, finding dead bodies, dancing with aliens, saving a world from the clutches of the cutest of aliens and, for one brief moment, he becomes the richest man in the universe. In a tale of treachery, danger, poor customer service and bad jokes, Phil is forced to put aside his relaxed 'let someone else do the work' attitude, and take up arms against the might of an alien empire (well, it's a crow bar actually, and the alien is a little girl; a very tough little girl) and somehow find a way to save the day, and Earth's most valuable commodity, and maybe even his dignity. But where does this story really start? Of course, for Phil, it’s when he first meets the ex-wife of the missing crime lord; it’s typical of him to think it all started with him. For Ben, it would be the misplaced bullet; for Millie, it was, of course, the Joke, and for Sam; well your guess is as good as mine. In reality, it started much earlier; nine years earlier, with the robbery... A laugh a minute science fiction comedy thriller, destined to be one of the decade’s Science Fiction Bestsellers, and it’s also a unique First Contact Novel. If you like your SF books with alien worlds, strangely named AI’s, really bad jokes and a Narrative Facilitator who would really rather be doing something else, then maybe you should add this to your Science Fiction and Fantasy library of Kindle books. Revised September 2015 for greater clarity and added silliness You can find other Comedy Novels & Comedy Thrillers by searching the following categories: Science Fiction Comedy First Contact Comedy thriller Comedy Mystery Books for Kindle Science Fiction Books for Adults Science Fiction and Fantasy Series Comedy Novels

    A scheming bastard in and out of school, Diller screws, drinks, snorts, cons and kills his way through the Lanarkshire underworld and attempts to survive the attention of his local drug-lord, Hondo, who's less than impressed by Diller's growing debt and status; He's also having a busy week at school.A brutal and wickedly funny novella inspired by The Prodigy's 'Smack my Bitch Up' music video.Contains strong language and graphic violence throughout.

    His music could have made Damien Cantwell the star of his generation.But living fast has its consequences, and Damien soon finds himself spiraling into a dark world full of unfettered debauchery and brutal violence.The horrors of drug addiction are painted in sharp, biting prose in this novel about throwing away everything and finding that some things are too precious to lose

    Coronado Prep student Maria Ochoa, 16, is near death after crashing her car on an isolated stretch of New Mexico Highway 14 during a blizzard. When the only person to show up to help her is a teen gangbanger named Demetrio Vigil, Maria fears she’s doomed, until the young man manages, miraculously, to heal her nearly fatal wounds with nothing but the warm energy radiating from his hands. Maria is grateful for the help, and seeks to thank Demetrio by returning to the tiny ghost town of Golden, where he said he lives, to find him and give him a gift. What she discovers out about Demetrio along the way, however, not only defies logic and belief, but puts Maria’s very life in terrible danger.

    Exotic, strange and exciting, especially to young English sculptor Jessie Lipscomb, who joins her friend Camille to become a protégée of the great Auguste Rodin. Jessie and Camille enjoy a passionate friendship and explore the demi-monde of the vibrant city, meeting artists such as Toulouse-Lautrec and the boldly unconventional Rosa Bonheur. But when Rodin and Camille embark on a scandalous affair, Jessie is cast as their unwilling go-between and their friendship unravels. Years later she tracks her down to an insane asylum where Camille tells her an explosive secret. Can their friendship survive the betrayal?

     Moments later, a Paris-bound train with Sylvia's ten-year old daughter and fiance aboard departs the station without Sylvia. Sylvia is seized at gunpoint, thrown into the back of a van, blindfolded, beaten, and driven to a warehouse where she is imprisoned in a cell. When the terrorists discover Sylvia's father is a wealthy Wall Street investment banker, they demand a ransom for her safe release.

    

    Unfortunately for the scumbag who killed him, Novak will keep on cracking skulls and breaking bones until he finds the piece of trash that set him up, or is turned into a walking sack of rotten meat. With Undead On Arrival, Justin Robinson gives us a hard boiled zombie tale, and one of the most brutally compellingly examinations of the living dead you’ll ever read.No Cure. No Hope. No Mercy.

    Fresh from a career-killing scandal, New York fashion girl, Maya Kirkwood, arrives in San Francisco to reinvent herself as a fine artist. She's offered the opportunity to create an installation at the Silicon Valley headquarters of a hot new tech company. Fabulous, right? Not so much. She can't stand Derek Whitley - wunderkind software genius and CEO of the company. Hot as he may be on the outside, inside the man is a cold, unemotional, robotic type. Way too left-brained for her right-brained self. As Maya and Derek get to know each other, however, their facades begin to crack. She catches her first glimpse of the man behind the superhuman tech prodigy, and he starts to see her as the woman she used to be. But is this a good thing? Once that last secret is revealed, will it bring them closer together or will it tear them apart?

    What shapes will you find in the splintered glass?Sinister forces roam London’s streets, skulking through the neon-lit rain. They are not alone. Haunted by memories of the man who abandoned her, Amber goes walking in the deep night. The phone box she enters takes her on a journey she could never have imagined, one in which the past and the future will be rewritten. Others follow in her footsteps, their lives intertwining, and the fate of the world hanging on their dance. Safran, pawn of unfathomable powers. Jon, who has lived and died and lived again. Gloria, who only intended to annoy her daddy. Cory, from a different world, on a desperate quest for allies. They and others will find themselves swept up as the playthings of gods who have managed to get along peacefully for millennia — until now.Red Phone Box is a darkly magical story cycle, a network of interweaving tales by a dazzling range of masterful authors, including Gun Machine’s Warren Ellis. Let them take you to a very different London — one that hides on the other side of the fractured glass.Red Phone Box is waiting for you…

    The boost of vitamins, nutrients, minerals & antioxidants will start restoring you to your natural balance by cleansing & detoxing with the result being that you feel happier & more energetic than you've felt in a long time!As well as feeling amazing & so full of energy, you'll very soon notice the weight dropping off & your skin looking incredibly radiant.Furthermore, you'll find your that blood pressure & cholesterol levels will drop to optimum healthy levels. Your organ health, metabolism & immune system will all get that boost that you so much desire. It goes without saying that you'll have a longer, happier & healthy life.All of these benefits (& so much more) in the time it takes to throw a few ingredients into a big cup & with a quick & simple press of a button!Nutribullet smoothies are powerful because they extract every last drop of goodness that your raw & natural produce have to offer. You'll be shocked when you realise how much nutritional value you throw away by taking off the skin, stem & seeds from fruit & veg.Incidently, this is a great way to get your kids to have their fruit and vegetables with all of the vitamins, minerals & nutrients they need in a very quick & delicious way. They may even enjoy making the smoothies themselves!Nutribullet Recipe Book concentrates on seven main areas of smoothie recipes:- Healthy Heart- Detoxification- Weight Loss- Radiant Skin- Energy Boost- Anti-Aging- Super FoodsThe Nutribullet recipes include:- Chia Seed Rainforest Smoothie- Berry Breakfast Smoothie- Flat Belly Smoothie- Smoothie for Radiant Skin- Shamrock Smoothie- Antioxidant Anti-Aging Smoothie- Raw Mint Chocolate Smoothie- Bananarama SmoothieTake a step towards a longer, healthier & happier life. A life with more energy, more time & less weight. Your new radiance &that confidence awaits you. You won't regret buying the Nutribullet Recipe Book!

    Is it a forced landing, or the beginning of an invasion - a technological treasure trove, or an extraterrestrial pandora’s box that spells disaster for life on Earth?Infiltrating the vast tropical wilderness of northern Australia, Beckman’s team encounter strange machines, alien structures and a handful of human survivors struggling to evade capture. When Beckman’s team penetrates to the heart of the Mothership, they discover an answer they never expected and a universe far larger than they had ever imagined.

    He has a successful marriage to Jessie, a stunningly beautiful, creative woman. His seventeen-year-old daughter, Ashley, is both gorgeous and intelligent, and has just been accepted to the University of Notre Dame, where Scott received his PhD. He has a comforting home in the woods, and a fulfilling career as a college professor at Oregon State University in Corvallis. He’s blissful, and at peace, until it all comes shattering down. Ashley is kidnapped. The scene of the abduction is horrific and bloody, and the police are convinced she couldn’t have survived. They accuse her boyfriend, Brandon, of Ashley’s murder. He declares his innocence, and claims that a masked man who entered his house and overwhelmed them both took Ashley. No one believes Brandon. Then the bodies of three other missing girls are discovered, all bearing the mark of a known serial killer the FBI has been hunting for years. Evidence mounts. As Special Agent James Duncan tracks the Hail Mary Killer, Scott and Jessie try to move on with their lives. But they can’t shake the feeling that Ashley may still be alive, and that the time for saving their only daughter is quickly running out. In the best tradition of literature and suspense, Jackson Paul Baer has weaved a heartfelt tale of one family’s struggle to survive after a despicable evil wrenches them apart.

    With the companionship of a lone wolf, Alex begins to accept this cruel existence, struggling at times to keep a moral compass, and setting out on a new quest of hope where he not only wants to survive, but also seeks to thrive in a world besieged by the living dead.

    Twelve-year-old David Karmi, a master of the art, is about to be put to the ultimate test.War has consumed the world and David finds himself in the middle of a human slaughter on a planetary scale. Whole towns are vaporized. Cities obliterated in firestorms. More than fifty million people will die—twelve million either gassed, shot, hanged, worked to death or subjected to biological experiments. And now David’s luck has finally run out. Having already endured one horrifying deportation, he and his family are rounded up for the second time and forced onto a train that will bring them all to the very heart of the Nazi extermination machine.Separated from his parents and siblings, the teenager is hurled into a nightmare of death camps, forced marches, sickness, violence and depravity. On his own, through the torturous months that follow, David endures Auschwitz, Dachau, and the Warsaw ghetto. Though he’s just a kid, David will try to stay alive by his wits and instincts, taking terrifying chances, making split-second decisions, and learning the tricks and techniques of survival. But time is running out. His only hope is that the Nazis will be defeated and the American soldiers will free him—and his family—before it’s too late. “[Karmi’s debut forgoes] the despair employed by Primo Levi and Elie Wiesel, instead echoing the optimism of Anne Frank…Eminently readable and largely remarkable.”—Kirkus Reviews"‘Some people have a knack for survival, for getting out of jams.’ Karmi is one of those, and he faces the ultimate test as a young teen in Nazi-occupied Europe as he and his family are deported to Auschwitz."—Publishers Weekly"Survivor’s Game reads not so much like a memoir but a novel, replete with tension, drama, and twists and turns. Recommended."—Midwest Book Review"This is a story we all need to know…the cost of forgetting is too high."—New York Times best-selling author Maya Kaathryn Bohnhoff