With hundreds of new examples pulled from everyday life, Junk English 2 shows how our language has become so pliable and flabby that the more we read and hear, the less we know.

    Because even though it sounds like you're calling your friend a weirdo, this book is in fact a wonderfully astute and affectionate look at the female psyche, and perfect for any girl with a sense of humor (and a desire to know what boys think of girls). With his unique Homer-Simpson-channeled-through-Jessica-Simpson sensibility, Todd Harris Goldman—that Todd Harris Goldman, the funny, crude, un-PC, very savvy author of Boys Are Stupid, Throw Rocks at Them!—explains why boys think the opposite sex is weird. Narrated by a boy who's sort of a moron, it questions all the things that are completely alien to boys, but with a surprisingly sweet insight and great good spirit. Waxing vs. shaving. The color pink. Shoe obsessions. The everyday dilemma: "Does this dress make me look fat?" The appeal of tiny little dogs. Fake boobs. The mysteries of PMS. In the end he can only conclude that girls are weirdos and leave it at that—a conclusion that girls will not only understand but own up to proudly.

    Qù tama, zánmen chuqù feng ba. •Who farted? Shéi fàng de pì?•Wanna try doggy-style? Yàobù zánliar shìshì gou cào shì?•Son of a bitch!Gouniángyang de!•I’m getting smashed. Wo ganjué heduo le.•I can’t eat this shit! Wo chi bù xià qù!