The Hell I Carry: An Autobiography


Lucas Derion - 2019
    We are then forced to re-live the moments we have spent decades burying beneath amicable smiles and a false sense of security. This is my story; one shrouded in as much truth as my mind can tolerate. My story may mean nothing to you, but I believe, that if these words were to fall into the right hands, then they could have the potential to change someone’s life, someone’s mind. At a young age I learned what it meant to carry the scorching secrets of a fiery hell. For years I allowed the flames to consume my mind as I proceeded to live a life devoted to destruction and chaos. I blamed my mother. I blamed the men that raped me. I blamed the woman that refused to love me back. But when the smoke cleared, the mirror on the wall only painted a single reflection, that of myself. So, when the big bad wolf no longer blows, yet the house still falls, who will I have to blame then? Only me.

The Source of All Things: A Memoir


Tracy Ross - 2011
    So when her mother married Donnie, a gregarious man with an all-wheel-drive jeep and a love of hiking, four-year-old Tracy was ecstatic to have a father figure in her life. A loving and devoted step-father, Donnie introduced Tracy’s family to the joys of fishing, deer hunting, camping, and hiking among the most pristine mountains of rural Idaho. Donnie was everything Tracy dreamed a dad would be—protective, brave, and kind. But when his dependence on his eight-year-old daughter’s companionship went too far, everything changed. Once Donnie’s nighttime visits began, Tracy’s childhood became a confusing blend of normal little girl moments and the sickening, secret invasion of her safety. Tormented by this profound betrayal, Tracy struggled to reconcile deeply conflicting feelings about her stepfather: on the one hand, fear and loathing, on the other hand, the love any daughter would have for her father. It was not until she ran away from home as a teenager that her family was forced to confront the abuse—and it tore them apart. At sixteen, realizing that she must take control of her own future, Tracy sent herself to boarding school and began the long slow process of recovery. There, in the woods of Northern Michigan, Tracy felt called back to the natural world she had loved as a child. Over the next twenty years, the mountains and rivers of North America provided Tracy with strength, confidence, comfort, and inspiration. From trekking through the glaciers of Alaska to guiding teenagers through the deserts of Utah, Tracy pushed herself to the physical limit on her way to becoming whole again. Yet, as she came into her own, found love, and even started a family, Tracy realized that in order to truly heal she had to confront her stepfather about the demons from the past haunting them both. The Source of All Things is a stunning, unforgettable story about a wounded daughter, her stepfather, and a mistake that has taken thirty years and thousands of miles of raw wilderness to reconcile. Only Tracy can know if Donnie is forgivable. But one thing is for certain: In no other story of abuse does a survivor have as much strength, compassion, bravery, and spirit as Tracy displays in The Source of All Things

Leaving My Amish World: My True Story


Eirene Eicher - 2019
    Shunned. Heartbroken. This is Eirene's true story of how she left the Amish. Like most Amish children, Eirene had a carefree childhood in a tight-knit family life in the Old Order Amish community where she grew up Indiana. Though she had no indoor plumbing, no electricity, and no modern conveniences, her young life was full of joy. Horseback riding, reading, working with her father, and singing while making noodles and quilts with her sisters filled her days as she grew up. When Eirene becomes pregnant and marries at the tender age of 17, the harsh reality of her new life sets in. From getting snowed in by 10 feet of snow to carrying icy buckets of water inside just to make coffee or wash dishes, Eirene remains steadfast in providing the best care she can for her son. As she has four more children, her world revolves around them, and they bring her more joy than she could have ever imagined. Though she loves being a mother, and she loves her family, Eirene knows there has to be more to life than just being a housewife confined to her home with no money, no phone, and no transportation. Doesn’t God have a bigger purpose for her? Wasn’t she meant for more? When Eirene makes a Christian friend, she is hungry to learn more about the loving God who died for her and rose again, a God so unlike the one she’d learned about growing up Amish. Eirene knows God is calling her to leave so she can serve God. But is she willing to leave her family, her community, and everything she's ever known behind? Eirene prays that her story will be in encouragement to a struggling young mother out there wondering if life will ever change or get better. Please follow Eirene on Amazon to be notified of her new releases in the future. * “This book was so enthralling, I stayed up late into the night to find out what would happen next. Never before has a book taken me through such a roller coaster ride of emotions: suspense, anguish, sorrow, indignation, and joy. This woman’s story touched my heart, and when she was hurt in the story, it was written so beautifully that I could feel her pain. Her story was so incredible, how she could still have such unwavering faith after everything that happened to her. So many things in this story were absolutely shocking and absolutely heart-wrenching, but there were also so many joyful parts that spoke of the cheerful memories of the author’s childhood, and the close-knit Amish community. I am a true admirer of the Amish, but all Amish communities are different. We sometimes put the Amish on a pedestal, but they are human too, and also make mistakes just like us. This story was heartbreaking and raw, but most of all, it truly was inspirational. Once you start, you won’t be able to put it down.” -Ashley Emma, bestselling author of Undercover Amish, Amish Under Fire, and more Paperback version coming soon!

Nobody Will Believe You: A Story of Unbreakable Courage


Mary Manning - 2015
    I was completely isolated. He made sure of that.’ Mary was ten years old when she first met her stepfather, Sean McDarby. From the very beginning he seemed to pay her special attention; his praise and compliments quickly won her trust. Then he started touching her in ways she didn’t like. When she was twelve, he raped her. The next twenty years were filled with harrowing abuse as McDarby continued to rape Mary, leading to the birth of five of her children. Finally, after years of abuse – years when justice was denied at every turn – Mary found the strength and courage to break free. Against the odds she created a safe place for her children and reclaimed her life. This is Mary’s inspirational story of courage and survival.

Dance for your Daddy: The True Story of a Brutal East End Childhood


Katherine Shellduck - 2005
    I had been looking for sweets. I put my hand in the bag and felt a sticky liquid on my fingers, then I looked at it. A red smear. Then I looked in the bag: bloody knives and clothes. It didn't feel good. What did it mean? I don't know. There are no answers; I daren't ask the questions'Growing up in poverty in London's East End, Kathy was eight years old when her father forced her mother into prostitution. When their mother fled, leaving Kathy and her sisters behind, the girls stuck fiercely together while being passed from children's homes to boarding schools. Then, on a rare trip home, Kathy looked out the window to see a man firing four shots into a Rolls-Royce. It took several seconds for her to realise the victim was her mother's lover, and the gunman was her father.Kathy began her haunting memoir when, as an adult, she travelled back to London, to find out who her gangster father really was. A compelling memoir of an extraordinary childhood, Dance for your Daddy is a true story of the effects on one family of poverty and affluence, violence and love.

Break Shot: My First 21 Years


James Taylor - 2020
    Through decades of music by one of the best-selling musicians of all time, who created classics like "Fire and Rain" and "Carolina in My Mind," James Taylor has doled out his history in the poetry of his work. Taylor says his early life is, "the source of many of my songs," and Break Shot is a tour of his first 21 years in rich, new detail. Praised by Forbes magazine as going "beyond the spoken word," Break Shot combines storytelling, music and performance to create a one-of-a-kind listening experience. Longtime fans will savor a crop of musical gems, including an unreleased recording of the beloved hymn "Jerusalem," selections from his newest release American Standard, as well as new original scoring by Taylor specially recorded for Break Shot and more from the Grammy Award-winning artist.Recorded in his home studio, TheBarn in western Massachusetts, Taylor tells the deeply personal story of his youth, which is entwined with the story of his family. What started as an idyllic tight unit soon became a family sent to different emotional corners—like a break shot in the game of pool, he says, when you slam the cue ball into the fifteen other balls and they all go flying off. By the time Taylor released his breakout second album in 1970, Sweet Baby James, he had seen the disintegration of his parents’ marriage and his family crumble in the aftermath. He had committed himself twice to a psychiatric hospital, battled depression, a heroin addiction, suffered a relapse, and traveled far away from the wood smoke and moonshine of the North Carolina landscapes in which he came of age. Despite it all, he was also on the cusp of superstardom and on his way to bringing light and joy to millions. He was 21.Journey with James Taylor to a time before he became a Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Songwriters Hall of Fame inductee, a recipient of the Kennedy Center Honors and both the Presidential Medal of Freedom and the National Medal of Arts—and a beloved voice to millions.

An Impossible Life: The Inspiring True Story of a Woman's Struggle from Within


Rachael Siddoway - 2019
    Wife of a CEO, mother of three, living in a beautiful suburb, Sonja’s life appears ideal. How did she get here?In a gripping and breathtaking narrative that makes the reader feel as though they are listening in on a private conversation, Sonja tells the compelling real account of her struggle with marriage, motherhood, and mental illness.An Impossible Life is an unforgettable true story of perseverance when all hope seems lost. Intriguing and heartfelt, Sonja’s personal account of her mental health journey shines a beacon of hope to all who feel overwhelmed by the specter of mental illness.

If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood


Gregg Olsen - 2019
    Until now.For years, behind the closed doors of their farmhouse in Raymond, Washington, their sadistic mother, Shelly, subjected her girls to unimaginable abuse, degradation, torture, and psychic terrors. Through it all, Nikki, Sami, and Tori developed a defiant bond that made them far less vulnerable than Shelly imagined. Even as others were drawn into their mother’s dark and perverse web, the sisters found the strength and courage to escape an escalating nightmare that culminated in multiple murders.

Stolen Innocence: My Story of Growing Up in a Polygamous Sect, Becoming a Teenage Bride, and Breaking Free of Warren Jeffs


Elissa Wall - 2008
    At once shocking, heartbreaking, and inspiring, Wall’s story of subjugation and survival exposes the darkness at the root of this rebel offshoot of the Mormon faith.

The Real Lolita: The Kidnapping of Sally Horner and the Novel that Scandalized the World


Sarah Weinman - 2018
    And yet, very few of its readers know that the subject of the novel was inspired by a real-life case: the 1948 abduction of eleven-year-old Sally Horner.Weaving together suspenseful crime narrative, cultural and social history, and literary investigation, The Real Lolita tells Sally Horner’s full story for the very first time. Drawing upon extensive investigations, legal documents, public records, and interviews with remaining relatives, Sarah Weinman uncovers how much Nabokov knew of the Sally Horner case and the efforts he took to disguise that knowledge during the process of writing and publishing Lolita.Sally Horner’s story echoes the stories of countless girls and women who never had the chance to speak for themselves. By diving deeper in the publication history of Lolita and restoring Sally to her rightful place in the lore of the novel’s creation, The Real Lolita casts a new light on the dark inspiration for a modern classic.

Slave Girl


Sarah Forsyth - 2009
    Somehow she managed to overcome the hurt and heartbreak of a horrific childhood, and build a new and happy life for herself as a nursery nurse. Then, one day, Sarah spotted a newspaper advert for a job in a creche in Amsterdam. Thrilled by the prospect of a fresh start away from Newcastle and all the memories it held, she eagerly signed up. But within minutes of arriving in Amsterdam her life began to fall apart. There was no creche and no job: Sarah was a victim of sex-trafficking. Fed cocaine and cannabis, and forced at gunpoint to work as a prostitute in the red light district of Amsterdam, Sarah was turned from a young innocent English girl into a desperate and terrified crack whore. Riddled with fear about what her pimps would do to her if they caught her trying to run away, it took Sarah almost a year to find the strength to fight back and escape. But, unlike many of the girls that she was forced to live and work beside, she did get away. Sarah Forsyth is a survivor. This is her heartbreaking story.

Meant To Be


Walter Anderson - 2003
    With the publication of this affecting memoir, he reveals the truth about his life and tells the inspirational story of his rags-to-riches career.Anderson grew up on the "wrong side of the tracks" in Mount Vernon, New York, the youngest child of an alcoholic, abusive father. He escaped his situation by quitting high school at sixteen to join the Marines. Four years later, while on leave to attend his father's funeral, he stuns his mother with a question that has inexplicably haunted him since he was a small boy: Was the man who had so tormented him in his childhood his real father? Her answer: Walter was born of a wartime love affair between his Protestant mother and the Jewish man she loved. His mother swears him to secrecy, and he honors their pact for nearly thirty-five years, and then one day he meets an unknown brother -- another son of his real father -- who has lived a similar, nearly parallel life. Their secret, in ways large and small, defines the course of his life. Meant To Be is a love story, a journey of self-discovery and spiritual reckoning, and a provocative challenge to commonly held notions about the role of heredity in our lives. Passionately told and deeply moving, Anderson's memoir is the mesmerizing story that he was always meant to tell.

Unloved: The True Story of a Stolen Childhood


Peter Roche - 2007
    Finding it was like discovering that I really did exist after all . It was as if someone was saying ‘No, it wasn’t all in your imagination, that childhood really did happen, and it happened to you.’ Brought up in South London by violent and abusive parents, the Roche children knew only cruelty, neglect, starvation and squalor. As one of ten and regularly beaten, Peter searched dustbins for food and slept rough when he couldn't face going home. It was survival at all costs, every child for itself. Expelled from school at the age of 14, Peter’s life of petty crime landed him in borstal – and exposed him to yet more sickening abuse.Then, years later, a chance meeting with a social worker led to his discovery of a photograph - a portrait, taken by Lord Snowdon, of a toddler dressed in rags. It was an image that had shocked the world. The boy in the picture was Peter. Unloved is a harrowing account of a shattered childhood, told by a man who has finally found the courage to speak out. This is his story.

Just Another Kid


Torey L. Hayden - 1988
    Three were recent arrivals from battletorn Ireland, horribly traumitized by the nightmare of war. Then there was eleven-year-old Dirkie, who had known no life outside of an institution; Mariana, who was dangerously excitable and sexually precocious, though she was only eight; and Leslie, seven years old, yet completely unresponsive and unable to speak. These were the children entrusted to the care of Torey Hayden, the extraordinary special-education teacher who refused to give up on them. She was determined that every child should experience joy, hope, and a future free of fear, and with compassion, patience, and most of all love, she knew that miracles can happen.

Can I Say: Living Large, Cheating Death, and Drums, Drums, Drums


Travis Barker - 2014
    But the dark side of rock stardom took its toll: his marriage, chronicled for an MTV reality show, fell apart. Constant touring concealed a serious drug addiction. A reckoning did not truly come until he was forced to face mortality: His life nearly ended in a horrifying plane crash, and then his close friend, collaborator, and fellow crash survivor DJ AM died of an overdose.In this blunt, driving memoir, Barker ruminates on rock stardom, fatherhood, death, loss, and redemption, sharing stories shaped by decades’ worth of hard-earned insights. His pulsating memoir is as energetic as his acclaimed beats. It brings to a close the first chapters of a well-lived life, inspiring readers to follow the rhythms of their own hearts and find meaning in their lives.