Writing very bad poetry requires talent. It helps to have a wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into a mire of sentimentality, and an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence.The 131 poems collected in this first-of-its-kind anthology are so glaringly awful that they embody a kind of genius. From Fred Emerson Brooks' "The Stuttering Lover" to Matthew Green's "The Spleen" to Georgia Bailey Parrington's misguided "An Elegy to a Dissected Puppy," they mangle meter, run rampant over rhyme, and bludgeon us into insensibility with their grandiosity, anticlimax, and malapropism.Guaranteed to move even the most stoic reader to tears (of laughter), Very Bad Poetry is sure to become a favorite of the poetically inclined (and disinclined).

    However, after a painful divorce, she decides it's time to lay low for a while in her charming San Francisco apartment with her beautiful Abyssinian cat, Cleo.Everything would be wonderful, except for her utterly impossible neighbor Jack Walker. When he's not arguing day and night with his girlfriend, begging her to move in with him, he's chasing down his cat named Dog, who seems determined to get Cleo to succumb to his feline advances.Then Lacey discovers the awful truth - Cleo is in the family way and Dog's to blame. She's furious that neither Jack nor his amorous animal seem too upset about the situation.But Lacey learns that things are not quite as they seem. Jack's "girlfriend" is really his sister and his intentions toward Lacey are very honorable. And though she's not quite sure about Dog, Lacey begins to discover the tender joy of falling in love all over again.

    'Near Marble Arch.''That sounds great, hon. I can't wait to see you.''Yeah. Me too.''I'm vaguely nervous.''Don't be.'Do be. I'm a child.Lolito is a love story about a fifteen year-old boy who meets a middle-aged woman on the internet.When his long-term girlfriend and first love Alice betrays him at a house party, Etgar goes looking for cyber solace in the arms of Macy, a stunning but bored housewife he meets online. What could possibly go wrong...?Hilarious, fearless and utterly outrageous, Lolito is a truly twenty-first century love story.

    All the sheep are bedded up and everyone is fed and watered. No ewe is lambing, and I have half an hour to myself. I stretch out my feet in my wellies and push them into the warm straw ...'Sally Urwin and her husband Steve own High House Farm in Northumberland, which they share with Mavis the Sheepdog, one very fat pony, and many, many sheep. Set in beautiful, wild landscape, and in use for generations, it's the perfect setting for Sally's (sometimes brutally) honest and charming account of farming life. From stock sales to lambing sheds, and out in the fields in driving snow and hot summer days, A Farmer's Diary reveals the highs, lows and hard, hard work involved in making a living from the land. Filled with grit and humour, newborn lambs and local characters, this is the perfect book for anyone who has ever wondered what it's like on the other side of the fence.

    The first avocado pears are appearing at the greengrocer's, people are thinking about carpeting their lavatories and boxing in their banisters, and Ronnie Glover, housepainter, husband and father, is feeling the first vague stirrings of discontent with his life. Then, out of the blue, the fabulous, sophisticated (and married) Jacqueline bursts into his life and teaches him to tango. She seems to offer everything he ever dreamt of. But is it all too good to he true?

    All she has to focus on is thinking her wildest fantasies into reality. A bit like Pollyanna except with a magic 8 ball, a mortgage and a lot of vodka... so along with her two beyond fabulous best friends they vow to project manage each other's lives with hilarious consequences

    She's thrilled to be working with a high-profile mystery writer, until sleazy superagent Jerry Key threatens to yank the project unless she sleeps with him ... One Woman is ScornedFelicia Redmon is an accomplished editor with the world at her beautiful feet. But behind closed doors, her former lover, Jerry Key, is making her life miserable. After she receives a taunting nude photo of herself at her office, Felicia becomes desperate ...One Woman is RuthlessJané Glass is an e-book editor with an identity crisis and an attitude. When she discovers Jerry Key stole material from one of her authors, she sees red ...And One Man is DeadThe women's plot to humiliate the bad-boy agent goes off without a glitch ... until they discover the next morning that Jerry is dead, and not of humiliation. Toss in a missing manuscript worth millions, a sexy cop, and a bike messenger delivering desire, and the women suddenly realize that when it comes to friendship, flirtation, and felony, they're in a "Whole Lotta Trouble"!

    Barcelona Plates is a collection of sleek, dark, and witty short stories from the renowned comedian, presenter and actor, Alexei Sayle.

    Ireland's most acclaimed satirist is back with a second collection of short stories to provoke, unsettle and illuminate.Roving through the centuries, from the barren fields of the Famine-struck West to the hyperreal adscape of our technocratic present, the second collection of short stories from Blindboy Boatclub is a wild and exhilarating hike along the knotted paths of the Irish subconscious.From the time-travelling effects of tweed suits, to a vengeful farmer who hypnotises old people into believing they're cows after his farm is turned into a nursing home, these stories are characteristically surreal, yet littered with moments of profound insight and quiet devastation.

    But it's the fact that the duo are everyday pets, with relationships to their owners that ring true, that makes MUTTS work." -Pet LifeI Want to Be the Kitty marks the eighth collection of this award-winning strip and is the follow-up to the successful What Now. As usual, the lovable duo of Earl the dog and his feline friend Mooch can be counted on for charming adventures and out-loud laughs.The sweet and unique friendship of this special dog and kitty comes through in every strip. When Mooch decides one January morning he's going to hibernate by staying in bed all winter, Earl tries desperately to get him out of bed until he finds out himself how "toashty" it is, in the words of Mooch. Next thing you know, Mooch has a bedmate who announces "I'll see ya in March." The two snore though hibernation together-that is, until they are called for dinner.With its expressive art and clever, sometimes philosophical, pet banter, MUTTS has built a large and loyal fan base among readers and fellow cartoonists worldwide. The strip has been the discussion topic of Tonight show guests (Brooke Shields), and it's earned the National Cartoonists Society's coveted Comic Strip of the Year Award. And now, as a testament to its ever-growing popularity, fans in New Jersey can show their loyalty to the strip-and animal protection-by getting a state license plate complete with Earl and Mooch and the slogan "Animal Friendly." In MUTTS, cartoonist Patrick McDonnell has created a classic strip that not only delivers consistent laughs but often a message as well.

    

    Popular recipes from India, Pakistan, Indonesia, Thailand, Mexico, South America and Africa are brought together in this cookbook to give readers the chance to make easy-to-prepare high-quality food that will cook while they are out at work.

    

    Until now, that is.Steve Stack has catalogued well over one hundred objects, traditions, cultural icons and, well, other stuff that is at risk of extinction. Some of them have vanished already.Cassette tapes, rotary dial phones, half-day closing, milk bottle deliveries, Concorde, handwritten letters, typewriters, countries that no longer exist, white dog poo… all these and many more are big a fond farewell in this nostalgic, and sometimes irreverent, trip down memory lane.