But Alan’s new job proves to be anything but boring when his co-workers start turning up dead. The mysterious megacorporation Amalgamated Synergy has taken a deadly interest in Alan and his three roommates, and the hapless quartet are woefully unequipped to deal with the psychotic secretaries, murderous middle managers, and villainous vice-presidents hunting them down. Their investigation leads them deep into Amalgamated Synergy’s headquarters, but can Alan and his friends stay alive long enough to discover who – or what – waits for them on the top floor?

    Fortunately, Moran’s injuries are not fatal; unfortunately, his compromising admissions have been heard by a motley assortment of bedside visitors, including a local police detective and the younger brother of Cesar Hernandez, Moran’s backer in his bookmaking business. The book follows, courtesy of Moran’s often hilarious first-person narration, the consequences of his ill-timed frankness, which include assault, vandalism, theft and murder. When the police identify Moran as the prime suspect in the killing, he embarks on an amateurish and offbeat quest for the truth. Readers who like to smile while reading a whodunit should hope that the author manages to enmesh his creation in further investigations.

    His ex-fiancee is deader than a door nail and everyone thinks he dun did it. His house is haunted. His mother is running an illegal gambling ring. His dog likes to bite people too much. And he's got to find out who really did it before the sheriff throws him in jail...again.

    And those knitting needles aren't just for craft projects. To most people, Gin Bombay is an ordinary single mom. Then again, they don't know she's from a family of top secret assassins. Somewhere between leading a Girl Scout troop for her kindergartner--would nooses count for a knot badge?--and keeping their puppy from destroying the furniture, Gin now has to take out a new target. BUT YOU CAN PICK THEM OFFExcept this target has an incredibly hot Australian bodyguard who knows just how to make her weak in the knees. But with a mole threatening to expose everything, Gin doesn't have much time to let her hormones do the happy dance. She's got to find the leak and clear her assignment...or she'll end up next on the Bombay family hit list.

    And what are they searching for? It’s not coffee. And it’s not pants. It’s true love, and everyone who goes, finds it!So what, exactly, is the café’s big secret? Harper Branton, a columnist for the San Francisco Tribune, who’d sooner believe in unicorns than in true love, is about to find out. And it’s the perfect story to save her train wreck of a career.Too bad she’s got competition. He’s sexy, he’s arrogant, and he thinks she’s crazy. ("What kind of person doesn’t believe in love?") And this coming from a man!When these two rivals go head to head, it's more like a WWF smackdown. A shared history binds them in wonderful, terrible ways quickly turning their duel into more than just a fight for a story. Will they tear each other apart for the win or end up as two more satisfied Happy Pants customers?Note: Stand-alone story

    She overcomes her grief by taking matters in her own hands and takes up a little romance writing to resurrect her vampire-werewolf book-boyfriend. Leigh gets more than she bargained for when she discovers that every steamy erotic scene she creates is magically reenacted by her family, friends and coworkers.In her hilarious first diary, Leigh unwittingly sets her parents up for a weekend dinner party that they will never forget. She has two weeks to find out what her new found magic is capable of. Can she prevent a wild erotic encounter that could devastate her sweet parent’s marriage? What and who else will get caught up in her magic spells?Read a story so witchingly fun, that you won’t be able to put it down and you will be eagerly awaiting the rest of the Literal Leigh Romance Diaries!

    He has forty children, and all of them have different mothers..."Jack Woodson was a thermal design engineer for four years until he was laid off from his job. Now, as a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn't changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day.Learn Me Good is Jack's hilarious retelling of his harrowing rookie year, written as a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his former engineering coworker. Inspired by real-life experiences of rambunctious and precocious children, lesson plans gone awry, and incredibly outrageous quotes, this laugh a minute page turner will give you a new appreciation for educators. Jack holds a March Mathness tournament, he faces a child's urgent declaration of "My bowels be runnin'!", and he mistakenly asks one girl's mother if she is her brother. With subject lines such as "Irritable Vowel Syndrome," "In math class, no one can hear you scream," and "I love the smell of Lysol in the morning," Jack fills each email with sarcastic (yet loving) humor, insightful observations, and plenty of irreverent wit.If you've ever taught, you will undoubtedly recognize aspects of your own students in Jack's classroom. If you've never set foot in a classroom, you will still appreciate the funny quirks, behaviors, and quotes from the kids and adults alike."I teach, therefore I am...poor!"

    Trapped in a remote Alaskan forest, pinned under his own SUV, gnawed upon by nature's finest predators, Marv Pushkin -- Corporate Warrior, Positive Thinker, Esquire subscriber -- waits impatiently for an ambulance and explains in detail the many reasons why this unfolding tragedy is everyone's fault but his own.

    She hasn't laid eyes on her great aunt Abigail since she was eight, so she’s stumped when she inherits Abgail's house in the small hamlet of Alpine Grove.Kat's uncomplicated life gets decidedly less so when she discovers the inheritance comes with some hairy conditions: four dogs and five cats that her aunt wanted her to love as her own. Of course, the house smells like a barn--with a touch of antique skunk--and, naturally, has serious roof issues. And that's before the three-legged cat gets stuck in the wall and the shower goes kablooey.When Kat meets Joel, an unemployed techie type with no love lost for his sister, Kat looks past his obvious flaws, given his timely and desirable skill set: a talent for fixing things (and his own tools).Despite out-of-control dogs, cat fights, dust dinosaurs, massive spiders and an old grizzled hippie passed out in the yard, Kat discovers the tranquility of the forests of Alpine Grove starting to seep into her soul.And why she can't she stop thinking about Joel?

    He escaped from his master's house for a brief romp around town, seeking out easy targets such as bitches in heat, fresh roadkill and unguarded garbage cans. When he returns to his house, the aged basset hound discovers that his master has packed up their belongings and moved to Florida without him. "Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed" is the story of Idjit Galoot's ne'er do well owner and his efforts to work his way back to the dog that he loves. Along the way, Idjit's owner encounters Christian terrorists, swamp-dwelling taxidermists, carnies, a b-list poopie-groupie, bluesmen on the run from a trickster deity, and the Florida Skunk Ape.

    In the early 1800s, Nicholas, Jessica and Jon Santa attempt the first human trek to the North Pole and stumble upon an ancient race of people left over from the Ice Age. They are short, fat and hairy. They slide across the ice on scaly soles and carve their homes in the ice that floats on the Arctic Ocean. The elven are adapted to life in the extreme cold. They are as wise as they are ancient.Their scientific advancements have yielded great inventions -- time-stopping devices and gravitational spheres that build living snowmen and genetically-modified reindeer that leap great distances. They’ve even unlocked the secrets to aging. For 40,000 years, they have lived in peace.Until now.An elven known as The Cold One has divided his people. He’s tired of their seclusion and wants to conquer the world. Only one elven stands between The ColdOne and total chaos. He’s white-bearded and red-coated. The Santa family will help him stop The Cold One. They will come to the aid of a legendary elvenknown as...Claus.

    A wall. Sometimes love blooms in the strangest of places... What would happen if a woman, tired of previous broken relationships, instead fell in love with her wall? Would she be spurned yet again, or would it be a match made in heaven? Gina Ranalli is the author of Suicide Girls in the Afterlife, 13 Thorns (with outsider artist Gus Fink) and Chemical Gardens.

    There’s just GOTTA be an explanation.But it’s not coming from Mary, as she’s quickly dubbed. She seems to have taken a vow of silence. So it’s up to the citizens of Bellingham to make their own miracles—or at least their own myths. The new celeb is instantly surrounded by hangers-on, miracle-seekers, paparazzi, preachers, and promoters—to hilarious effect.But are they dealing with an angel here, or someone playing an angle? Con, in a word, or icon? And by the way, what’s up with that strange light in the sky? Could be she came off a spaceship.Neither sacred nor profane, nor even paranormal, Campbell’s beautifully written book is at once funny and wise, a savvy story of how myths are made, how minds twist and turn around the extraordinary, how the human organism just can’t help grabbing for the supernatural, whether out of the spiritual need for a miracle or a mundane desire for cash.Think Barbara Kingsolver, Margaret Atwood, Anne Tyler, only really really funny.

    She resides in Limbo City, the modern capital of the collective afterlives, where she likes to stick it to the man (the legendary Grim Reaper himself) by harvesting the bare minimum of souls required of her. She’d much rather be hanging out with Gabriel, her favorite archangel, at Purgatory Lounge. But when a shocking promotion falls in Lana's lap, she learns something that could unravel the very fabric of Eternity. If the job isn’t completed, there could be some real hell to pay.

    With her sights set on the flamboyant Sebastian and his sophisticated group, Marie is sure that things are about to change for the better. But when a chance encounter brings some unlikely characters into her life, things start to veer off course. Marie would never normally be seen with this bunch of misfits but to her annoyance they just keep turning up. As lives quickly become entwined and unusual friendships form, Marie realises that we don't always get to choose our friends; sometimes they choose us. Buoyed by her newfound friendships, Marie might even take another chance at love.