Now twenty-seven, he's released from his latest stretch and returns home vowing to go straight. But things aren't that easy: his girlfriend has ditched him, he has to live on his brother's sofa and he can't get a job to save his life. On top of this, DS Weasel of CID keeps pulling him in for every little thing that happens in town. Now his former criminal mates have a humdinger of a job they want him in on ? a massive out-of-town supermarket. All he has to do is put together a gang of seven or eight lads and he could have the biggest payout of his life. Or the biggest headache. Milo's Marauders is the first in a new series of crime capers from the author of The Burglar Diaries. Set in the same crap town as King's riotous debut and featuring some of the same dodgy characters, Milo's Marauders will have you laughing like a maniac and gagging for more.

     Amazon UK reviews for Steven's first book, No Place Like Home, Thank God: "A superb book I devoured in two days." "This book made me laugh out loud." "Great read. Laugh out loud funny." "I really enjoyed this book!" "Steven's style of writing made me laugh out loud." "I couldn't put it down." "One of the best books I've read in a long time." "Found his one liners very funny." "A highly entertaining read." "So well written with brilliant humour." Seventy year-old British ex-pat miserymonger George Pearly lives on the Costa del Sol, all alone except for his ancient, three-legged dog, Ambrose. George hates his life and everybody in it. These feelings are mutual. Everyone hates George too. From this unhappy equilibrium the situation quickly deteriorates. First, George discovers he is dying of a mystery illness. Then his 35 year-old ape-child nephew, Kevin, moves into George's tiny and once tranquil home with a passion for Vimto, Coco Pops and slobbing around in his greying underpants. Worst of all, George's neighbours start to disappear and all accusing fingers point towards George. Pull up a sun lounger, grab yourself a piña colada and enjoy a murder-mystery romp on Spain's sunny southern coast.

    The late-night chats, shared heartaches and good times have created a bond that has stood the test of time. Now in their thirties, Grace is always a bit disappointed about how little time they get to spend together, so when Ella invites them all to stay for a week in her cottage in South Wales, Grace jumps at the chance to see her old friends. She also hopes that the change in pace will help her reconnect with her husband, Harry. Unfortunately for her, Harry isn't as enamoured with Cwtch Cottage as she is. Then Flick arrives; loveable, bubbly Flick, accompanied by the handsome and charming Noah, and suddenly the week ahead looks as though it may be even more confusing for all the residents of Cwtch Cottage.

    As her 35th birthday looms, Suzanne embarks on a wrong-headed, but very funny, quest—to find Mr. Right and start the family she hopes will give meaning to her life. Her quest plunges us into the world of her Upper West Side apartment building, a world of overly invested mothers, fanatical dog-owners, curmudgeonly longtime residents, and young (and not so young) professionals. All are keenly observed by Suzanne, whose witty self-deprecation endears her to us even as it makes us want to shake some sense into her. Light in its tone but incisive in its social satire, Suzanne Davis Gets a Life balances its wit with true concern for its protagonist. We can't help but wish Suzanne success in "getting a life." But can such a search possibly yield the meaning she craves? When her extremely annoying mother arrives on the scene, it appears that her plan has been hijacked. But serious illness opens her to new people and a new perspective. She ends by getting a life—even as she may lose one.Cohen "portrays timeless and universal challenges through a buoyant combination of humor, pathos, and gumption."—Booklist"Suzanne Davis Gets a Life isn't just seriously entertaining, it's entertainingly serious…I want my romantic comedy heroines to have wit, but I want them to have character too, and be as interested in the world as in themselves. Paula Marantz Cohen has given me all of that."—Margo JeffersonA "witty commentary on contemporary life, enriched by a funny, flawed, and likable heroine."—Kirkus"Ms. Cohen is a perceptive, comic writer."—Wall Street JournalPaula Marantz Cohen's novels include Jane Austen in Scarsdale or Love, Death and the SATs, Jane Austen in Boca, and the recent What Alice Knew: A Most Curious Tale of Henry James and Jack the Ripper.

    The gift comes with a twist. They must live together for one year at the hotel and prepare the hotel to receive guests within a year. Sheena, eager to escape her role of unappreciated wife and mother, can’t wait for the opportunity to find herself. Dreams of sitting on the beach sipping margaritas are shattered when they see the property in need of renovation. But they begin their work of meeting the challenge. If they succeed, the bulk of Gavin’s estate will be theirs. Facing the unexpected, working together, the three sisters learn a lot about each other and the gift of family love.

    Poems, sketches, cartoons, short prose pieces and doctored photos.

    It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.

    Unfortunately they have no real resources, no good plans, and no idea what the hell they're doing. What they do have is an army of foul-mouthed monkeys who want them dead, a beautiful woman who wants some answers, a sex-crazed tribal chief, a caffeine-addicted demigod who wants to be worshipped, and a telepathic skull who just wants a little excitement. Through nonstop comedy and good old-fashioned adventure these guys are facing some long odds but do Ron and Willy give up? No they don't. They get down to business. Monkey Business.

    First responders share unique baby names, we hear stories about clueless newbies, bitter veterans, and patients with good intentions but bad ideas. We also hear more about the not-so-happy side of this industry. Grab a blanket, a mug of hot chocolate, and cozy up in front of the fire to catch up with submissions from people like you!

    Apparently it’s fine for Scrimshaw Travel to make last minute amendments to the holiday without incurring any penalties or reducing the price in any way. That’s what the indifferent courier tells him on day one of the tour as she arrives in a clapped-out, old coach being driven by a partially-sighted driver. With the spa hotel replaced by a rundown guest house staffed by a neurotic manager, decrepit waitress and under-sexed, Italian waiter there doesn’t appear to be much of the brochure-described holiday left. Thank goodness for Angela, the rather lovely woman Derek pals up with on the journey down. She might just make the trip bearable. If only the other members of the group would leave them alone long enough to get to know each other, but Derek has always had the ability to attract the eccentric characters to him and he can’t escape them. Still, perhaps they’ll surprise him as he learns about their lives and secrets as they move from one hilarious excursion to another. And maybe Angela will provide one or two surprises herself. Driven to Distraction is a fun romp through the English countryside with characters finding love and friendship while travelling at twenty miles an hour. (Well, it is a clapped-out, old coach).

    In the space of a single horrendous day, Merry’s boss kicks her out to pasture, her husband ditches her for a barely legal floozy, and she decides to end it all. (But she doesn’t have cancer, no matter what her doctor says, so at least she’s got that going for her.)Determined to hurl herself into an early grave, Merry flies home to Greece for one last hurrah. But Greece has other plans for Merry, and before long she enthusiastically decides to give living one more shot.Too bad she no longer has any say in the matter.

    Sam Hunt faces up to the big three-o, and begins to feel that it might just be the beginning of the end.

    Already married and divorced she's not desperate to go through all that again.But what if her divorce never actually went through...?After a shock revelation Poppy not only discovers she is still married, but that Zac is about to have his second wedding!Coming face to face with her (almost) ex-husband after six years apart is never going to be easy. And when Zac panics and tells his new wife-to-be that Poppy is family, things can't get much worse as she is welcomed with open arms as part of the wedding party!As the memories flood back, can Poppy really leave the past where it is? And can she watch the first love of her life walk down the aisle to say 'I do' once again?

    Many of her new colleagues are good men but some won’t leave their new female colleague alone long enough to get on with her job. Kate is anxious to lose herself in her work, and before too long a case comes along that will consume her in a way she could never have imagined.THE CASEBoys are being abducted, abused, and murdered on her patch, and Kate feels intense personal and professional pressure to catch those responsible. Are her colleagues being deliberately obstructive or simply dragging their feet? Who is behind the vile crimes?SHE WON’T LET THE BULLIES STOP HER. KATE WILL RISK HER CAREER AND HER LIFE TO BRING JUSTICE TO THE VICTIMS.Set in the late 90s in England’s second city, this is the first in a series of compulsively readable crime thrillers.

    Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to hone their physiques ready for the summer holidays. All it will take is a bit of effort and willpower . . . and pulling together as a team. What could possibly stand in their way?True to form, the path to the body beautiful is less straightforward than they hope!