Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    The gig – as prey in leprechaun hunt for a bunch of Wallstreet jerks – goes as badly as it sounds. He could leave it there and write it off as a harsh lesson learned, but fourteen months later when Smithy comes up with a plan to take his revenge on the man behind it all, it is too good to resist.What is it they say about best-laid plans? Instead of teaching his nemesis, Louis, a valuable lesson, Smithy ends up saving him from an assassin. From there, Smith and his friend Diller are dragged into his opponent’s messed-up world. Louis is part of ‘the Collectors’ a group with way more money than sense dedicated to the competitive acquisition of truly one-of-a-kind items that define the secret history of the world.When one of the group’s members loses his marbles, Smithy and Diller find themselves shanghaied to Nowhere. A well-named location in the middle of the desert, where a madman is trying to build an army from the worst of mankind.Welcome to Nowhere is a wild ride from the author renowned for the darkly comic thrills of The Dublin Trilogy series and the McGarry Stateside books. It is a standalone novel that is a perfect introduction to McDonnell’s blend of comedy and compelling story that is earning him a growing legion of loyal fans.

    

    On a cruise ship - Please do not lean on the widow. In a hotel - A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but not trousers. In a London department store - Bargain basement upstairs.

    Suspicion that Hendrix is an impostor leads Max Stafford to the Rift Valley, where a violent reaction to his arrival points to a sinister and far-reaching conspiracy far beyond mere greed…Includes a unique bonus - The Circumstances Surrounding the Crime, Bagley's true story about an attempted assassination.

    He is stunned to discover than his old friend Peter Mandeville left his only child in his care in the hope that he will teach her something about her heritage, an aspect of life that his strong willed daughter has yet to experience. Felix has spent his entire life avoiding the convoluted world that constitutes Society and is appalled by the burden that has been thrust upon him, especially when his new ward refuses to play by the rules. For Dominica Mandeville there are no rules. Beautiful and independent, she has spent her life following in the wake of battle in the company of her soldier father and her Portuguese mother. After a life of adventure, the knowledge that she has been given into the care of a perfect stranger chaffs unbearably. The loss of her beloved parents hurts but the loss of her freedom is the cruelest cut of all. Will she ever learn to be a demure debutante? Or will her impetuosity lead to scandals that even the capable Felix is unable to save her from?

    A laugh-out-loud romantic comedy about life, love and contemporary manhood, Tom Cooper is a male Bridget Jones for our times.  ‘A gloriously self-aware, satirical romp through the terrors of relationships, family life and survival.  Philip Roth meets Cold Feet!’ Helen Lederer (Absolutely Fabulous, Losing It (P.G.Wodehouse Award nominee))   ‘Spencer Brown is endlessly inventive and delightfully, dependably silly, like a joy-seeking missile’ Richard Ayoade (The IT crowd, Submarine, The Crystal Maze) ‘An aspirational figure for the men of today’ Omid Djalili (Live at the Apollo, The Infidel) ‘Very funny. Peep Show combined with Outnumbered.  But you know.  In a book.’ Josh Howie (Josh Howie’s Losing it, BBC Radio 4) ‘Hilarious and heart-warming’ Andi Osho (Live at the Apollo, Curfew) Tom Cooper’s life has fallen apart. His wife has left, he’s stuck in an accountancy job he hates and he can’t even call on the grandparents for support – they’re too busy – after all, a Scrabble trophy doesn’t engrave itself. But when a creative position opens up at the advertising agency he works for, he sees the opportunity to turn things around. All he has to do is pitch a product to a new market, convince Maestro J he is sufficiently finger-clickingly ‘creative’, beat his weaselly co-worker/nemesis John to the job, and try not to fall for his new mentor, Amanda. Oh, and try to blend in with people 10 years younger than him, survive the office obstacle course using his imaginary agility and stop accidentally turning up to work in the exact same outfit as Doug. The Rebuilding of Tom Cooper is a laugh-out-loud comedy about life, love and 21st century manhood. 
 About the author Spencer Brown cut his teeth in the Cambridge Footlights alongside John Oliver and Matthew Holness, before becoming an internationally acclaimed stand-up comedian and TV presenter on shows including Lip Service which he hosted with Holly Willoughby. He has also appeared in cult comedies including Nathan Barley and Garth Merenghi's Darkplace, as well as starring in the films 'Shed of the Dead' and the upcoming 'The Devil went down to Islington'. He is also an award winning film maker, having written and directed The Boy with a Camera for a Face, which won multiple prizes including the Oscar qualifying Best of Fest at SLIFF.

    As A Man Thinketh maps out the way in which our thoughts can affect our physical, mental, emotional and social health. It also discusses ways in which we can use our visions and ideas to lead us to peace of mind. From Passion to Peace is a step by step discussion on conquering the factors within us that hinder us from achieving success. Man: King of Mind, Body and Circumstance aims at freeing us from the slavery of our negative and binding thoughts, enabling us to conquer our inhibitions and set our spirit free. Foundation Stones to Happiness and Success help us lay the foundation for a stronger self, with the right balance of thoughts, speech and its implementation in action.

    They come upon Nobber, a tiny town, whose only living habitants seem to be an egotistical bureaucrat, his volatile wife, a naked blacksmith, and a beautiful Gaelic hostage. Meanwhile, a band of marauding Gaels are roaming around, using the confusion of the sickness to pillage and reclaim lands that once belonged to them.As these groups converge upon the town, the habitants, who up until this point have been under strict curfew, begin to stir from their dwellings, demanding answers from the intruders. A deadly stand-off emerges from which no one will escape unscathed.

    Reading about his misadventures in the capital of Spain, you will learn about Spanish culture and improve your language skills along the way. This story is the second book in a series of Spanish Easy Readers called SPANISH FOR BEGINNERS, whose aim is to help you learn Spanish from scratch and reach an intermediate level.Therefore, the difficulty of the text and the language used in this short story have been adapted to help students revise and consolidate their grammar and vocabulary in Spanish at level A1 and A2 on the Common European Framework of Reference. Repetition, repetition, repetition… Repetition is key in this book: you will read the same words, the same expressions and the same grammar structures again and again. When learning new words and new expressions in a foreign language, repetition is essential. You need to read (and hear) the same words again and again, in different contexts, in order to understand its meaning and to be able to remember them later on. That is the reason we say this book is carefully designed to help you revise and consolidate fundamental vocabulary and basic grammar structures studied in any Spanish beginner course: you will read the same words, the same expressions and the same grammar structures again and again, in different contexts, in order to help you understand its meaning and be able to remember them later on. Vocabulary. Each chapter comes with a translation of the most important words and expressions used in the text to help you understand the story and learn the vocabulary and grammar involved.

    Potatoes constitute the basis of his family's daily fare, and they share both bed and board with the sheep and pigs. A scathing satire on narratives of Gaelic Ireland, this work brought down on the author's head the full wrath of those who saw themselves as the custodians of Irish language and tradition when it was first published in Gaelic in 1941.

    From practical to playful, 156 awesome things every new father needs to know--one step at a time. In a series of nearly wordless, highly informative, often hilariously illustrated, step-by-step activities, dads-to-be learn how to do dozens of useful (and fascinating and important and sometimes surprisingly fun) tasks, including: - Preparing to impregnate - Recognizing the signs of pregnancy - Childproofing a home - Delivering a baby in the subway - Handling diaper disasters - Making bath time fun - Inventing a fairy tale - Mixing formula the right way - Making baby laugh . . . and much, much more. Presented in the bold visual style of the award-winning Show Me How series, drawing on the best of information technology and graphic-novel communication, this is a innovative reference book that can and will be enjoyed as a work of art and as a quirky, thoughtful gift. Packed with useful hands-on tutorials, Show Dad How is a real-life resource that can turn dad into an expert in any situation, from the bedroom to the kitchen to the playground.

    His favorite hostess and love interest, Connie, was murdered in the parking lot behind the club. And Zeb, the dubious plastic surgeon who implanted McEvoy's hair plugs, has disappeared. In no time at all McEvoy's got half the New Jersey mob, dirty cops and his man-crazy upstairs neighbor after him. Bullets are flying, everyone's on the take, and McEvoy still doesn't have a clue about what's happening.

    I reached out to run my fingers through his hair in response to the thrust from his tongue on my neck. He took in a deep breath against my neck and as he reached my ear lobe, he whispered in a very hoarse voice, “I wanted to do this at your front door.” " Almost a decade of pain pent up inside her, Sameera manages to lead a simple life with her older sister as her roommate. She wonders if she would have lasting happiness in her life as every time she finds happiness it is yanked away from her before she realizes it. Nick was her best friend in high school and is now back in her life after all these years and it is very clear that he wants more than just friendship. He expresses his need for her very early on shaking up Sameera’s quiet world. Will Sameera learn to stop bracing herself for the next big tragedy and learn to accept that she was destined to meet Nick? Is Nick the pillar of strength for Sameera to work through her challenges and internal conflicts? Can she trust the guy she had known many years ago? Nick is not a high school kid anymore; He is a successful businessman that leads a life of extreme luxuries. Nick seemed to know everything about her? How? She steps out of her comfort zone for Nick but can she hang on to him. Is Nick the guy that she was destined to meet or is he going to cause her another heart break? Take Sameera’s journey in this passionate love story as she discovers the meaning of true love and realizes the power of destiny.

    The couple who survived the Great Hunger have had to watch more than half their family leave the parish. The responsibility to care for one another extends beyond blood or marriage ties for the McGrother family in New York, when a young Irishman goes missing in America. Back in Ireland, at a time when James and Mary least expect it, a family member returns - but not everyone is pleased with the reunion.