Vampires do not have the capability to love. They are heartless."The Capulets and the Montagues have some deep and essential differences. Blood differences. Of course, the Capulets can escape their vampire fate, and the Montagues can try not to kill their undead enemies. But at the end of the day, their blood feud is unstoppable. So it's really quite a problem when Juliet, a vampire-to-be, and Romeo, the human who should be hunting her, fall desperately in love. What they don't realize is how deadly their love will turn out to be—or what it will mean for their afterlives. . . .This riotous twist on the ultimate tale of forbidden romance is simply to die for.

     Congratulations! But before beginning that dark and shadowed journey into a life of eternal damnation, every vampire is required to read THE VAMPIRE HANDBOOK, a short step-by-step guide to becoming a vampire and then adjusting to the bloodsucking lifestyle. Some of the helpful tips in this handbook include: Rules for Living an Environmentally Friendly and Urbane, Undead Lifestyle, Dietary Restrictions for Vampires, Engaging in Battles with Other Immortals, Rules for Fitting into Society and not Scaring off Potential Meals and much more... In addition to THE VAMPIRE HANDBOOK, you will also get THE WERE/SHAPE-SHIFTER HANDBOOK and THE ZOMBIE HANDBOOK as well as a few sample chapters from PJ Jones's sparkly vampire parody, ROMANCE NOVEL.

    But in this vampire love story, the only thing that sparkles is the dialogue.Dracula has chosen a bride. She's a succubus queen of the undead, and their union will end eons of conflict and bring the monster world under his rule. Only one problem: he's hired Deadpool to find her. The stakes are high, middling and painfully low as wascally Wade goes all Indiana Jones in a bid to dig up Drac's long-buried intended. But as teleporting assassins, Greek legends and the vampire hunter Blade get in his way, it's clear not everyone's on board with this unholy matrimony. And when Deadpool finally meets the bride-to-be, even he gets cold feet. If Wade won't run this gauntlet, Dracula will throw down the gauntlet. And that means sending Werewolf by Night and the most literal Frightful Four of all time to retrieve his quarry. As an all-out Monster Mash looms, how far is Wade willing to go to stop this wedding?Collecting: Deadpool: Dracula's Gauntlet 1-7

    Welcome to "The Hunger But Mainly Death Games," the hilarious Hunger Games parody, and the only book brave enough to suggest that Suzanne Collins's epic trilogy was way more about death than food.Or at least this is what Bratniss Everclean discovers, when she leaves the comforts of Slum 12, Pandumb’s garbage dump, to shortsightedly volunteer for a teenage death tournament. But she soon realizes there are fates worse than death…like weirdly having to date her fellow competitor, and lifelong stalker, Pita Malarkey. Okay, okay, it’s not worse than DEATH, but it’s still pretty annoying.Still, with help from her agent Oofie Triptrip and her mentor, Hagridmitch, who’s pretty sure he can guide Bratniss to victory in the Tri-Wizard Cup, maybe Bratniss will somehow survive this book that she’s the narrator of. “The Hunger But Mainly Death Games” is the perfect book for anyone who’s going through Hunger Games withdrawal and ready for a wonderfully twisted take on their favorite story and characters. This book is also for the unfortunate teens who are trapped in a Hunger Games at this very moment and could really benefit from some levity. We’re here for you, assuming you brought your e-reader into the arena.

    Day after day, he stares at beautiful Christine, the girl he can never have, and dryly notes the small humiliations that come his way. Until the day he learns about the "squip." A pill-sized supercomputer that you swallow, the squip is guaranteed to bring you whatever you most desire in life. By instructing him on everything from what to wear, to how to talk and walk, the squip transforms Jeremy from Supergeek to superchic. Now an off-Broadway musical!Alternate cover: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4...

    But then Lillian had to leave the school unexpectedly in the wake of a scandal and they’ve barely spoken since. Until now, when Lillian gets a letter from Madison pleading for her help.Madison’s twin stepkids are moving in with her family and she wants Lillian to be their caretaker. However, there’s a catch: the twins spontaneously combust when they get agitated, flames igniting from their skin in a startling but beautiful way. Lillian is convinced Madison is pulling her leg, but it’s the truth.Thinking of her dead-end life at home, the life that has consistently disappointed her, Lillian figures she has nothing to lose. Over the course of one humid, demanding summer, Lillian and the twins learn to trust each other—and stay cool—while also staying out of the way of Madison’s buttoned-up politician husband. Surprised by her own ingenuity yet unused to the intense feelings of protectiveness she feels for them, Lillian ultimately begins to accept that she needs these strange children as much as they need her—urgently and fiercely. Couldn’t this be the start of the amazing life she’d always hoped for?With white-hot wit and a big, tender heart, Kevin Wilson has written his best book yet—a most unusual story of parental love.

    Vladimir’s Academy, a private high school for vampires and half-bloods. It’s filled with intrigue, danger—and even romance.Enter their dark, fascinating world through a new series of 144-page full-color graphic novels. The entire first Vampire Academy novel has been adapted for book one by Leigh Dragoon and overseen by Richelle Mead, while the beautiful art of acclaimed British illustrator Emma Vieceli brings the story to life.

    It is here that the lives of two women, with two mysteries, will converge.Nineteen-year-old Night Vale pawn shop owner Jackie Fierro is given a paper marked "King City" by a mysterious man in a tan jacket holding a deer skin suitcase. Everything about him and his paper unsettles her, especially the fact that she can't seem to get the paper to leave her hand, and that no one who meets this man can remember anything about him. Jackie is determined to uncover the mystery of King City and the man in the tan jacket before she herself unravels.Night Vale PTA treasurer Diane Crayton's son, Josh, is moody and also a shape shifter. And lately Diane's started to see her son's father everywhere she goes, looking the same as the day he left years earlier, when they were both teenagers. Josh, looking different every time Diane sees him, shows a stronger and stronger interest in his estranged father, leading to a disaster Diane can see coming, even as she is helpless to prevent it.Diane's search to reconnect with her son and Jackie's search for her former routine life collide as they find themselves coming back to two words: "King City". It is King City that holds the key to both of their mysteries, and their futures...if they can ever find it.

    The unlikely trio lie, flirt, fight, and manipulate each other as they make their way across Britain, disrupting society balls, slaying vampires, and making every effort not to betray their feelings to each other as their personal and romantic lives become increasingly entangled. Both witty and slapstick, elegant and gory, Emily McGovern’s debut graphic novel pays tribute to and pokes fun at beloved romance tropes, delivering a joyous, action-packed world of friendship and adventure.

    President of Delta Gamma sorority, she's aced her major--sociopolitical jewellery design--and is on the verge of becoming Mrs. Warner Huntington III. Too bad Warner, bound for Stanford Law, dumps her with the explanation he needs a more "serious" woman at his side. Faced with this unexpected reversal of fortune, Woods doesn't get depressed, she gets busy.Thanks to a creative application video and a demand for "diversity" at Stanford Law, Elle gets admitted. Soon she's packing her convertible--as well as her pet Chihuahua "Underdog"--and heading north, determined to win back her man. Smart, fast, and funny, Legally Blonde proves how much fun blondes really can have!

    Finbar is tall, skinny, pale and pretty much allergic to the sun - and sadly, teenage girls don't appreciate Finbar's sensitive skin or his sensitive soul. But when a move to a new school converges with a cultural trend romanticising vampires, Finbar seizes the opportunity. He'll become a vampire! Or at least fake it ... to get a date. Wickedly smart and laugh-out-loud funny, this YA debut novel heralds a brilliant career for this new young author.

    But with mischievous and irrepressible Soot, the cockney ghost of a chimney sweep, alongside her, Stella is determined to fight back ... and sometimes a special friend, however different, is all you need to win through.

    He hasn’t grown or had any exciting summer adventures like his best friends have. He even has the same crush he’s harbored for years. So AJ decides to take matters into his own hands. But how could a girl like Nia Winters ever like plain vanilla AJ when she only has eyes for vampires?When AJ and Nia are paired up for a group project on Transylvania, it may be AJ’s chance to win over Nia’s affection by dressing up like the vamp of her dreams. And soon enough he’s got more of Nia’s attention than he bargained for when he learns she’s a slayer.Now AJ has to worry about self-preservation while also trying to save everyone he cares about from a real-life threat lurking in the shadows of Spoons Middle School.

    Take Esther’s father, for instance: He’s an agoraphobe who hasn’t left the basement in six years. Then there’s her twin brother, Eugene, whose fear of the dark goes far beyond the things that go bump in the night. And her mother, Rosemary, is absolutely terrified of bad luck.As for Esther, she’s managed to escape the curse…so far. She doesn’t yet have a great fear because she avoids pretty much everything. Elevators, small spaces, crowds—anything that might trigger a phobia is off-limits and is meticulously recorded in her semi-definitive list of worst nightmares. Esther thinks she has it all figured out, until she’s reunited with an old elementary school classmate—and first crush—Jonah Smallwood. The encounter leaves her stranded at a bus stop and swindled out of her phone, all her cash, a Fruit Roll-Up she’d been saving, and her list—not to mention her dignity. But the theft is also the beginning of an unexpected friendship between the two, one that sends the pair on a journey of self-discovery as they try to break the curse that’s consumed Esther’s family. Together they face their greatest fears, one debilitating phobia at a time, only to discover the one fear they hadn’t counted on: love.

    Her boyfriend is nice and polite, but he's also quick and careless in bed, and doesn't give Alice the attention and variety she craves. But he's not entirely to blame, because Alice herself doesn't understand her own needs. She's heard about what sex is supposed to be like, but has never felt anything remotely close to what she's read about in runaway bestselling books.Then Alice follows a vibrating white rabbit down a deep, dark hole, which leads to a place beyond her wildest imagination. There are no nice boys--or girls--down here. Only those who indulge in secret, forbidden, kinky fantasies. Alice is confused and frightened and... aroused. She is bound. Teased. Spanked. Toyed. Brought to the limits of sexual endurance. And during her trials, she begins to understand her body's needs for the very first time.This isn't the fairy tale you grew up reading. This isn't for children at all.This is for those with dark desires, who wish to explore erotic excess beyond the plain vanilla of everyday life. Follow Alice down the rabbit hole, if you dare...