Or, maybe, we sent a text message to the wrong number, every one of us has sent a text or two we didn’t mean. Phones these days should come with a warning, 'Don't drink and text.' Many of us have been there, a few drinks down, high on life but the bar has closed, and you want to continue the party, consequently ending up with a pile of drunk texts and a feeling of shame.Suddenly your ex, or that girl in the office you have been mildly flirting with and exchanging funny texts with, seems like just the person who would love to join you for one last drink. Tongue out, one eye open, the other squinting with concentration while you jab awkwardly at the screen with your index finger, you marvel at the poetry of a funny drunk text you are capable of when the inhibitions of basic social decency are gone.If you are lucky, there is no reply to your text message fail, and you fall asleep, to awake the next day with nothing but a hangover and a tinge of embarrassment when you realize what you wrote.Either way, these texts messages always end up hilarious and embarrassing, depending on which side you’re on, our text conversion becomes funny beyond any limits, luckily our smartphones have option to capture them as a snapshot. And that is exactly what all of the following people did in order for the rest of us to enjoy what are easily some of the funniest text messages you’ll ever lay your eyes on. So do not hesitate to grab your copy NOW! Go on. Read ’em and laugh. Enjoy

     He had no idea why he was so little when all of the other zombies he met were so big. It did not seem fair to him. But after meeting his zombie mentor, Zeb, he learns that he has special powers that will help him survive in the crazy, amazing world of Minecraft. When he later meets a chicken named Harold, his life seems to have taken a turn for the positive. But, a nighttime raid on a village begins the process that will turn his world upside down.... Baby Zeke the Chicken Jockey series and is a must read for gaming fans everywhere!

    Convinced by his friend Rover that he has lost them, he sets off to find his spots, only to find out that Dalmatians aren’t born with spots and that they all develop at different times. A vividly illustrated picture book, this story is perfect for showing children how everyone develops at different rates. ***Check out the other books in the "Oakley and Bella" series: -When Oakley Met Bella -Oakley and Bella Meet Puss -Oakley and Bella on Holiday

     Steve returns from The Mines. Disclaimer: This book is a work of fanfiction; it is not an official Minecraft book. It is not endorsed, authorized, licensed, sponsored, or supported by Mojang AB, Microsoft Corp. or any other entity owning or controlling rights to the Minecraft name, trademarks or copyrights. Minecraft ®/TM & © 2009-2019 Mojang / Notch / Microsoft

    Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today! Amazon Prime Members can borrow this book for FREE! 151+ funny yo momma jokes Hilarious yo momma insults and humor Hours of funny jokes and entertainment With this MASSIVE collection of funny yo momma jokes you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny yo momma jokes is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh for hours at this funny joke book. Uses for funny jokes... Can aid in story-telling Great for conversation starters Improves conversation and social skills Can make others laugh, smile, and be more playful Can lighten tense moods and create rapport with others Are you looking for funny and hilarious yo momma jokes? Yo momma is so fat… she walked in front of the TV and I missed 3 shows! LOL Yo momma is so old… she knew Burger King while he was still a prince! HAHA Yo momma is so short… she can use a sock for a sleeping bag! Funny Yo Momma Jokes! Yo momma is so tall… she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon! HAHA Yo momma is so poor… she can't afford to pay attention! LOL Yo momma is so stupid… she sold her car for gas money. Funny Yo Momma Jokes! Yo momma is so ugly… that she scares blind people! HAHA Yo momma is so hairy… you almost died of rug burn at birth! LOL Yo momma is so bald… you can see what’s on her mind. This Hilarious Joke Book has 151+ Funny Jokes About... Yo momma is so fat… Yo momma is so skinny… Yo momma is so old… Yo momma is so short… Yo Momma is so tall… Yo momma is so poor… Yo momma is so stupid… Yo momma is so ugly… Yo momma is so hairy… Yo momma is so bald… Yo momma is so lazy… Other yo momma jokes… LOL Funny Jokes Club The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor.

    A vagabond fisherman extraordinaire, the self-indulgent Slacker has just two goals in life. The first is to spend every conscious hour doing only what he loves – hooking and battling big game fish on the ocean by day and hooking up with bar stool sirens at night. The second goal is to avoid any responsibilities that might get in the way of achieving the first. His persistent search for the ultimate angling experience takes him from one ocean paradise to another, where he inevitably becomes entangled in a mystery adventure. His story begins in Key West, Florida, where the 37-year-old Slacker believed he had finally found the ideal life and a lasting home. With his mounted trophies covering the walls of the famous Rusty Hook tavern, he was acclaimed as the best saltwater angler around and never had to pay for a beer. Because every Friday night at the tavern was celebrated with a complimentary banquet of his catch, he also was recognized as a benevolent hero. Through wandering eyes of vacationing ladies, he was typically viewed as "The Catch of the Night." Slacker’s dream lifestyle was attributable to the influence of his best friend and benefactor Jerry Porter, who had landed in Key West aboard his yacht five years earlier. Due to a unique talent for engaging people to talk about themselves while revealing nothing about himself, Jerry quickly bonded with everyone around him. Using those bonds as foundations, he tried to build what he viewed as better and more successful people ... and Slacker was his pet project. The transformation of the Rusty Hook from a local fishermen’s haunt to a Key West landmark was Jerry's crowning achievement. No one had inquired or even speculated much about Jerry Porter’s personal history prior to his arrival in Key West; all were content to revel in his presence. However, when Porter is the victim of a violent death, the traditionally peaceful community is shocked by revelations that there may be a killer in their midst and that perhaps not all of Porter's deeds were worthy of celebration. The charter fishing industry had been losing major clients and perhaps Jerry was the reason for it. A criminal investigation turns up information that damages dozens of families, fractures friendships, and leads to unwelcome national publicity for a town that relies on tourism to fuel the local economy. The police also single out Slacker as the prime suspect, destroying his treasured image among most Islanders, even his closest friends. Exactly who was the mysterious Jerry Porter? How and why did he meet such a violent end? Slacker Mills discovers the answers, and begins to discover himself, in Free Fish Friday.

     Best to know what you're stealing and who you're stealing from. When wannabe criminal Jonathan hears about a life-changing amount of unprotected cash just begging to be stolen, the opportunity is too good to pass up. Problem is he can’t do it alone, so he ropes in a couple of low rent potheads, kicking off a whole bunch of trouble. Can Nuke, a gangster with an explosive temper and marital difficulties, sort out the mess? All while balancing his psychotic bosses, some dodgy cops, his bored wife and of course Jonathan, the man with the plan? SCAM is an exciting romp full of dumb criminals, harebrained schemes, formidable femme fatales and even a sweet love story, all told with a distinctly Australian sensibility. You'll love this gritty crime thriller because the twists and turns will keep you guessing (and laughing) until the very last second. Get it today.

    Mike and his cousin, Salvatore “Sally-Boy” Boccanera are born one minute apart, in the same hospital, and it seems like they’ll never be more than a minute apart the rest of their lives. Their experiences knocking around the city are challenging, funny, touching, and at times disturbing—all of the ingredients that define growing up. Life lessons happen in the Italian bakery Sally-Boy’s father owns, where the boys loll and play, with ears and eyes wide open. But maybe the biggest lesson of all looms over Mike’s father, who’s determined to make drastic changes in pursuit of a better life. Hanging in the balance, at the center of the boys’ tumultuous lives, is the fire escape. It’s a place that is uniquely theirs, and Mike best describes its spell, recalling how it reeks in the rain, blisters in the sun, and ices over in the snow. It’s where he and Sally-Boy talk and think and philosophize and plot and try to understand all they can about themselves and the world.

    This novel is a unique and innovative take on the world of a Bihari youth who breaks many stereotypes. This novel revolves around the character of Rahul (a Bihari) who is living in Mumbai. The narration is filled with crisp humor and a distinctive comic tone which it a pleasant read, whilst delivering a strong social message. The book is authored by Shashikant Mishra and is published by Radhakrishna Prakashan in 2015.Rahul is a common Bihari youth who has been dreaming of living in Mumbai (the city of dreams) ever since his tender years. Hailing from an affluent family, he reaches Mumbai without much hassle. But its not all sunshine and rainbows as he settles down in the film capital of the country!He receives a significant culture shock and it takes ample time for Rahul to get adjusted to the fast paced life of the city. Rahul wants to become a civil servant and hence is preparing for the UPSC exams. He is duly focused on his goal and exam preparation until he gets a girl in his life, Shalu. Now Rahul is faced with the dilemma of choosing one - Shalu or the UPSC exam. What choice is Rahul going to make? Will he go with the love of his life? Or will he sacrifice his life for the sanctity of his professional career? Could there be an option where he can choose both? This is a gripping novel which answers all these questions and more.

    After learning that Tracy has died in a terrible car accident, he is devastated. But after arriving at the restaurant to console his mother, he discovers that Tracy isn’t dead after all – in fact, she is working her shift, and no one else seems to think anything of it. While trying to make sense of the situation, Andrew begins to experience an overwhelming sense of dread: something isn’t right. He needs to decide whether to tell Tracy and risk sounding like a lunatic, or ignore what all his senses are telling him and enjoy what appears to be a second chance.

    It causes him all sorts of problems, such as not being able to sit at the dinner table or fit through doorways. So one night he makes a wish to not be so tall anymore - which, unfortunately, comes true... 'Marvin the Very Tall Bear' is a delightful story aimed at very young children, by the same author who brought to life 'The Hedgehog Who Wanted a Hug'. Filled with simple but colourful illustrations, this short book has all the makings of a firm bedtime favourite.

    She never expected a simple act of kindness would be life altering. Reyan comes into her life threatening to shake up her focus and challenges her resolve. He is everything Vinnie wants in a man and he shows up just when she thought she had everything she needed to stay focused on her life and her goals.Will he crack her titanium tough exterior and get to her heart? Will she let him into her life especially with what she has been through since she was ten? Will she trust Reyan to help her recover from her emotional wounds? Will she get to the bottom of why people think they have seen her at places that she has never been to before. Does she have a doppleganger or a twin?Follow Vinnie's and Reyan's love story as she learns the true meaning of love, trust and family.

     They swore oaths, both personal and professional. They were fighting for country, for a way of life and for family. Classmates carried more than rifles and sabers into battle. They had friendships, memories, children and wives. They had innocence lost, promises broken and glory found. Duty, Honor, Country is history told both epic and personal so we can understand what happened, but more importantly feel the heart-wrenching clash of duty, honor, country and loyalty. And realize that sometimes, the people who changed history, weren’t recorded by it. In the vein of HBO’s Rome miniseries, two fictional characters, Rumble and Cord are standing at many of the major crossroads of our history. Our story starts in 1840, in Benny Havens tavern, just outside post limits of the United States Military Academy. With William Tecumseh Sherman, Rumble, Cord, and Benny Havens’ daughter coming together in a crucible of honor and loyalty. And on post, in the West Point stables, where Ulysses S. Grant and a classmate are preparing to saddle the Hell-Beast, a horse with which Grant would eventually set an academy record, and both make fateful decisions that will change the course of their lives and history. We follow these men forward to the eve of the Mexican War, tracing their steps at West Point and ranging to a plantation at Natchez on the Mississippi, Major Lee at Arlington, and Charleson, SC. We travel aboard the USS Somers and the US Navy mutiny that led to the founding of the Naval Academy at Annapolis. We end with Grant and company in New Orleans, preparing to sale to Mexico and war, and Kit Carson and Fremont at Pilot Peak in Utah during his great expedition west.

    To the local authorities they are random acts of violence, robberies gone wrong. But to Army Ranger Thomas Cole there are too many coincidences. With the unofficial help of a shadowy presence from his past, Tom begins digging and soon discovers the War on Terror is very close to home.

    Everyone but the spaceship’s grumpy XO/navigator. When mysterious Christmas-themed things start happening, can the jaded second-in-command debunk the myth, or will she start to believe in the magic of Santa and the sleigh? Warning: Filled to bursting with humour and Christmas songs you know and love to hate. Get into the spirit of Christmas with the Anvil’s crew in this light-hearted seasonal romp from the author of the Jane Poole Genesis.