Dr. Felix Polk was a married psychologist living in Berkeley, California. At forty years old, he had a successful practice and a towering reputation until he began a scandalous affair with one of his patients- Susan Bolling. She was fifteen years old. A troubled teenage girl. After divorcing his first wife, Felix married Susan. Susan would later claim that her marriage was built on lies, manipulation, and psychological abuse. She tried to divorce Felix, but no settlement could be reached. Susan seemed to believe that Felix had stashed up to $40 million in a secret bank account in the Caribbean. She wanted her half or else. A case that stunned the nation. In October 2002, Felix was found stabbed to death in his own home. Susan insisted she acted in self-defense. But what would a jury think when Susan claiming she was the victim of Felix's manipulation became her own defense attorney? This is the true story of marriage, murder, and mind games.

    He did not crave my company, cling to and cuddle me endlessly. He showed no need to bond with me, his father, and we did not. He exhausted me, he frustrated me and he scared me. I came to dread coming home from work sometimes, or those moments when it was my turn to wrestle him into bed and begin the long struggle to settle him. I said things that will forever haunt me, like “What is wrong with that child?” and “Is he always going to be this annoying?” What I didn't know then was that he was autistic.When that realisation came, so did the beginning of my mission to understand my son, and to understand autism. This book chronicles that search for understanding and answers. It documents one parent’s attempts to come to terms with, and accept, his child. It is raw and real, sometimes confused and frightened but also, I’d like to think, written with warmth and love and an ability to smile through difficult times.This book is for anyone starting out on a pathway with their child that they did not expect. It’s also for people who, like me, are a little further down that road but still learning, still asking questions and still getting it wrong sometimes. You are not alone.