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I Am Funny Like That: A Funny Look At Life
Helen C. Escott - 2016
There are no granny panties in this drawer!He picks up a pair of my NASA engineered favourites and insisted, "These are granny panties."No they are not!" I protested, "Granny panties are cotton, with flowers all over them and come up to your armpits." I grabbed my daily favourites out of his hand, "These are a modern-day wonder! They hide years of not doing sit-ups every day, cellulite dimples, Big Macs with extra sauce and muffin belly! My grandmother never had panties like this!"Call them what you want. They are modern-day granny panties" he informs me.Putting them back in the drawer I thought, "I would have to join a gym if I ever gave these beauties up."Anyway it got me to thinking. So I made a visit to a lingerie store. Maybe my underwear drawer did need some updating.The walls of the store were lined with massive posters of girls who don't eat so they can wear lace without tummy control panels. Looking at their photo-shopped abs didn't inspire me to drop to the floor and do a hundred sit-ups it just made me want to hold them down and force feed them hamburgers.The 20 something sales girl came over with her size 0 figure and asked if I needed help. "I am looking to update my underwear drawer" I tell her, "I am looking for something that is comfortable but... sexy." I know in her head she's thinking "Sex at her age! Wow good for her!"First she shows me the wall of underwear designed to turn on perverts. "No, that's not what I am looking for" and we move along to the "School girl" underwear to turn on pedophiles. "That's not me either" I tell her. Then she shows me the "new" line just in that week with the red or black fur around the waistband. "Doesn't that show through your dress pants?" I ask her. "Oh, you don't wear anything over these ones." That ought to make my work day more interesting I thought to myself.Then she brings out the most dreaded, torturous devise knows to woman... the G-String!I tried a pair once and I looked like a summo wrestler. Even I laughed when I looked in the mirror. It brought back a memory to me. I was doing a two-day course at university. Before the course started the students were standing around the back of the class chatting and getting to know one another. I met this lovely lady who told me she was 60-years-old and was doing the course out of interest. When it was time to sit down, she sat in front of me and to my horror she was wearing low-cut jeans that revealed a tattooed pair of eyes above her butt cheeks but the worst part, she was wearing a silver thong.It was like a car crash, I couldn't look away. For seven hours the droopy eyes on her butt watched me, staring at me, scarring me for life. Every time she put up her hand to ask a question her hips shifted and her butt winked at me. The sliver G-string thread around her waist looked like a disco Hippie headband. I would never be able to look at a G-string without thinking of her butt eye balling me."I don't do fanny-floss" I told her. I need something comfortable. "Maybe you should go to Walmart" she says. "Maybe you should go to hell" I thought in my head.With her sales commission still in my wallet, I left and called hubby from my cell phone in the car."Ok I am willing to compromise. Wh
Searching for Ganesha: Collecting Images of the Sweet-Loving, Elephant-Headed Hindu Deity Everybody Admires
Paul Spencer Sochaczewski - 2021
In this innovative book, Paul Spencer Sochaczewski explores why he collects Ganesha images, examines the psychology of collecting, and recounts personal adventures in his 40-year quest for just one more (but it’s gotta be special) Ganesha statue. He provides enough iconography to give the reader a grounding in Ganesha’s obstacle-removing prowess, but this is neither an academic nor a religious tome. Museum-quality photographs of some 80 statues, carvings, and amulets from his 150-piece collection illustrate how Hindu public relations experts retrofitted Ganesha into the Mahabharata, under what circumstances benevolent Ganesha can be an aggressive crusader, why he loves sweets, what inspiration Hindu branding experts took from nature, and why his “vehicle” is a humble mouse. Why does Sochaczewski appreciate (but not worship) the god? “Ganesha isn’t a stern, don’t-touch-my-hair super-god, and therefore artists can flex their creative muscles when portraying him,” he says. “And simply because he’s cool.”
A Pardon For Tommy
Patricia Nmukoso Enyi - 2017
It holds all of her memories of Hurricane Katrina, memories which she would rather forget. There is one thing that makes her change her mind –Tommy, her beloved pet turkey who watched the destruction of her city from Chelsea’s backpack. It’s Tommy who represents hope and life, and all the good things that a Thanksgiving can bring. A Pardon for Tommy is a story with twists, turns and turkeys. It’s about family, friends and food.
Watchers
Dean Koontz - 1987
One is a magnificent dog of astonishing intelligence. The other, a hybrid monster of a brutally violent nature. And both are on the loose…Bestselling author Dean Koontz presents his most terrifying, dramatic and moving novel: The explosive story of a man and a woman, caught in a relentless storm of mankind’s darkest creation…
The Sweet Gum Tree
Katherine Allred - 2005
But nothing was ordinary about the day she met ten-year-old Nick Anderson, a boy from the wrong side of town. Armed with only a tin of bee balm and steely determination, Alix treats the raw evidence of a recent beating that mars his back, an act that changes both of their lives forever.Through childhood disasters and teenage woes they cling together as friendship turns to love. The future looks rosy until the fateful night when Frank Anderson, Nick's abusive father, is shot to death in his filthy trailer.Suddenly, Nick is gone—leaving Alix alone, confused and pregnant. For the next fifteen years she wrestles with the pain of Nick's abandonment, a bad marriage, her family and friends. But finally, she's starting to get her life back together. Her divorce is almost final, her business is booming, and she's content if not happy—until the day she looks up and sees Nick standing across the counter. He's back…and he's not alone.Once again Alix is plunged into turmoil and pain as Nick tries to win her love, something she resists with all her strength. Only one thing might break the protective wall she's built around her emotions—the truth about Frank Anderson's death. But when that truth comes out and those walls crumble, neither Alix nor Nick is prepared for the emotional explosion that could destroy as well as heal.
Daisy Jones & The Six
Taylor Jenkins ReidTaylor Jenkins Reid - 2019
in the late sixties, sneaking into clubs on the Sunset Strip, sleeping with rock stars, and dreaming of singing at the Whisky a Go-Go. The sex and drugs are thrilling, but it’s the rock and roll she loves most. By the time she’s twenty, her voice is getting noticed, and she has the kind of heedless beauty that makes people do crazy things.Another band getting noticed is The Six, led by the brooding Billy Dunne. On the eve of their first tour, his girlfriend Camila finds out she’s pregnant, and with the pressure of impending fatherhood and fame, Billy goes a little wild on the road.Daisy and Billy cross paths when a producer realizes the key to supercharged success is to put the two together. What happens next will become the stuff of legend.
I Know This Much Is True
Wally Lamb - 1998
. . .One of the most acclaimed novels of our time, Wally Lamb's I Know This Much Is True is a story of alienation and connection, devastation and renewal, at once joyous, heartbreaking, poignant, mystical, and powerfully, profoundly human.
Transcending Depression: Quest Without a Compass
Larry Godwin - 2020
I've been there and have struggled with suicidal thoughts and plans. I can share with you what I did to not only survive, but to tolerate depression, live with it, and function acceptably most of the time, interspersed with periods of contentment, happiness, and joy. My strategies may well work for you. My goal is to save lives. The primary motivation for presenting my history is to encourage others who grapple with either chronic depression or occasional bouts. I hope my journey resonates with some, validates feelings, and sparks the thoughts "I'm not alone" and "I will feel better." This book can also help family members and friends of the mentally ill, and their caregivers, find compassion and enable them to understand the struggle. Transcending Depression differs from many other books on the topic in that it is not grounded in clinical experience, scientific research, or empirical evidence, which may make it more approachable than some. It's not a how-to book, not a model for depressed people to follow, not a toolbox. On the contrary, it shows rather than tells the reader what he or she might do to feel better. Appendices include my Depression Survival Guide, which offers 36 suggestions to bring relief, and Chess in the Labyrinth, a metaphor that compares defeating depression to winning a chess game.
Public Information
Rolf Margenau - 2011
Every indication is that he has limited chances for survival. As an enemy bomber looms overhead, he prays that he can survive a sixteen-month tour of duty without, as his sergeant says, getting his ass shot off.Wylie is recruited to join the staff of a Division Public Information Office (PIO) where he reports on many aspects of the conflict. He uses his infantry training in bloody combat, makes many colorful new friends, learns how to maneuver through the military system, finds love and loss, and grows up in the turmoil of combat and the war’s aftermath.Veterans have hailed the story as accurate, believable, touching, funny, and “the way it really was.” The story is based on the author’s experiences, careful historical research, and the 300 letters he sent his future wife from Korea. He touches on prisoner of war experiences on both sides of the DMZ, the armistice, realistic scenes of combat, the many United Nations forces engaged in the war, and poignant and funny aspects of military service. The second edition of the book includes recently disclosed information, and scenes and observations drawn from the comments of many veteran readers. The book is dedicated to the dwindling number of men and women who risked their lives to preserve democracy in South Korea.
A Sibling in Always
Ernest Gordon Taulbee - 2016
This stylized novel uses mythology as a base for a narrative that examines the nature of life by exploring the ways we die.
Tell Me Your Dreams
Sidney Sheldon - 1998
She had no idea who it could be, who would want to harm her. She was trying desperately not to panic, but lately her sleep had been filled with nightmares, and she had awakened each morning with a feeling of impending doom.Thus begins Sidney Sheldon's chilling new novel, Tell Me Your Dreams. Three beautiful young women are suspected of committing a series of brutal murders. The police make an arrest that leads to one of the most bizarre murder trials of the century. Based on actual events, Sheldon's novel races from London to Rome to the city of Quebec to San Francisco, with a climax that will leave the reader stunned.
The Boys from Brazil
Ira Levin - 1976
Josef Mengele gathers a group of former colleagues for a horrifying project—the creation of the Fourth Reich. Barry Kohler, a young investigative journalist, gets wind of the project and informs famed Nazi hunter Ezra Lieberman, but before he can relay the evidence, Kohler is killed. Thus Ira Levin opens one of the strangest and most masterful novels of his career. Why has Mengele marked a number of harmless aging men for murder? What is the hidden link that binds them? What interest can they possibly hold for their killers: six former SS men dispatched from South America by the most wanted Nazi still alive, the notorious "Angel of Death"? One man alone must answer these questions and stop the killings—Lieberman, himself aging and thought by some to be losing his grip on reality. At the heart of The Boys from Brazil lies a frightening contemporary nightmare, chilling and all too possible.
Blind Pony: As True A Story As I Can Tell
Samantha Hart - 2021
After years of enduring her grandfather's sexual abuse, 14-year-old Samantha Hart runs away from her Pennsylvania family farm in search of her estranged father in Arizona.After a troubling reunion, she flees to the promising lights of La-La Land. Desperate to forget the past, she immerses herself in a spectacle of drugs, decadence, and money in Hollywood.But when a wealthy playboy mistakes her Pittsburgh accent for British, a new spiral of white lies begins, and a new identity is born. Swept to Europe, Samantha floats through champagne parties, sexual adventures, and a whirlwind of international escapades. With a portfolio of nude photos under her arm, she is determined to make something of herself.Will her young, broken spirit find the strength to persevere, to survive the unsurvivable? Will she transcend the temptation to give up in a world that seems so set against her?BLIND PONY: AS TRUE A STORY AS I CAN TELL is the tale of one young woman's unwillingness to accept the circumstances life dealt her, and instead, takes the reins to find success beyond her wildest dreams.
Twisted Love
Wally Runnels - 2016
Julietta Aguilar, a young archaeologist with a dark past shrouded with sordid family secrets, discovers a hidden chamber under the ruins of the Templo Mejor, in the heart of Mexico City. She soon finds herself enmeshed in an ancient mystery even as she tries to solve her father's senseless murder.Now followed by cartel killers, deadly supernatural spirits and thwarted by her own family, her quest for peace seems almost insurmountable - until she meets a man in black with a nefarious background who goes only by one name. Rocky. A fast-paced, gripping read reminiscent of fifties pulp, the characters in Twisted Love offer a dark study in human nature, with all the gory details of unbridled power, soul-searching hatred, strange fetishes, and macabre personalities etched on the reader's mind in searing black and white.