In Savage's funniest, most biting book yet, the nation's fiercest independent thinker invites you to take a riotous tour through The Political Zoo--an outrageous look at today's most prominent politicos and pundits as the reptiles, rats, and birds of prey they most resemble.Animal by animal and cage by cage, Savage brandishes his irreverent wit to keep these beasts in check. Serving as resident biologist and zookeeper, Dr. Savage asks that you watch your step when approaching the widemouth copperhead Ted Turner (also known as Mouthus desouthus), do not feed the ego of stuffed turkey Alec Baldwin (Notalentus anti-americanus), and please keep your children with you at all times around wolf boy Bill Clinton (Fondlem undgropeum)."The world of politics is filled with uncivilized, snarling, rapacious beasts that, like untrained mutts, raise their legs and urinate on everything we hold dear," says Savage. And this sensational book is your guide for navigating the jungle of today's animal-political kingdom.

    If pushed, she'd probably tell you that her perfect wedding would involve a handful of close friends and family. But as she's never met anyone she'd like to marry, it's a moot point.Until, in a midnight garden, Bella is helped out of an embarrassing situation by a tall, dark, handsome man with laughing eyes. And suddenly her life changes for ever, because the man is the world's most eligible bachelor: Prince Richard, heir to the throne.Richard sweeps her off her feet, and before she knows it they're engaged. Which is when Bella's problems really begin. Suddenly she is public property, and as if it isn't enough to have her every move watched - while also learning to curtsy and negotiating the etiquette of how to address her future mother-in-law - she soon finds herself embroiled in bridesmaid politics, a right royal hen night, and a wedding dress controversy that causes a national scandal...Can this ordinary girl survive the preparations for her very own Royal Wedding?

    . . 'Yes. It's only - I'm very fond of Alfred, ' said Laura, taking the plunge and temporarily unaware that almost all wives begin conversations about almost all husbands in precisely the same way."Laura has been married for seven years. On those occasions when an after-dinner snooze behind The Times seems preferable to her riveting conversation about their two small sons, Laura dismisses the notion that Alfred does not understand her, reflecting instead that they are what is called happily married. At thirty-four, Laura wonders if she's ever been in love -- a ridiculous thing to ask oneself. Then Duke Ayland enters her life and that vexing question refuses to remain unanswered . . . With Laura, beset by perplexing decisions about the supper menu, the difficulties of appeasing Nurse, and the necessity of maintaining face within the small village of Quinnerton, E.M. Delafield created her first "Provincial Lady." And in the poignancy of Laura's doubts about her marriage, she presents a dilemma which many women will recognise.

    Steph has bright red hair, tattoos, dark makeup and metal band posters hanging on her side of the room. She has guys in the room, two tattooed guys that make Tessa’s mother very uncomfortable. Tessa’s mother wants her to change dorms immediately but Tessa fights her on it, begging her mother to allow her to stay in the room with Steph, which would impact Tessa’s future more than she could ever know. But, what if Tessa agreed with her mother and changed dorm rooms that day?

    Welcome to "The Hunger But Mainly Death Games," the hilarious Hunger Games parody, and the only book brave enough to suggest that Suzanne Collins's epic trilogy was way more about death than food.Or at least this is what Bratniss Everclean discovers, when she leaves the comforts of Slum 12, Pandumb’s garbage dump, to shortsightedly volunteer for a teenage death tournament. But she soon realizes there are fates worse than death…like weirdly having to date her fellow competitor, and lifelong stalker, Pita Malarkey. Okay, okay, it’s not worse than DEATH, but it’s still pretty annoying.Still, with help from her agent Oofie Triptrip and her mentor, Hagridmitch, who’s pretty sure he can guide Bratniss to victory in the Tri-Wizard Cup, maybe Bratniss will somehow survive this book that she’s the narrator of. “The Hunger But Mainly Death Games” is the perfect book for anyone who’s going through Hunger Games withdrawal and ready for a wonderfully twisted take on their favorite story and characters. This book is also for the unfortunate teens who are trapped in a Hunger Games at this very moment and could really benefit from some levity. We’re here for you, assuming you brought your e-reader into the arena.

    But where did his talent really come from? His adoptive parents cannot tell him -- so, after years of unanswered questions, he does the unthinkable. He breaks training, and runs off to the farmland of his birth, with nothing but a mysterious stone shaped like a snake. Can he use it to unlock his past?

    A tale exploring Marjani's first steps beyond Qilar, when she is dismissed from her home for scandalous behaviour.Marjani's ship is stolen by pirates and, in order to save her own life, she pretends to know the location of great treasure.

    It’s the one-year anniversary of his parents’ deaths, he’s stuck on page one thousand of his Rasputin zombie novel, and he makes his living writing obituaries.But things turn from bleak to terrifying when Dimitri gets a last-minute assignment to cover a séance at the reputedly haunted Aspinwall Mansion.There, Dimitri meets Lisa, a punk-rock drummer he falls hard for. But just as he’s about to ask her out, he unwittingly unleashes malevolent forces, throwing him into a deadly mystery. When Dimitri wakes up, he is in the morgue—icy cold and haunted by a cryptic warning given by a tantalizing female spirit.As town residents begin to turn up gruesomely murdered, Dimitri must play detective in his own story and unravel the connections among his family, the Aspinwall Mansion, the female spirit, and the secrets held in a pair of crumbling antiquarian books. If he doesn’t, it’s quite possible Lisa will be the next victim.

    This book is lyrical, witty, ironical, and touched by nostalgia for childhood. It's a pure delight.

    The problem is that no one believes her. Her talent gets young Samantha in trouble time after time as she grows from a young girl into a teenager. After leading a runaway tiger back to the zoo, she becomes a celebrity. Some think she's a fake. Some worship her. Some hate her. And a rogue government agency wants to use her. Her talent can give the United States a huge jump over other nations, but first she has to stay alive, second she must solve a decades-old, other-worldly enigma and last she has to convince everyone she is truly capable of all the demands being made on her. A novel that adults, young adults and anyone else will find fascinating. Author's preferred edition.

    A month ago I died along with my two best friends in a car crash. Obviously, my death didn't last long. Since then, I hear voices and the nightmares – don’t even get me started. I just wanted to be normal. That meant leaving my lux L.A. life for the gothic, and icy, Saxton Academy in the mountains of Vermont. Away from the tabloids, I had a plan to get my life together. But that just isn't possible. Thanks to hotties Eli McKinnon and Carden McDowell I discovered my life is a lie. They want to help me reach my potential. I just want to be a regular girl. But darkness is coming, and if I want to stay alive, I may not have a choice.

    He's the school's star athlete, in the National Honor Society, invited to every party, contributes to the school paper (where Charlie is co-editor), and is about to be featured as One to Watch in a teen magazine basically, he's exactly the type of guy Charlie s meant to be with. The only problem he barely knows she exists.But Charlie is determined to be Teo's date to the Christmas ball. And she has a plan: To rig the paper's Secret Santa so that she can win his heart with five perfect gifts. But to do that she needs help. Enter J.D. Ortiz Teo s cousin, and possibly the most annoying person on the planet. He's easy going, laid back, unorganized, spontaneous, and makes a joke out of everything the exact opposite of Charlie (and Teo). But he's willing to provide insight into what Teo wants, so she s stuck with him.Yet, the more time Charlie spends with J.D., the more she starts to wonder: Does she really know what, or rather who, she wants for Christmas?

    Until the day that three Elemental soldiers recognize her father as a traitor to the throne and Bree’s father is thrown in jail—along with the secrets from his last mission as the King’s assassin. Secrets that could help the King win a war. Secrets he refuses to share.Desperate to escape before the King’s capricious whims prove her and her father’s downfall, Bree bargains with him: information for their lives. It’s a good trade. And she has faith she’ll get them both out of the King’s grasp with time.But that was before the discovery that she’s the weapon the King’s been waiting for in his war.Now, time is running out. To save her father’s life and understand her own, Bree must unravel the knot of her father’s past before the King takes his life– and uses her to bring a nation to its knees.

    Until a chance encounter with a siren in a red dress changes everything. Until he meets the woman he dubs Red.Veronica Strafford's past makes it hard for her to trust anyone. Now, kicked out of her apartment, she reluctantly accepts Caleb's offer for a place to stay.Caleb feels intensely drawn to Veronica. And, for the first time in his life, he really wants something—someone. Too bad Veronica's heart might just be the one thing Caleb can't win.

    For Keely Staub, her life mostly remained in the latter category. She kept the one true love, music, hidden from even her best friends. But when one song changed the world she lived in, shaking it to it's very core, everything she knows is about to change. Her future and a past even hidden from her collide as she wades through a world she'd never dared to dream of, allowing her half heart to maybe find an equally broken one in the unlikely source of Seth Ryan.