The remaining twenty percent, however, are socially maladjusted psychopaths. WAITER RANT offers the server's unique point of view, replete with tales of customer stupidity, arrogant misbehavior, and unseen bits of human grace transpiring in the most unlikely places. Through outrageous stories, The Waiter reveals the secrets to getting good service, proper tipping etiquette, and how to keep him from spitting in your food. The Waiter also shares his ongoing struggle, at age thirty-eight, to figure out if he can finally leave the first job at which he's really thrived."The other shoe finally drops. The front-of-the-house version of Kitchen Confidential; a painfully funny, excruciatingly true-life account of the waiter's life. As useful as it is entertaining. You will never look at your waiter the same way again�and will never tip less than 20%." --Anthony Bourdain, author of Kitchen Confidential"I really enjoyed WAITER RANT. The book is engaging and funny, a story told from my polar opposite perspective. I will now do my best to act better as a Chef -- and I dare say, I'll never be rude to a waiter again, as long as I live."--John DeLucie, Chef of The Waverly Inn

    Things have changed recently, though. Chris has lost interest in casual flings as he finds himself wrapped up in Sarah Adamson, a waitress at the local strip club he frequents. It takes months of persistent attention before she finally agrees to date him, and he's determined not to mess it up. Just as things are finally going his way, Chris receives a troubled phone call in the middle of the night from Hayden Stryker, his best friend and business partner. Unexpected revelations and the sudden departure of his girlfriend, Tenley, has nearly sent Hayden over the edge. Add in a speeding ticket and an impounded car, and Hayden is balanced on the precipice of a total meltdown. Worried about his friend, Chris sets out on a rescue road trip, first to get Hayden, and then to bring back Tenley. The two men run into unforeseen roadblocks, proving even the best intentions don’t guarantee results. Chris and Hayden return to Chicago empty handed, and Chris is left feeling as if he’s let down all the people who matter, especially Sarah. But Chris discovers that sometimes the best way to deal with failure is to find a way to forget about it. And losing himself in Sarah is the perfect way to do just that.

     And yes, I do realize that I can’t seem to stop these irrational (and slightly impure!) thoughts about Max—Max, my best friend. And I know it’s a risk. You’re right! And I’ll probably never make a move but I so wish that I could get just one kiss from those lips…maybe that would stop the madness once and for all. Anyway, that’s not likely so… Regardless, I’m gonna meet THE one. If Blue never shows up, I’m on a mission to find my Mr. Right and this time I won’t stop until I do. Cross your fingers and say a prayer for me, okay?

    You've let yourself go, so I'm letting you go too."When Edward Middleton hears those words from Jane, his girlfriend of the past ten years, he knows he's in serious trouble. Determined to get her back, Edward must learn how to make women fancy him again. But what makes for a good boyfriend nowadays? Right now, he's the kind of man who puts the 'ex' into 'sexy'. One thing is certain: if he's to be Jane's Mr Right, he needs to turn himself into a bit of all right. From Atkins and Botox, Edward begins working his way through the makeover alphabet. But can cuddly Teddy really become sexy Eddie? Can he rise from the ranks of discarded exes? Or has his journey of self-discovery taken him in a different direction entirely?

    . . until Dottie’s given a free trip to Las Vegas. Second-grade teacher Dottie Gale lives in the tiny town of Quandary, Kansas, which is pretty much smack dab in the middle of nowhere. No mountains. No ocean. No life. Her ex-boyfriend and current school board member, Corbin Lane, cheated on her, making school functions more than a little awkward. But worst of all, a tornado named Maxine Westward rips through Dottie’s school as the new principal and has made her life at work a living hell. When Dottie is chosen to go to a teacher’s conference in Las Vegas, she knows her life is going to change. Driving from Quandary to Vegas, three strangers enter her life. Through a string of situations involving poppies, flying monkeys, and a life-size sculpture of an iconic rock star the four soon become inseparable. So, when Westward arrives on her broom in Vegas, Dottie is ready for battle. Her boss black mails her with stories of incarceration, thievery, and a steamy relationship with her travel companion, but Dottie knows that those who hurl insults shouldn’t hold secrets of their own. Editorial Reviews "I had so much fun reading this and spotting all the clever twists, it was very entertaining. In fact I’m tempted to re-read it, to find more of the subtle hints. I’ve also been to a few of the places mentioned in the book which meant an extra thumbs up for me. I would definitely recommend to readers who enjoy a modern take on a good original oldie." Roses are Amber

    Her days of slaving away at Carrie’s Classic Events and More are numbered as she is on the brink of launching her own event planning company. Her relationship with Luke Price is headed in the right direction and they are approaching their one-year mark. The future is looking bright and she knows that life could not get any better . . . That is until her perfectly planned world is thrown upside down by the unexpected arrival of someone from Luke’s past. She receives the shock of her life on the night of the biggest event of her career. Sienna will now have to pull it all together without a list or a plan. The question is, can she do it?

    But it’s redemption time, and she’s putting on her big girl panties to make sure this year’s bridal festival goes off without a hitch. Even if it means she has to play nice with the man who broke her fairy tale.She’s definitely not the one for him. Or is she...World adventurer and reluctant local hero CJ Blue doesn’t want to be in Bliss anymore than Natalie wants him here. But family obligations have brought him back, and now he’s somehow been roped into saving the town tradition he’d rather forget with the woman whose kiss he can’t forget. She frustrates him and drives him nuts but he's had more fun giving her a hard time about the bridal festival than he has in years.And their fun is just starting...Despite their rocky past, these two wounded souls have more in common than they expect. They’ve both loved and lost, they’ve both tried to move on, and now they’ve both been been banned from the local church confessional after...well, they’re not supposed to talk about it. But by joining forces for the sake of Bliss, they might find the courage and the sparks to risk love one more time.Note: BLISSED was previously published for like 5 minutes many years ago as THE HUSBAND GAMES. Publishers Weekly called it a "Marvelous romantic comedy" in a starred review and named it as a "Self-Published Star" of 2014.

    You can't shoot a guy full of holes after eating chicken and pastry, spoon bread, okra, and tomatoes.What does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce? When daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in their pajama tops and Tweety Bird swim socks. Again.What is the Southern woman's opinion of a new "fat virus" theory? Bring it on! We've got a lot of skinny friends we need to sneeze on.In this wickedly funny follow-up to her bestselling novel Bless Your Heart, Tramp, Celia Rivenbark welcomes you, once again, to the South she loves, the land of "Mama and them," "precious and dahlin'," and mommies who mow. Y'all come back now, you hear?

    Released from the magic pokey and paroled with limited power is enough to make any witch grumpy.However, if you throw in a recently resurrected cat, a lime-green Kia and a sexy egotistical werewolf, it’s enough to make a gal fly off the edge.Not to mention a mission…with no freaking directions.So here I sit in Asscrack, West Virginia trying to figure out how to complete my mysterious mission before All Hallows Eve when I’ll get turned into a mortal.The animals in the area are convinced I’m the Shifter Whisperer (whatever the hell that is) and the hotter-than- asphalt-in-August werewolf thinks I’m his mate.Now apparently I’m slated to save a bunch of hairy freaks of nature?If they think I’m the right witch for the job, they’ve swallowed some bad brew.

    The lush and majestic setting of the Pacific Northwest calls to her and offers a place of refuge and perhaps renewal. Her grandmother has passed away, leaving the Madrona Island Bed & Breakfast Inn to Lily. Left with only an old guestbook as her guide–a curious book full of letters, recipes, and glimpses into her family history–Lily is determined to embrace her newfound independence and recreate herself, one page at a time. With the help of the quirky island residents she has befriended, she slowly finds the strength to seek out happiness on her own terms. But as soon as she has sworn off men and is standing on her own two feet, Lily meets Ian, the alluring artist who lives next door, and her new life is suddenly thrown off course. The last thing she wants to do right now is to open her heart to another man. Ultimately, Lily must decide if it’s worth giving up her soul for security or risking everything to follow her heart.

    The collection includes the following titles: Almost by Elizabeth Benedict, Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum, The Hearts of Horses by Molly Gloss, The Last Chinese Chef by Nicole Mones, The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox by Maggie O'Farrell, and The Magician's Assistant by Ann Patchett.

    He’s built an empire on cool logic and sense — until a chance encounter with Noelle brings out the reckless streak he never knew he had.One night. Two unlikely hearts. No holding back. As the night unfolds, Ash and Noelle discover new passion and adventure, but can their moment of connection last until the morning light? Find out in the sexy, fun new novella from New York Times bestselling author, Melody Grace!

    Clinging on to a career and bringing up her 2 year old daughter leads to nights alone drowning her sorrows in the cheapest white wine she can find. Forced to employ Joel, a male escort, to accompany her to a professionals' dinner, Kate somehow ends up in the middle of a relationship contest, competing for a £100,000 prize alongside someone she barely knows. With her boss, the Lady Dragon Miranda, desperate for Kate to flounder, her tarot card reading child-minder trying to match-make and her ex-husband making her life a misery, can Kate keep her life on an even keel? And more importantly can she put her trust in a serial dater who used to be an underwear model?

    Now that she’s marrying the man of her dreams, she’s sure this is the life she’ll get. Then Marnie meets Blix Holliday, her fiancé’s irascible matchmaking great-aunt who’s dying, and everything changes—just as Blix told her it would.When her marriage ends after two miserable weeks, Marnie is understandably shocked. She’s even more astonished to find that she’s inherited Blix’s Brooklyn brownstone along with all of Blix’s unfinished “projects”: the heartbroken, oddball friends and neighbors running from happiness. Marnie doesn’t believe she’s anything special, but Blix somehow knew she was the perfect person to follow in her matchmaker footsteps.And Blix was also right about some things Marnie must learn the hard way: love is hard to recognize, and the ones who push love away often are the ones who need it most.

    He purchases life insurance, luggage insurance, and always opts for the extended warranty. He's responsible, reliable, and would make any woman a wonderful life partner.In other words, he's the exact opposite of the Masterton clan.Cat's mother has a kitchen gadget fetish, a father whose best friends are taxidermied field mice, and a super stoner man-child brother who lives--where else?--in the basement. Then there's Nan, her proud Scottish grandmother with a proclivity for profanity and mischief.What on earth will Catriona's Normal fiancé think when he comes home with her to meet her parents? What will he think when he discovers his soon-to-be in-laws invited Cat's ex to join them for a holiday dinner?