P. Kelner, editors of Home Improvement: Undead Edition? Your worst school nightmares—taking that math test you never studied for, finding yourself naked in school assembly, not knowing which door to enter—will pale in comparison to these thirteen original stories that take academic anxiety to whole new realms. In #1 New York Times bestselling author Charlaine Harris’s story, "Playing Possum," Sookie Stackhouse brings enough birthday cupcakes for her nephew's entire class but finds she's one short when the angry ex-boyfriend of the school secretary shows up. When her guardian, Kate Daniels, sends her undercover to a school for exceptional children, teenaged Julie learns an all-new definition of "exceptional," in New York Times bestselling author Ilona Andrews's "Magic Tests." For those who like fangs with their forensics, New York Times bestselling author Nancy Holder offers "VSI," in which FBI agent Claire is tested as never before in a school for Vampire Scene Investigation. And in New York Times bestselling author Thomas Sniegoski's "The Bad Hour," Remy Chandler and his dog Marlowe find evil unleashed in an obedience school. You'll need more than an apple to stave off the creatures in these and nine other stories. Remember your first lesson: resistance is fruitless! Includes stories by: ILONA ANDREWS, AMBER BENSON, RHYS BOWEN, MIKE CAREY, CHARLAINE HARRIS, DONALD HARSTAD, STEVE HOCKENSMITH, NANCY HOLDER, FAITH HUNTER, TONI L.P. KELNER, MARJORIE LIU, JONATHAN MABERRY, THOMAS SNIEGOSKI

    NOTE: This story has been re-released in the Dark Bites anthology.Celebrity necromancer Jaime Vegas is headlining a sold-out séance tour, but behind the scenes, a disgruntled ghost has a bone to pick, in Kelley Armstrong's The Ungrateful Dead.Plus tales guaranteed to get under your skin - in a good way - from:* Janet Berliner* Don D'Ammassa* Nancy Holder* Nancy Kilpatrick* J. A. Konrath* F. Paul Wilson* Joe R. Lansdale* Will Ludwigsen* Sharyn McCrumb* Mark Onspaugh* Mike Resnick* Steven Savile* D. L. Snell* Eric James Stone* Jeff Strand* Lucien Soulban* Matt Venne* Christopher WelchSo let the blood flow and laughter reign - because when it comes to facing our deepest, darkest fears, a little humor goes a long way!

    Seriously stressed-out from a nasty incident in an alien tomb, she is obliged to work part-time in Shrimpton’s House of Ancient Horrors, a very low-budget museum. She has a plan to get her career back on track, but it isn’t going well. Stuff keeps happening.Take the dead body that she discovered in one of the sarcophagus exhibits. Who needed that? Finding out that her new client, Emmett London, is one of the most dangerous men in the city isn’t helping matters either. And that’s just today’s list of setbacks. Here in the shadows of the Dead City of Old Cadence, things don’t really heat up until After Dark.

    Venture into a world beyond the ordinary, where the dark passions and voracious appetites of vampires, werewolves, demons, and a few undaunted mortals combine to unleash a potent spell.

     This captivating tattoo theme surrounds each author's popular characters and worlds: Karen Chance's war mage Lia de Croissets, Marjorie M. Liu's demon-hunter Maxine Kiss, Yasmine Galenorn's Otherworld Intelligence Agency operative Camille D'Artigo, and Eileen Wilk's Lupi world.

    Read about the first time Jane put the pedal to the metal in “The Early Years,” and the last thing a werewolf will ever see as Jane delivers justice in “Beneath a Bloody Moon.” Get a searing look into the pasts of some of the series’ best-loved characters: Beast in “WeSa and the Lumber King,” Rick LaFleur in “Cat Tats,” and Molly Everhart Trueblood in “Haints.”   In the brand-new “Cat Fight,” the witches and vampires of Bayou, Oiseau, are at war over a magical talisman—and Jane must figure out how to keep the mysterious artifact out of the covetous hands of the Master of New Orleans. And in the never-before-published “Bound No More,” Jane welcomes a visit from Molly and her daughter, Angie, who is about to prove she’s the most powerful witch in Everhart history....   From the Big Easy to the bad bayou, from the open road to a vampire’s lair—with Jane Yellowrock, it’s always a given: have stakes, will travel.   *New York Times Bestselling Author Kim Harrison

    From a woman who marries into a family of volatile wizards to a couple fleeing a gang of love-hungry cupids, from a girl who seeks sanctuary in the form of a graceful goose to the disgruntled superhero Captain Housework, readers will revel in the many twists and turns of fortune in these fantastical fairy tales and lush parables. Even hardened vampire hunter and zombie animator Anita Blake gets blindsided by the disturbing motives of her clients in the new "Those Who Seek Forgiveness" and in "The Girl Who Was Infatuated with Death."

    He is lured through the portal by pure female beauty, a virgin sacrifice. She is killed, and he is silenced and enslaved.Such a dark ritual is necessary. Unlike their elemental cousins—those gentler sylphs of wind and fire—battlers find no joy in everyday labor. Their magic can destroy an army or demolish a castle, and each has but one goal: find his queen, then protect and pleasure her at any cost. What would a maiden do if she were given such a servant? What would befall that kingdom foolish enough to allow a battler to escape? Young Solie and the people of Eferem are about to find out.

    She releases the Carpathian from his bonds—only to unleash his voracious appetite on herself…“Awaiting Moonrise” by New York Times bestselling author Maggie ShayneA Science professor enters the steamy bayou to find a new species of animal, convinced that its presence is behind the stories of lycanthropy in the region, but finds herself tempted by a legendary creature straight out of her most sensual nightmare…“The Night Owl” by USA Today bestselling author Emma HollyLittle ever seems to stir in the sleepy woods of a small Vermont town, until a new owner takes over the exclusive local inn. He is centuries old and has traveled far and wide to find his queen—and now nothing will stop him from claiming her…“Seduction’s Gift” by New York Times bestselling author Angela KnightAll’s fair in the war between desire and resistance when a lady cop pulls over a speeder—and finds an immortal lover who is determined to seduce her into accepting her own passionate destiny…

    But can beautiful Myst the Coveted accept an enemy vampire as her own? Tehya has spent the last twelve years as an accidental wolf, but is truly a vampire at heart. When she gets injured, Lobo sneaks her inside MoonBound’s headquarters and nurses her back to health…with potentially deadly consequences. Desire collides with danger in “Forsaken by Night,” a MoonBound Clan novella from Larissa Ione! In Gena Showalter’s Otherworld Assassins novella, Dark Swan, Lilica Swan isn’t quite human or otherworlder; she is the best—and worst—of both. She is willing to do whatever proves necessary to save her sister from the seductive and deadly Alien Investigation and Removal agent, Dallas Gutierrez, even bond her life to his…effectively wedding him. But without consummation, the bond will fade. Can Dallas resist his insatiable desire for the powerful beauty? Or will she lead to his ultimate downfall?

    Both Vladlena and Nathan are hiding something, but they can't conceal the lust that simmers between them...Darkness Eternal by Alexandra Ivy: After being held captive by one vampire for four centuries, Kata had no intention of taking another one to the underworld with her. Yet even in the pits of hell, there's no ignoring the intoxicating desire awakened by his touch...Kane by Jacquelyn Frank: Kane knows Corrine was meant to be his . . . just as he knows that truly possessing the lovely human is forbidden. But on the night of the Samhain moon, the beast in every demon in stronger than reason, and Kane's hunger is more powerful than any punishment...Dragon on Top by G.A. Aiken: Escorting the highborn Bram through deadly Sand Dragon territory will try Ghleanna's patience...and her resolve. Bram is determined to enhance the journey with a seduction no female could resist...

    Elrod, Caitlin Kittredge, Marjorie M. Liu, Katie MacAlister, Lilith Saintcrow & Ronda Thompson.What newly married couple doesn't dream of a romantic retreat where they can escape the world for a while — but what happens when supernatural forces intrude on their wedded bliss? Nine of today’s hottest paranormal authors answer that question in this all-star collection of supernatural stories. Can a vampire-hunter enjoy her honeymoon after learning that her new hubby is a werewolf? How can newlyweds focus on their wedding night when their honeymoon suite is haunted by feuding ghosts? And what’s a wizard to do when a gruesome monster kidnaps the bride on her way home from the wedding? With so much otherworldly mayhem awaiting our newlyweds, will they ever get around to the honeymoon itself? Find out in...My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon.Contents:Stalked / Kelley Armstrong --Heorot / Jim Butcher --Roman holiday, or SPQ-arrrrrr / Rachel Caine --Her mother's daughter / P.N. Elrod --Newlydeads / Caitlin Kittredge --Where the heart lives / Marjorie M. Liu --Cat got your tongue? / Katie MacAlister --Half of being married / Lilith Saintcrow --A wulf in groom's clothing / Ronda Thompson.

    Her name is Lilith. Existing for over a thousand years, she has lured countless men to an immortal doom with her soul-stealing kiss. But now, this woman known as vampire will stop at nothing until she rules this world—and those beyond it...Hoyt is no match for the dark siren. But his powers come from the goddess Morrigan, and it is through her that he will get his chance at vengeance. At Morrigan's charge, he must gather five others to form a ring of power strong enough to overcome Lilith. A circle of six: himself, the witch, the warrior, the scholar, the one of many forms and the one he's lost. And it is in this circle, hundreds of years in the future, where Hoyt will learn how strong his spirit—and his heart—have become...Note: This edition includes a "Glossary of Irish Words, Characters and Places" immediately after the story concludes.

    3 Chaotic by Kelley Armstrong - Half-demon Hope is sent to museum gala by mentor Tristan to catch werewolf thief Mateson. 4 Dead Man Dating by Lori Handeland - On their first date, Kit goes too far with Eric, shot by bystander Chávez, then wakes to no blood, no body.

    In "Seeing Eye" by Patricia Briggs, a blind witch helps sexy werewolf Tom Franklin find his missing brother—and helps him in more ways than either of them ever suspected. And in Jim Butcher's "Last Call," wizard Harry Dresden takes on the darkest of dark powers—the ones who dare to mess with this favorite beer.For anyone who's ever wondered what lies beyond the limits of reality, who's imagined the secret spaces where witches wield fearsome magic, come and drink deep. Let yourself fall under the spell of this bewitching collection of short stories!