A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    It's all a long way from his childhood, growing up in a terraced house in post-war Accrington, Lancashire. But cricket has taken him all over the globe, and he has experienced everything from excruciating agony Down Under to the Bollywood glamour of the IPL - he's even risked it all to cross the Pennines into Yorkshire.  In Around the World in 80 Pints, Bumble relives some of the most exciting and remarkable periods in his life, showing how his travels have opened up new and exciting avenues for him. The book is packed full of brilliant stories from famous Ashes matches and Roses clashes, sharing the commentary box with Ian Botham and Shane Warne, and much else besides - all told in his idiosyncratic style that has won him so many fans the world over. His previous autobiography, Last in the Tin Bath, was a huge bestseller, and this one is sure to appeal to anyone who shares Bumble's unquenchable love for cricket - and life!

    We need to know how he sees us. Come on, girl, he says. Let my light shine in. Breathing Eden is forty raw, honest, heartbreaking and encouraging conversations between women and God. These prayers are like our own: full of pain, celebration, anxiety, and joy. Each one helps the reader hear God whisper love and hope into their lives. And after each story, Jennifer offers readers a guided invitation to listen for what God is saying to them. In these pages, readers will find hope and fresh perspectives. It's an invitation to come. Breathe Eden.

    What Dave Barry did for American history in Dave Barry Slept Here and for getting older in Dave Barry Turns Forty, he does for everything else in America! Tupperware ladies, eighties people and leisure-concept salesmen beware: Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe!

    This is Girl on the Net's true story - of falling in love and falling apart. From the honeymoon days of sex whenever and wherever, to the everyday issues that comes with a solid relationship. This is more than a memoir, this is a must-read for all of us who have ever wondered...can great sex and real love ever go hand in hand?

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    This is a world where manufacturers invest millions, and where a rider will emerge from a coma with shattered legs and bloody lungs to get back on his bike to save his job.This is the first book to cover the whole of the MotoGP era, at the centre of which is Valentino Rossi. Ring of Fire charts his rise, fall and rebirth, detailing the darker side to his rivalries with Max Biaggi and Sete Gibernau and his battles with the tax man and the media. This is a warts-and-all portrait with tales of vandalised cars and the racer who wants to torch "the whole goddamn valley". It is a breathless behind-the-scenes look at what makes these riders tick, from double World Superbike champion James Toseland to warring Spanish starlets Jorge Lorenzo and Dani Pedrosa.Rick Broadbent looks back at the sport's tradition of reprobates and debauchery. He introduces us, not just to the stars, but also to the officials, parents, doctors, team owners and fans who make up this white-knuckle sport.By turns funny, sad, shocking and uplifting, Ring of Fire brings us face to face with all those who are bonded by a shared love of risking it all at 200mph.

    Re-introduced to the Tour in 1976, Alpe d’Huez has risen to mythical status, thanks initially to a string of victories by riders from Holland, whose exploits attracted tens of thousands of their compatriots to the climb, which has become known as ‘Dutch mountain’. A snaking 13.8-kilometre ascent rising up through 21 numbered hairpins at an average gradient of 7.8%, Alpe d’Huez is the climb on which every great rider wants to win. Many of the sport’s most famous and now even infamous names have won on the Alpe, including Bernard Hinault, Joop Zoetemelk, Lucho Herrera, Marco Pantani and Lance Armstrong. As well as days of brilliance, there have controversies such as the high-speed and drug-fuelled duels of the EPO years in the 1990s and into the new millennium.  In Alpe d’Huez, veteran cycling journalist Peter Cossins reveals the triumphs, passion and despair behind the great exploits on the Alpe and discloses the untold details that have led to the mountain becoming as important to the Tour as the race is to resort at its summit. It is a tale of man and machine battling against breath-taking terrain for the ultimate prize.

    But for Cubs fans, "never say die" is a way of life. And Kevin Kaduk is no exception-so much so that in a fit of loyalty to his "Lovable Losers," he quit his job as a sportswriter in Kansas City and moved back to the Windy City on a quest to find the heart and soul of what has come to be known as "Wrigleyville"-the idiosyncratic neighborhood that has sprung up around Wrigley Field." This is a rollicking adventure of baseball, blind faith, and America's pastime as it's played in America's heartland.

    Including exclusive interviews with Wenger, former and current players, family, colleagues, and observers from across Japan, France, and England, this completely authorized and definitive biography is a testament to his success and dedication in the field—and to the loyalty of players and fans. This incisive account of the man famous for bringing free-flowing soccer to "boring, boring Arsenal" reveals Wenger as a standout in an industry of disposable contracts and ruthless politics, and is essential reading for fans of the game.

    Book by Jenkins, Dan

    With hilarious anecdotes and irreverent observations, Karo captures the twentysomething experience like never before and answers the question, "Is there life after college?" Featuring the very best of his world-renowned email column as well as brand-new material published here for the first time, Ruminations on Twentysomething Life details Karo's evolution from frat boy to manhood and explores the frenzied lives of a generation living in the strange and unique gap between college and marriage. With his trademark acerbic wit, Karo ruminates on everything from your first day on the job to the last call at the bar. Perfect for students about to get their first dose of reality, twentysomethings procrastinating at work, or anyone who wants to relive their glory days, this book is sure to have readers laughing out loud and nodding their heads in agreement that there is indeed life after college.

    Gilles Villeneuve became a legend in his own time, a driver whose skill and daring personified the ideals of Grand Prix racing, the pinnacle of motor sport.With his flamboyantly aggressive, press-on-regardless style in his scarlet Ferrari, he captured the imagination of a vast international audience as no other driver has in recent times.

    For want of a better term, let's call these people "women."Their urge is understandable. We've all had to take measures to accommodate men, because they are involved in nearly every aspect of modern life except maybe housework and they like to run things like corporate meetings and the planet. The only other alternative has been to try to avoid men altogether, which is pretty hard to do if you are interested in stuff like reproduction or having your oil changed.That's why How to Remodel a Man is so indispensable-it is a clear, step-by-step guide for anyone who wants to alter the character and behavior of a man, written by an actual man. Author W. Bruce Cameron provides startling insight into male pattern thinking, explaining why men can open a refrigerator and not see the mayonnaise, or how it is that they can throw dirty clothes at the hamper or in front of the hamper or even on top of the hamper and yet not seem capable of getting any of it in the hamper. Normally, changing a man has certain obstacles, including, but not limited to, the fact that it is impossible. But Cameron is able to overcome this hindrance because he, himself, has been remodeled. In a move so bold it may be shocking to people unaccustomed to such personal courage, Cameron turned himself over to the women in his life and asked them to change him. It started with a list of his flaws (Cameron came up with four; the women came up with one hundred seventy eight) and ended with him writing How to Remodel a Man, so that others could learn from his experience.If you're a woman, you'll be amazed to learn that men can be trained to perform all sorts of tricks, like using the instruments on the sides of their heads (the ears) to listen to you, and the space between those instruments to think about you.If you're a man, you've been given this book so that you'll see that it's possible to watch television without holding the remote or to ask for directions from strangers without suffering a catastrophic loss of testosterone. Cameron changed, and you can too.How to Remodel a Man is the essential guide for anyone in the awkward position of having to interact with a person of the male gender.

    And it carries through to the vote that made Barack Obama the forty-fourth president of the United States.