Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment.So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

    

    With step-by-step instructions, complete scripts, and expert tips to guide readers, this work gets right down to business - after grounding readers with separate discussions of first the scripting language (PHP) and then the database program (MySQL), it goes on to cover security, sessions and cookies, and using additional Web tools.

    It also gives readers the opportunity to test their understanding with multiple exercises. Readers can test their knowledge of individual concepts, and then test their comprehension of the topic in a larger setting.

    This practical introduction illuminates new features and capabilities, with scenarios demonstrating how the platform can meet the needs of your business.Based on beta software, this book provides the early, high-level information you need to begin preparing now for deployment and management. Topics include:Virtualization and cloud solutions Availability Provisioning and storage management Security and scalability Infrastructure options Server administration

    Also a FREE bonus challenge within. Psychic Empath development to increase your Empath abilities. Are you interested in how you can increase the joy and happiness in your life? Are you currently looking for a way to change your life from within? Are you wondering why you mind continues to change as you meet new people. In this book, it will provide all that and more…Psychic awareness and the understanding of what an Empath is. Learn how to enhance your life, develop your psychic abilities and your intuition as an Empath.Aim to discover your hidden potential within that you have at all times. These abilities are hidden and with this book, you will learn and be able to move forward to strengthen these abilities to achieve an amazing life.Here is what you will get with this book. Common traits of an Empath Surviving emotional vampires. Understanding a Psychic Empath. Shielding and clearing your energy. Empaths have rare and special gift. They are unique, intuitive, creative and most of all, they have the ability to feel what others feel. They are also highly psychic. They can communicate with nature and animals, and receive information from various objects. Many of them can sense the past, present and future states of the environment and the people in it. However, in exchange for these remarkable traits, many empaths suffer from too much negativity and find it difficult to cope with their empathic abilities. Plus a FREE bonus challenge Why should you be interested in this book? This guide also coincides with a consistent meditation practice that combined can greatly benefit the practitioner.Experience a new and higher way to live life to it's fullest daily.This book isn't teaching dogma or telling you something is good or bad for that matter, but it is a practical guide to help use the forces that you cant see to improve your life.Read this book for FREE on Kindle Unlimited - Download Now!

    Instead of wandering through loads of theory, we will understand CSS more practically so that we can design a webpage using CSS. We have used Notepad for the examples in this book. Alternatively, you can also use Notepad++ or any advanced editor. All that you need to do is copy the code and paste it into Notepad. Upon execution, you will get the output as depicted in the screenshots. Screenshots are provided for each sample code. Coding gets better with practice. The examples in this book are compatible with almost every browser. Instead of using the verbatim code, you can modify the code and see the change in the output, thereby understanding the subtle nuances of CSS. By the end of the book, with practice, you can achieve better things and get more acquainted with CSS.

    The emotions of women from different places and their sentiments with these sentiments a new eras story is woven in vivid shades.

    Levitt, co-author of Freakonomics - One of the best books of the year--NatureMary Aiken, the world's leading expert in forensic cyberpsychology, offers a starting point for all future conversations about how the Internet is shaping development and behavior, societal norms and values, children, safety, privacy, and our perception of the world. Drawing on her own research and extensive experience with law enforcement, Aiken covers a wide range of subjects, from the impact of screens on the developing child to the explosion of teen sexting and the acceleration of compulsive and addictive behaviors online. Aiken provides surprising statistics and incredible-but-true case studies of hidden trends that are shaping our culture and raising troubling questions about where the digital revolution is taking us.Praise for The Cyber Effect"How to guide kids in a hyperconnected world is one of the biggest challenges for today's parents. Mary Aiken clearly and calmly separates reality from myth. She clearly lays out the issues we really need to be concerned about and calmly instructs us on how to keep our kids safe and healthy in their digital lives."--Peggy Orenstein, author of the New York Times bestseller Girls & Sex"[A] fresh voice and a uniquely compelling perspective that draws from the murky, fascinating depths of her criminal case file and her insight as a cyber-psychologist . . . This is Aiken's cyber cri de coeur as a forensic scientist, and she wants everyone on the case."--The Washington Post"Fascinating . . . If you have children, stop what you are doing and pick up a copy of The Cyber Effect."--The Times (UK)"An incisive tour of sociotechnology and its discontents."--Nature"Just as Rachel Carson launched the modern environmental movement with her Silent Spring, Mary Aiken delivers a deeply disturbing, utterly penetrating, and urgently timed investigation into the perils of the largest unregulated social experiment of our time."--Bob Woodward"Mary Aiken takes us on a fascinating, thought-provoking, and at times scary journey down the rabbit hole to witness how the Internet is changing the human psyche. A must-read for anyone who wants to understand the temptations and tragedies of cyberspace."--John R. Suler, PhD, author of The Psychology of Cyberspace"Drawing on a fascinating and mind-boggling range of research and knowledge, Mary Aiken has written a great, important book that terrifies then consoles by pointing a way forward so that our experience online might not outstrip our common sense."--Steven D. Levitt"Having worked with law enforcement groups from INTERPOL and Europol as well as the U.S. government, Aiken knows firsthand how today's digital tools can be exploited by criminals lurking in the Internet's Dark Net."--Newsweek

    From Stephen Levy—the author who made "hackers" a household word—comes this account of a revolution that is already affecting every citizen in the twenty-first century. Crypto tells the inside story of how a group of "crypto rebels"—nerds and visionaries turned freedom fighters—teamed up with corporate interests to beat Big Brother and ensure our privacy on the Internet. Levy's history of one of the most controversial and important topics of the digital age reads like the best futuristic fiction.

    The new Mac OS X 10.4, better known as Tiger, is faster than its predecessors, but nothing's too fast for Pogue and Mac OS X: The Missing Manual. There are many reasons why this is the most popular computer book of all time.With its hallmark objectivity, the Tiger Edition thoroughly explores the latest features to grace the Mac OS. Which ones work well and which do not? What should you look for? This book tackles Spotlight, an enhanced search feature that helps you find anything on your computer; iChat AV for videoconferencing; Automator for automating repetitive, manual or batch tasks; and the hundreds of smaller tweaks and changes, good and bad, that Apple's marketing never bothers to mention.Mac OS X: The Missing Manual, Tiger Edition is the authoritative book that's ideal for every user, including people coming to the Mac for the first time. Our guide offers an ideal introduction that demystifies the Dock, the unfamiliar Mac OS X folder structure, and the entirely new Mail application. There are also mini-manuals on iLife applications such as iMovie, iDVD, and iPhoto, those much-heralded digital media programs, and a tutorial for Safari, Mac's own web browser.And plenty more: learn to configure Mac OS X using the System Preferences application, keep your Mac secure with FileVault, and learn about Tiger's enhanced Firewall capabilities. If you're so inclined, this Missing Manual also offers an easy introduction to the Terminal application for issuing basic Unix commands.There's something new on practically every page, and David Pogue brings his celebrated wit and expertise to every one of them. Mac's brought a new cat to town and we have a great new way to tame it.

    You'll be guided through the entire process of creating a gorgeous, usable web site by applying the timeless principles of user-centered design.Even if you're short on design skills, with this book you'll be creating your own stunning web sites in no time at all.Throughout, the focus is on simple and practical techniques that anyone can use - you don't need to have gone to art school or have artistic flair to create stunning designs using the methods outlined in this book.The book's full-color layout and large format (8" x 10") make Sexy Web Design a pleasure to read.Master key web interface design principles Design amazing web interfaces from scratch Create beautiful, yet functional, web sites Unleash your artistic talents And much more Who should read this book? Whether you're completely new to web design, a seasoned pro looking for inspiration, or a developer wanting to improve your sites' aesthetics, there's something for everyone here.How? Because instead of trying to cover every possible area of creating a web site, we've focused purely on the design stage; that is, everything that happens before a single line of code is written.However, great design is more than just aesthetics. Long before we open our graphics program of choice, we'll be conducting research, dealing with clients, responding to briefs, sketching out sitemaps, planning information architecture, moving from doodles to diagrams, exploring different ways of interactivity, and building upon design traditions.But ultimately, you'll be finding out how to create web sites that look drop-dead gorgeous.

    Her lovely singing voice and good looks lead her to her great ambition - to go on the stage and see her name top of the bill. She becomes a music hall star both in her native town and in the south, after an appearance in the theatre at Brighton - she even performs in Paris, to tremendous acclaim. But when her first love, an ambitious shoemaker in her home town, becomes engaged to someone else Poppy is devastated. She disappears, believing that she will never return to her life of stardom. But her fame cannot be kep a secret...

    Ed Smith - the young Cambridge University and Kent batsman - has spent the winters since 1998 in Spring Training with the New York Mets baseball team. It has enabled Ed to contrast and compare arguably the two most iconic of sports from the inside. In fact, baseball had a thriving following in Britain until the Great War: Derby County's former stadium was called the Baseball Ground; Tottenham Hotspur was at first a baseball club. Apart from learning two very different techniques, Ed learned that the sports' ultimate heroes, the Babe and the Don - Babe Ruth and Don Bradman - might as well have come from different planets, whilst baseball's pristine Hall of Fame in Cooperstown is a far cry from the ramshackle cricket museum at Lord's. Ed Smith's PLAYING HARD BALL draws on these intriguing comparisons to paint a two-sided portrait of sports most illustrous 'hitting games'.

    The book comprises chapters on elementary data structures, dynamic programming, backtracking, algebraic problems, lower bound theory, pram algorithms, mesh algorithms, and hypercube algorithms. In addition, the book consists of several real-world examples to understand the concepts better. This book is indispensable for computer engineers preparing for competitive examinations like GATE and IES.