Dying to Be Thin


Nikki Grahame - 2009
    Since leaving the Big Brother house, she had forged a successful career for herself in presenting and writing. Yet Nikki isn’t just another reality television contestant and her life story is not like any other you will ever read. From the age of eight until she was 19, Nikki battled anorexia nervosa—but few cases have been quite as extreme as hers. What she has been through while suffering from this illness will surprise and shock readers. At just seven years old, Nikki began feeling that she was overweight. A remark about her being fat from a fellow pupil at a gymnastics class, along with insecurity brought about by her parents’ separation and her beloved grandfather’s death, were the catalysts for Nikki’s long-term eating disorder. Aged just eight and weighing just under three stone, she was diagnosed as anorexic. For the next eight years, Nikki was in and out of seven institutions, during which time she attempted suicide twice and had to be sedated up to four times a day so that she could be force-fed. At one point, she was sedated for 14 days while doctors sewed a tube into her stomach, through which she was fed in order to get her weight out of the critical range. Nikki admits that she knew every anorexic’s trick in the book: from breaking into hospital kitchens to water down full-fat milk, altering her diet sheet and switching name tags on food to ensure that she received smaller amounts, to even stuffing a door-stop down her trousers before a weigh-in. The extremes that she went to in order to avoid eating and find ways to exercise excessively shocked doctors who have worked in the field for years. As Nikki says, "I’ve always wanted to be the best at everything I do, so I had to be the best anorexic—and I was." This is the heart-rending and powerful story of a girl who lost her childhood but was brave enough to finally admit that she wanted to live again. With searing honesty, Nikki recounts her long and painful road to recovery, how she has had to come to terms with the long-term ramifications of her illness, how she coped with being in the Big Brother house and how she uses her new-found fame to promote awareness of eating disorders and to help those who are suffering from similar problems. This compelling book tells the story of an incredible journey.

Alice in the Looking Glass: A Mother and Daughter's Experience of Anorexia


Jo Kingsley - 2005
    In the first part of the book Jo Davenport writes with raw intensity about Alice's illness and what she hopes is her recovery. At ten, Alice was an easy going, free spirited child with a tremendous sense of humour and adored by everyone who knew her. At eleven, she started to develop her 'rigmaroles' - little rituals which grew into severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - and then, at fourteen, turned into anorexia. Jo describes her journey through what she calls Planet Anorexia, recognising the amazing support she received both professionally and personally and telling of the long periods of despair, guilt, anger and, as the mother of a much-loved child, sheer terror. By opening her heart and writing this book her wish is to pass on her experiences as the mother of an anorexic child, to share all her doubts, failures, anxieties and eventually some successes in the hope of supporting other families going through the same trauma. In the second part of the book Alice, now eighteen and on the road to recovery, also looks back over the past eight years. recovery, other sufferers she met, and her relationship with her mother, friends and siblings. Finally, Jo brings the story up to date and offers guidance and hope to others who love and care for an anorexic child.

Stand Tall Little Girl: Facing Up to Anorexia


Hope Virgo - 2016
    but she will destroy you and everything around you, piece by piece.' - Hope Virgo. For four years, Hope managed to keep it hidden, keeping dark secrets from friends and family. But then, on 17th November 2007, Hope's world changed forever. She was admitted to a mental health hospital. Her skin was yellowing, her heart was failing. She was barely recognizable. Forced to leave her family and friends, the hospital became her home. Over the next year, at her lowest ebb, Hope faced the biggest challenge of her life. She had to find the courage to beat her anorexia. In Stand Tall Little Girl, Hope shares her harrowing, yet truly inspiring, journey.

Biting Anorexia: A Firsthand Account of an Internal War


Lucy Howard-Taylor - 2009
    I am in recovery from anorexia nervosa and major depression, each of which almost killed me.So begins Biting Anorexia, an extraordinary account of a teenage girl's descent into the tortured existence of anorexia and her arduous, remarkable recovery. Much of this unflinchingly candid memoir is ripped directly from the pages of author Lucy Howard-Taylor's diary as she struggled with the torturous condition, offering a rare glimpse into the thoughts and fears that grip the minds of those struggling with anorexia, the most fatal of all psychiatric illnesses.Tinged with a wicked sense of humor, Lucy's beautifully written, penetrating insights capture the overpowering anxiety that comes with anorexia and reveal the challenge of recovery. This courageous and compelling story will inspire and support those troubled with the condition, and their family and friends, the world over.… a graphic yet poetic insight into the pain and suffering experienced by sufferers of eating disorders.—Claire Vickery, CEO and founder of The Butterfly Foundation

Thin


Grace Bowman - 2006
    Until one day, aged 18, she went on a diet. That didn’t stop. Then couldn’t stop. That trapped her in ‘a secret world of eating-related happiness and unhappiness’. And saw her weight swiftly drop to below six stone. A grippingly honest account of life with anorexia nervosa, Thin is Grace’s heartbreaking, shocking and, finally, inspirational story. A memoir that is in part insider’s exposé and in part survivor’s testimony, it explains the struggle for self-discovery, and chronicles the devastating battles waged for control over mind and body. Breaking secrets, Grace shatters the myths surrounding this widely misunderstood illness, helping those bound within the rules of anorexia to find a way out, and those on the outside to understand more.Thin also has resonance beyond the world of eating disorders. For in daring to tell the truth, Grace reveals her extraordinary story to be a common one, reflected in the shape of many of our lives. She draws on the universal themes of female self-image and self-determination, which have inspired such classics as The Bell Jar and A Room of One’s Own, to shatter the myths surrounding anorexia. And the powerful insights she brings to overcoming addiction make this an invaluable narrative for all those looking to find hope and renewal in the acceptance of change and growth.Thin is the most eloquent account of anorexia yet.

Stick Figure


Lori Gottlieb - 1998
    Fortunately, she recorded the journey in her diary, and her story is funny, slyly insightful, and surprisingly universal. A Los Angeles Times bestseller, Lori’s story is being made into a motion picture film by Martin Scorsese’s company, Carpo Productions.

Good Girls Do Swallow: The Darkly Comic True Story of How One Woman Stopped Hating Her Body


Rachael Oakes-Ash - 2001
    She went through anorexia, bulimia, bulimarexia, gym mania, strict dieting and binge eating before she finally she figured out how to stop torturing herself and hating her body. Good Girls Do Swallow is the very black and very funny story of her downfall and her recovery.Rachael might have taken things further than many of us, but this is a story every woman can relate to. You might not have rescued food from the rubbish bin in a moment of binge-madness but if you've ever felt lousy and reached for a chocolate biscuit for comfort, this book is for you.'What the diet promised, I got,' writes Rachael. `I got the body that can wear the clothes. I got the job I love, I got the man I want. But I only got it for keeps when I stopped dieting.' From the Carol Brady Syndrome and Thindarella to Mutiny in Aisle Six, Good Girls Do Swallow tells how she did it.

Perfect: Anorexia & Me


Emily Halban - 2008
    She went on to college at an Ivy League school where her disease took on a powerful dimension. By her final year she was so debilitated that she had to take her exams in a separate room where she could be fed continuously. With heartbreaking candor and poignant intimacy, Emily vividly chronicles the complexities and inner struggles of living with anorexia. She traces her disease from its elusive origins, through its darkest moments of deprivation, guilt, and self-loathing. As she recounts her journey towards recovery, Emily draws us into her raw experience of anorexia, exposing its secrets and dispelling some of the myths that shroud it. Beautifully written and alive with self-awareness, but never self-pity, this inspiring read will offer those battling with this all-consuming disease a glimpse of perspective and hope, and help those on the outside to understand more.

Skinny Boy: A Young Man's Battle and Triumph Over Anorexia


Gary A. Grahl - 2007
    Demonstrating how anyone can win the internal battle between mind and body, this much-needed biography offers therapists, sufferers, and their families with powerful tools to help them triumph over this life and death battle.

How to Disappear Completely: On Modern Anorexia


Kelsey Osgood - 2013
    When she was hospitalized for anorexia at fifteen, she found herself in an existential wormhole: how can one suffer from something one has actively sought out? Through her own decade-long battle with anorexia, which included three lengthy hospitalizations, Osgood harrowingly describes the haunting and competitive world of inpatient facilities populated with other adolescents, some as young as ten years old.With attuned storytelling and unflinching introspection, Kelsey Osgood unpacks the modern myths of anorexia, examining the cult-like underbelly of eating disorders in the young, as she chronicles her own rehabilitation. How to Disappear Completely is a brave, candid and emotionally wrenching memoir that explores the physical, internal, and social ramifications of eating disorders and subverts many of the popularly held notions of the illness and, most hopefully, the path to recovery.

Andrea's Voice: Silenced by Bulimia: Her Story and Her Mother's Journey Through Grief Toward Understanding


Doris Smeltzer - 2006
    But after a one-year struggle with bulimia, she died in her sleep at age 19, catapulting her mother Doris into a wrenching but ultimately rewarding journey of discovery. This unabashed account not only speaks about one family’s tragedy, but also critiques the social and personal attitudes toward our bodies and appearance that create victims like Andrea. Andrea's poetry and journal entries, combined with her mother's reflections, offer insight and understanding about a crushing disorder that afflicts far too many young people.

Unwell


Leslie Lipton - 2006
    Ms. Lipton conveys a touching portrayal of the struggles involved with trying to overcome this illness." -Cynthia R. Pegler, MD, Adolescent Medicine Specialist "A riveting and sensitive journey into the world of a teenage girl plagued by Anorexia Nervosa. A detailed, realistic account of the internal struggles and conflicts that exist in the mind of someone with an eating disorder. An important book to read for anyone dealing with a loved one with anorexia." -Jane Karp, MD Psychiatrist "Lipton's 'Unwell' is extremely well written and invites the reader into the candid journey of an eating disordered girl and her thoughts. This is a valuable read for parents as they try to understand this complicated illness from the inside out." -Lynn Grefe CEO, National Eating Disorders Association

Safety in Numbers: From 56 to 221 Pounds, My Battle with Eating Disorders


Brittany Burgunder - 2016
    Your parents are planning your funeral, and you are given little chance to live. Fast-forward one year. You are now 221 pounds and obese.Safety in Numbers: From 56 to 221 Pounds, My Battle with Eating Disorders is Brittany Burgunder’s raw and captivating memoir of her 10-year battle with three forms of severe eating disorders—anorexia, binge eating, and bulimia. Taken from her extensive journals, she shares her uncensored and disturbing story of fear, sadness, chaos, disbelief and darkness. In the end, though, her first-person account gives a message of hope and triumph. Safety in Numbers is a brutally honest and unique account highlighting a profound struggle at both ends of the weight spectrum with eating disorders. Brittany’s battle shows that a happy and healthy life is possible no matter how hopeless the situation may seem. It provides a firsthand look into an unthinkable journey that will mesmerize, move, and inspire readers. Ultimately, it is a story of survival and strength—no matter what the struggle.

Diary of an Exercise Addict


Peach Friedman - 2008
    Running ten miles a day and taking in as little as 800 calories, she fell from 146 pounds to 100 in three months and was at serious risk of cardiac arrest. What Friedman suffered from was exercise bulimia--a newly diagnosed and rapidly spreading eating disorder that affects some 400,000 American women, and which gyms and colleges across America are beginning to take seriously. In Diary of an Exercise Addict Friedman recounts her descent into a life-threatening illness, her remarkable recovery, and the setbacks along the way. With refreshing candor she lays bare her relationships with family, friends, and lovers and the repressed desire that finally surfaced as she found her own way back to health.

The Anorexia Diaries: A Mother and Daughter's Triumph Over Teenage Eating Disorders


Linda Rio - 2003
    I thought for sure she would know what I was doing to myself. How could a mother not know the terrible things her daughter was doing?""Tara seems fine these last few days. The questions she asked me the other night scared me. But now I think she's just curious. Maybe one of her friends is having a problem with something."Mother and daughter, living in the same house, yet at times it seems as though they are on different planets. Tara, growing obsessive about the way she looks, feels her mom no longer understands her. Linda, while concerned about the changes her teenage daughter is going through, is focused on making a career for herself as a family therapist. Neither knows how to reverse the terrible path that Tara is heading down.Tara's and Linda's side-by-side diaries of this difficult time, only shared with each other years later, show both sides of their maddening ordeal and inspiring victory to keep their family together.In addition to sharing their actual diaries, Tara and Linda look back on the drama of those years to offer the wisdom and perspective that can only come with hindsight. Craig Johnson, Ph.D., an international leader in the research and treatment of eating disorders, offers useful advice and fascinating commentary on the Rios' story to inform today's families who may be going through similar situations.