He keeps "one up, one down and one pending" until unexpected schedule changes bring all three to Paris and Bernard's apartment at the same time.

    without a script. But this isn't a problem until by random stroke of fate the mega-famous Hollywood diva Jennifer Roberts announces on American primetime television that Constance is writing her next movie. But this is news to Constance; how the hell did that happen? She is jettisoned to fame overnight and faces a race against time to write the script. With the help of an unscrupulous 'agent' and a hostile ghost writer, Constance battles her way to Hollywood through the onslaught of social media, trolls, a philandering boyfriend, and leaked naked photographs... Social media paves the way for an unknown scriptwriter in a comedy of misunderstandings and miscreants, and finally an ounce of good luck.

    She’s landed an internship with the fabulous Selah Smith, event planner for the Hollywood elite, taking her from small-town Texas to the bright lights of LA. Landon soon finds herself in a world in which spending a million dollars on an event—even a child’s birthday party—is de rigueur and the whims of celebrity clients are life-and-death matters. At first, the thrill of working on A-list parties and celebrity weddings is enough to get Landon through the seventy-five-hour workweeks and endless abuse at the hands of her mercurial boss. But when the reality of the business reveals itself, she’s forced to make a choice: do whatever it takes to get ahead, or stay true to herself.Drawing on the author’s real-life experiences as an event planner to the stars, Party Girl takes readers on an adventure among Hollywood’s most beautiful—and most outrageous—people, revealing the ugly side of Hollywood’s prettiest parties.

    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

    Cherry Paget's is a Chihuahua.Cherry was young, beautiful and rich-just golden enough to imagine that she had the world by the balls. Death was the furthest thing from her mind. But even a morbid obsession with the afterlife could not have prepared her for what happened.Chihuahua Karma chronicles the horrendous consequences of Cherry's bad choices. She trades love for a Black American Express card. She dumps veterinarian, Richard Preston, to marry gangster, Larry Finkelstein. And, when a smudge of magenta lipstick confirms that Larry is cheating she washes down a fist-full of Vicoden with a bottle of wine for breakfast. That mistake is the beginning of her problems.In an inebriated attempt at tanning, Cherry plunges from the terrace of her penthouse to the street below. She escapes extinction only to encounter a more complicated fate. Cherry regains consciousness trapped inside the body of a very tiny dog.Cherry's diminutive prison is a mini Chi named Sugar. The Lucky Dream Dry Cleaners is her dismal new home. With the unwitting assistance of her former housekeeper, Cherry escapes the dirty clothes and cotton dust. Once again ensconced in Larry's luxurious penthouse, she becomes his girlfriend's prized purse-buddy.In her diminished state, Cherry finds new perspective. She yearns for Richard. And she forms an unlikely alliance with Don Paco Fernandez, a temperamental ghost with a taste for tequila and pretty ladies. Through Don Paco, Cherry discovers that only she can save an orphaned child from her impending adoption by a sinister couple. The cast of off-beat characters collides, and Cherry meets her destiny at a casino night Christmas party.Chihuahua Karma could easily share a shelf with humorous fiction like the Devil Wears Prada and the Nanny Diaries. Sugars fans include women who love fashion, passion and small dogs and any reader who enjoys unraveling a quirky plot to its surprising conclusion.Debby Rice is a writer from Chicago. She has spent time in Mexico City, San Miguel Allende, New Orleans and San Francisco, and her experiences in those cities color her work. Rice blurs the distinctions between fantasy and reality and immerses her readers in a vividly imagined new world.

    Living in Bangalore with her best friend, Farida, and working as the social media head of a software firm, she's weighed down by the thought of becoming a responsible thirty-year-old. To add to this, sge also has to fend off her nother's persistent queries about when she intends to get married. Things begin to look up when Priya bumps into her charming new neighbour, Ajay. Sparks fly, but she soon finds out that he's a widower who has some baggage to deal with.Thabkfully, Priya finds comfort in the fact that her friends Farida, Mini and Namrata are approaching the three-O milestone too. Free-spirited Farida, shy Namrata, feisty Mini and Priya are brought together by family drama, boy trouble, and their fast-approachung birthdays. As they navigate love and friendships, they realise there's a difference between growing up and growing old....

    Ali” to friends and family. Janelle Jennings: a forty-nine-year-old bestselling romance author, Botox-stuffed narcissist, four-time ex-wife (but who’s counting?), and all-around spoiled brat. What could these two possibly have in common? Uncork the wine. Bring out the calming chocolate. Ali Lawrence’s diva sister, Janelle Jennings, is making an unexpected visit to their hometown of Willoughby, Georgia, and Ali needs help. Since they were schoolgirls, Ali has suffered ridicule and criticism from her prom queen, beauty pageant older sister, whom their mother still coddles at Ali’s expense. Ali is suspicious of her sister’s motives for visiting Willoughby, and especially her odd behavior and uncharacteristically long stay. Something’s not quite right, and Ali is both curious and concerned. During this visit, Ali vows to stop being a bitter doormat and stand up to Janelle. But when Ali discovers a secret that has the potential to destroy Janelle’s career and tarnish her reputation, will she expose her sister, or, for the sake of family unity, will she protect her? Can the sisters finally come to terms with each other, admire their achievements, and ignore their faults, or will their relationship continue to disintegrate, bringing bedlam to Willoughby in the process? Someone has to take the first step: Will it be Janelle in her stepladder stilettos or Ali in her ratty, old running shoes?

    Wait a minute. You’re confused. What are fucks, you ask? It’s quite simple, really. Fucks are her self-esteem; all the happy, sad and wonderful thoughts that sit in her basket. That sit in every girl’s basket! And every girl must give these fucks away every time someone asks. One day Elodie-Rose decides to break rank and find out what happens if those fucks stay where they are...

    It rings the cosmic gong on so many levels, turns so many stereotypes inside out, one scarcely knows what to do but hold on and enjoy the ride. And enjoy it I did." —TOM ROBBINSAcclaimed for his surreal, satirical vision and his “consistently dazzling” (Kirkus Reviews) writing style, cult favorite Tony Vigorito stretches the boundaries of storytelling beyond all limits with his long-awaited third novel. A quest to find the treasure of all treasures launches this swashbuckling tale of romance and high adventure across three centuries and takes you on a hilarious and visionary journey that includes lovers, pirates, bank robbers, treasure maps, yoga cults, love potions, assassins, con artists, quicksand, smugglers, and rock-paper-scissors. Welcome to the “incomparable imagination” (Minneapolis Books Examiner) of a Tony Vigorito novel. And beware the meadow of marvels... "A masterful story..." —Seattle Book Review"Opening with a satire of the Adam and Eve story, this book moves seamlessly back and forth between eighteenth century Caribbean pirates with a treasure map and twenty-first century San Franciscans contending with a false New Age prophet. The author controls these seemingly disparate scenarios with humor and panache, creating such memorable characters as a guardian parrot, a bumbling true believer, and a herd of cowbell-wearing bison somehow relocated to a tropical island. This is a deeply original and satisfying book." —BookLife

    What Dave Barry did for American history in Dave Barry Slept Here and for getting older in Dave Barry Turns Forty, he does for everything else in America! Tupperware ladies, eighties people and leisure-concept salesmen beware: Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe!

    Beginning on January 1, this book features 365 new holidays, each accompanied by a strange, dark and humorous short story explaining the day you woke up in and how to celebrate it. These 365 daily doses of delight, perversion, and nonsense include Hire Someone Attractive To Pretend To Love You Day, Hang on to Your Wide-Eyed Innocence Day, Sit in Abject Terror Day, and, of course, Cruelty Day.Far more than just a humor book, Happy Cruelty Day! is like a daily instructional manual written by a psychopath. On one page, the book has you joining a community crime watch group in an effort to make friends (it won't work). Flip the page, and you'll find the details of your attempt to rescue your husband from a POW camp (you'll fail). Flip it again, and Happy Cruelty Day! will have important insight into how best to befriend a runaway teen (offer her some soup).These holidays celebrate everything from that pivotal point in your life when everything changes, to the day you're not going to do anything but sit on the edge of your bed and get very drunk. When people realize they've fallen in love, or when they realize their love was just a lie. And of course, when love of whatever incarnation brings an index finger to clench tight around the trigger of a gun.Raw, ridiculous, and laugh-out-loud funny, this is a sharp-edged satire on the subtleties, shallowness, and stupidity of daily life.

    Open at your own risk. Sarah and Tommy have the same kinds of problems as most any ten-year-old girl and six-year-old boy. Homework, bullies, Dad not going in to work since Mom ran off to fuck the postman. That sort of thing. But they're not going to take their problems lying down. After a quick bus ride into town to buy a gun, they think their problems are all but solved. That is, until a creepy weirdo follows them into an alley. But they aren't the only ones in that alley. What they discover will make you soil your pants in terror. It will make your skin crawl. It might even give you... Shingles.

    In this "terminally irreverent" ( "Richmond News-Leader" ) novel, he finds himself taking on everyone from his editor and his girlfriend to the fundamentalists and vegetarians covered on his beat - and along the way, learns some surprising (and hilarious) lessons about life, love, and the press. • Welter's "I Want to Buy a Vowel," also a Berkley Signature Edition, was named one of "Booklist's" Best Books of 1996. • Great reviews in the Berkley Signature Edition tradition. • The author has been compared to everyone from John Irving to Jonathan Swift, Frank Capra to Carl Hiaasen, John Kennedy Toole to Dave Barry.

    Kristen Buckley takes readers into the little-watched-but soon-to-be prime time-life of TV junkie Parker Grey...with no commercial interruptions. When she isn't waiting tables, Parker Grey doesn't have much to do except watch reruns of her favorite medical drama and fantasize about its star. In fact, sometimes she feels like her life is one big TV show-one she'd channel-surf right past. But now Parker's roommate, Lil, has disappeared. Knowing she's a lot better at watching drama than creating it, Parker turns to TV for help. Inspired by the sexy star of "La Femme Nikita," she takes to the streets of Manhattan. To find Lil. And to start writing a whole new script for her life.

    I ended my day with a bottle of tequila. I'll let you connect the dots.Somehow, I wound up working as a waitress at an Italian restaurant. I have no idea what I'm doing. And I'm not just talkin' about life.This should be interesting.Previously published as Tales of a New York Waitress