And the past couple of years have shown that this annoying never stops. To give just three examples:After a mid-Atlantic collision between French and British nuclear submarines, France's Minister of Defence seemed to blame the accident on ... shrimps.When French political superstar Dominique Strauss-Kahn was arrested in New York, France's establishment was outraged. It soon emerged that sexual harassment was regarded as a basic human right by the country's male �lite. (This theme provided so much excellent material that I decided to include it in the plot of my soon-to-be published novel, The Merde Factor.)And when David Cameron walked out of a Eurosummit, a French politician accused him of being 'like a man at a wife-swapping party who refuses to bring his own wife.' Yes, a very French image, and it just one of the many anti-Anglais insults that came flying across the Channel.You will find all this, and much more, in Annoying the French Encore! Because, for the French, the merde never ends.Yours historically,Stephen Clarke, Paris, August 2012'Tremendously entertaining' Sunday Times'Relentlessly and energetically rude' Mail on Sunday

    Though her own circumstances remain indistinct, she becomes the audience to a chain of narratives, as the people she meets tell her one after another the stories of their lives.Beginning with the neighbouring passenger on the flight out and his tales of fast boats and failed marriages, the storytellers talk of their loves and ambitions and pains, their anxieties, their perceptions and daily lives. In the stifling heat and noise of the city the sequence of voice begins to weave a complex human tapestry. The more they talk the more elliptical their listener becomes, as she shapes and directs their accounts until certain themes begin to emerge: the experience of loss, the nature of family life, the difficulty of intimacy and the mystery of creativity itself.Outline is a novel about writing and talking, about self-effacement and self-expression, about the desire to create and the human art of self-portraiture in which that desire finds its universal form.

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    Growing up, he's raised by a promiscuous mother who can't stay out of trouble, his best friend is a thirteen-year-old alcoholic, and the masters at his tough Scottish school are always raising their canes in his direction. When he becomes an adult, he escapes, and chooses the safe route, watching the world from a distance.Everything changes the day he meets the beautiful, alluring, green-eyed Heather, and when he learns of Heather's own abusive childhood and the horrific secret she's been carrying, Malcolm decides to help her. And, this time he's not backing down, whatever the cost.

    And the most respected of these is the code of silence. For the first time, a hockey player is prepared to reveal what really goes on in the NHL, in the spirit of what Ball Four did for baseball. The money, the personalities, the adultery, and the drugs--and also the little things that make up daily life in the league. Most athletes have little to say, but Sean doesn't have that problem. Yes, he tells us about the guys he's fought and the guys he's partied with, and he tells us where to find the best cougar bars in various NHL cities and what it's like to be hounded by the media when you're dating a celebrity. But Sean's job on the ice was always to get inside the heads of the guys he played against, and that insight on human nature is on full display in Offside.What makes millionaire athletes tick? What are their weaknesses? And in the end, what makes Sean Avery--once called the most hated player in the NHL--who he is? What is it like to make people hate you for a living? Sean Avery's misdeeds on and off the ice are well-documented, and he certainly has his detractors. But on the other hand, he has a lot of supporters, in part for things like being the first North American athlete to come out in favour of marriage equality, and in part just for being an interesting guy. Love him or hate him, he is one of the best-known players of the past few decades, and certainly one of the most colourful and outspoken. In Offside, he meets his accusers head-on, and gives them something to think about.

    The inside story of Bradley Wiggins's record-breaking rideFor 60 minutes this summer, the British public stopped what they were doing, switched on their radios, their TVs, refreshed their Twitter feeds and followed Bradley Wiggins’s attempt to break one of sport’s most gruelling records: The Hour.The premise is simple enough: how far can you cycle in one hour. But it is thought to be one of the toughest events an athlete can endure, both physically and psychologically. Eddy Merckx, cycling’s über-champ, called it the hardest thing he ever did. Wiggins, like many before him, discovered the unique pain of pushing yourself as hard as you can for 60 minutes.In this revealing book, Bradley Wiggins takes you behind the scenes of his record attempt. From planning to preparation, to training to execution, Bradley shares his thoughts on his sacrifices, his heroes, and the people who have supported him along the way as well as what’s to come as he heads towards the twilight of his stellar career.Supported by stunning photography, My Hour is a fitting celebration of one of Britain’s best-loved sportsmen in his finest hour.

     Joanna Anthony is a dedicated Nursery staff nurse at St Gregory’s Hospital. The nurses and doctors share laughter and tears as they tend to the mothers and babies in their care. There is time for romance, too. After five years together, is ambitious Dr Richard Everley finally ready to settle down with Joanna? And what of the two other young doctors who have more than a professional interest in her? It takes a serious illness for Joanna to understand where, and with whom, her future really lies. This engaging story of the everyday experiences of a 1950s nurse, vividly brings to life the colourful characters, drama, love and loss to be found on a hospital ward. The Print Petticoat is the first novel of the bestselling hospital fiction author Lucilla Andrews. For the first time, Lucilla's novels are now available as ebooks. More at www.lucillaandrews.com

     All the best,Kerry and Kurtanp.s. Kurtan wants to make it clear that although this newsletter is in book format it does not make him any of the following:Book WormBook bummerBoffinNerd alertThe lion, the witch and the book wormp.p.s If you don't buy this newsletter that's fine, but we are getting a percent of the profits to donate to the Kerry Mucklowe eating fund, so if you don't buy it I'll basically starve. Which is fine if your conscience can deal with that utter headf***.

    Finally, the experiences of loss which have haunted her psyche since childhood manifest themselves physically when she discovers the washed-up body of a child on the beach. It vanishes with the next wave - did she imagine it?

    Suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, and unable to face a return to his family home in rural Nova Scotia, he goes in search of freedom, change, anonymity and repair. We follow Walker through a sequence of poems as he moves through post-war American cities of New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco.

    But how will they respond when love seems to blossom between local man Gavin Hamilton and the beautiful pearl-fisher Effie? The Pearl-fishers is a classic love story and the master storyteller’s last novel.

    She had just graduated from university; she had a shiny new flat, her first proper job and a budding relationship – and they were all making her utterly miserable. Sitting at work one day, she hit upon the obvious solution:Run 5,000 miles around the coast of Britain, carrying her kit on her back.Six months later Elise set off, with absolutely no ultra-running experience, unable to read a map and having never pitched a tent alone before. Over the 301 days that followed she developed a debilitating fear of farmyard animals, cried on a lot of beaches and saw Britain at its most wild and wonderful.Coasting is about putting one foot in front of the other, even when it feels impossible, and trying to enjoy it too. With heart and humour, Elise explores the thrill of taking risks and putting your trust in total strangers, and learns some home truths along the way.

    

    The graphic nature of the crime has sent shock waves throughout the country, gluing millions to the twenty-four hour rolling news coverage. Dean Baker, of Eltham in south London, is no different. Unbeknownst to him that evening spent in front of the telly with his wife and dog would be the last ordinary night of his life. Dean's world is turned upside down when he is attacked by his neighbour. Only then does he realise the true nature of what is happening to the world. Dead South is Dean's first person account of the life and death struggle he faces to protect his family from the zombies and the new world that they have brought with them.

    Recently, as the 800th anniversary of the Magna Carta approaches, the historic document he was responsible for writing and enacting, his life has sparked renewed interest. It is a saga that reads like a Hollywood script.He rose from the ranks of minor knights by deeds that seem to be unbelievable and yet historians tell us they did occur. In an age where a few ill chosen words could lead to a death sentence he spoke his mind and survived to be hated and loved by some of the greatest personalities the medieval age produced. He was a champion of the tournaments and set records that were never broken or even approached by other knights. His unswerving loyalty, commitment to honor, and legendary skill set him apart from the other great men of the age, who would change sides whenever the political winds shifted direction. He was a man's man and a woman's ideal. His story begs to be told and his named spoken with reverence whenever the discussion turns to great knights.Return to the time of Eleanor of Aquitaine, Henry II, Richard the Lionhearted and John. Meet them as they were and the man they loved and hated, who survived them all, and set England on the road to democracy. Intrigue and treachery rule the day as a man of unmatched skill and honor rises from humble origins and inspires a nation destined to become the cradle of democracy. The story, chronicled by an unknown troubadour in the 13th century, is brought to life once again. Come now and Behold the Marshal!