Or, maybe, we sent a text message to the wrong number, every one of us has sent a text or two we didn’t mean. Phones these days should come with a warning, 'Don't drink and text.' Many of us have been there, a few drinks down, high on life but the bar has closed, and you want to continue the party, consequently ending up with a pile of drunk texts and a feeling of shame.Suddenly your ex, or that girl in the office you have been mildly flirting with and exchanging funny texts with, seems like just the person who would love to join you for one last drink. Tongue out, one eye open, the other squinting with concentration while you jab awkwardly at the screen with your index finger, you marvel at the poetry of a funny drunk text you are capable of when the inhibitions of basic social decency are gone.If you are lucky, there is no reply to your text message fail, and you fall asleep, to awake the next day with nothing but a hangover and a tinge of embarrassment when you realize what you wrote.Either way, these texts messages always end up hilarious and embarrassing, depending on which side you’re on, our text conversion becomes funny beyond any limits, luckily our smartphones have option to capture them as a snapshot. And that is exactly what all of the following people did in order for the rest of us to enjoy what are easily some of the funniest text messages you’ll ever lay your eyes on. So do not hesitate to grab your copy NOW! Go on. Read ’em and laugh. Enjoy

    Geared to what today's students need to know, SparkNotes provides chapter-by-chapter analysis; explanations of key themes, motifs, and symbols; and a review quiz and essay topics. Lively and accessible, these guides are perfect for late-night studying and writing papers.

    There, one man and his five brilliant sons made their fortune as court agents to a royal prince. It would take Napoleon’s earth-shattering quest to conquer Europe to scatter the five brothers to the four winds, but when the dust of war settled, there was a Rothschild brother and a Rothschild bank in five cities: London, Paris, Frankfurt, Naples, and Vienna. The era of haute finance had begun, and the legend of a banking dynasty more powerful than any royal family in history was established. In this book, you will follow the progress of the Rothschild family through the centuries. Their ranks included not only bankers and financiers but doctors, scientists, bomb experts, and collectors who amassed not only some of the finest art collections in Europe, but also one of the finest bug collections. Find out for yourself how the Rothschilds prevented wars, crowned and uncrowned kings, helped win the battle of Waterloo, looked down their noses at Nazis, and established a Jewish homeland in Palestine.

    But six weeks later, a second examination revealed there was no cancer -- he had won "a reprieve from death." Faced with a repressive cultural environment and the threat of a spell in a prison farm, Gao fled Beijing and began a journey of 15,000 kilometers into the remote mountains and ancient forests of Sichuan in southwest China. The result of this epic voyage of discovery is Soul Mountain.Bold, lyrical, and prodigious, Soul Mountain probes the human soul with an uncommon directness and candor and delights in the freedom of the imagination to expand the notion of the individual self.

    A profoundly wise and humorous rendering of the classic Chinese text on military strategy, as told through the delightful Chinese cartoon panels of best-selling author Tsai Chih Chung.

    Before long, the shogun surrendered to the emperor, a new constitution was adopted, and Japan emerged as a modern, industrialized state.Despite the length of his reign, little has been written about the strangely obscured figure of Meiji himself, the first emperor ever to meet a European. Most historians discuss the period that takes his name while barely mentioning the man, assuming that he had no real involvement in affairs of state. Even Japanese who believe Meiji to have been their nation's greatest ruler may have trouble recalling a single personal accomplishment that might account for such a glorious reputation. Renowned Japan scholar Donald Keene sifts the available evidence to present a rich portrait not only of Meiji but also of rapid and sometimes violent change during this pivotal period in Japan's history.In this vivid and engrossing biography, we move with the emperor through his early, traditional education; join in the formal processions that acquainted the young emperor with his country and its people; observe his behavior in court, his marriage, and his relationships with various consorts; and follow his maturation into a "Confucian" sovereign dedicated to simplicity, frugality, and hard work. Later, during Japan's wars with China and Russia, we witness Meiji's struggle to reconcile his personal commitment to peace and his nation's increasingly militarized experience of modernization. Emperor of Japan conveys in sparkling prose the complexity of the man and offers an unrivaled portrait of Japan in a period of unique interest.

    Xinran made the trip and met the woman, called Shu Wen, who recounted the story of her thirty-year odyssey in the vast landscape of Tibet.Shu Wen and her husband had been married for only a few months in the 1950s when he joined the Chinese army and was sent to Tibet for the purpose of unification of the two countries. Shortly after he left she was notified that he had been killed, although no details were given. Determined to find the truth, Shu Wen joined a militia unit going to the Tibetan north, where she soon was separated from the regiment. Without supplies and knowledge of the language, she wandered, trying to find her way until, on the brink of death, she was rescued by a family of nomads under whose protection she moved from place to place with the seasons and eventually came to discover the details of her husband's death.In the haunting Sky Burial, Xinran has recreated Shu Wen's journey, writing beautifully and simply of the silence and the emptiness in which Shu Wen was enveloped. The book is an extraordinary portrait of a woman and a land, each at the mercy of fate and politics. It is an unforgettable, ultimately uplifting tale of love, loss, loyalty, and survival.

    In this book feature over two dozen stories taken from popular oral tradition and united with John D. Batten's black and white drawings, full of movement and energy. Many of the earliest children's books, particularly those dating back to the 1900s and before, are now extremely scarce and increasingly expensive. Pook Press are working to republish these classic works in affordable, high quality editions, using the original text and artwork so these works can delight another generation of children. John Dickson Batten (1860-1932) was a British painter, illustrator and print maker who was a leading light in the Art Nouveau movement. He illustrated a series of fairy tale books written by Joseph Jacobs as well as English language versions of Arabian Nights and Dante's Inferno. His illustrations are strongly influenced by the printmakers of Japan and are characterised by an intense romanticism and refined technique.

    They have a daughter, but desperate for a son to carry on his illustrious family line, Kongzi gets Meili pregnant again without waiting for official permission. When family planning officers storm the village to arrest violators of the population control policy, mother, father and daughter escape to the Yangtze River and begin a fugitive life.For years they drift south through the poisoned waterways and ruined landscapes of China, picking up work as they go along, scavenging for necessities and flying from police detection. As Meili's body continues to be invaded by her husband and assaulted by the state, she fights to regain control of her fate and that of her unborn child.

    Mao Zedong's Cultural Revolution engulfed millions of Chinese citizens, and the Red Guard enforced Mao's brutal communist regime. Chen's family belonged to the despised landlord class, and his father and grandfather were routinely beaten and sent to labor camps, the family of eight left without a breadwinner. Despite this background of poverty and danger, and Da Chen grows up to be resilient, tough, and funny, learning how to defend himself and how to work toward his future. By the final pages, when his says his last goodbyes to his father and boards the bus to Beijing to attend college, Da Chen has become a hopeful man astonishing in his resilience and cheerful strength.

    Olivia Laguni is half-Chinese, but typically American in her uneasiness with her patchwork family. And no one in Olivia's family is more embarrassing to her than her half-sister, Kwan Li. For Kwan speaks mangled English, is cheerfully deaf to Olivia's sarcasm, and sees the dead with her "yin eyes."Even as Olivia details the particulars of her decades-long grudge against her sister (who, among other things, is a source of infuriatingly good advice), Kwan Li is telling her own story, one that sweeps us into the splendor, squalor, and violence of Manchu China. And out of the friction between her narrators, Amy Tan creates a work that illuminates both the present and the past sweetly, sadly, hilariously, with searing and vivid prose.

    Adeline was born in China at a time of great change and trouble. At the same time, she suffered terrible unkindness from the members of her own family. Falling Leaves is a story of pain and fear, but also of hope as Adeline fights for her independence.

    Some of the stories here were collected by folklorists during the last two centuries, while the others are reworkings of oral tales by four of the greatest writers in Russian literature: Nadezhda Teffi, Pavel Bazhov, Andrey Platonov, and Alexander Pushkin, author of Eugene Onegin, the classic Russian novel in verse. Among the many classic stories included here are the tales of Baba Yaga, Vasilisa the Beautiful, Father Frost, and the Frog Princess.

    Learn the Alphabet and pronunciation as well as useful phrases in 8 categories, such as greetings, travel and directions, making friends to business and emergencies. Download, read and enjoy your vacation like never before.

    A few of the chapters include The TruePurpose of Life On Meditation How to Pray Effectively The Law of Karma The Lesson ofReincarnation and Ways in Which God Can Be Worshiped. Filled with lessons and stories thatYogananda shared only with his closest disciples, this volume offers one of the most insightfuland engaging glimpses into the life and lessons of a great sage. Much of the material presentedhere is not available anywhere else.