Nobody knows who created donuts. Or where. Or when. Neptune's core is covered in plastic. "Eleven plus two" is an anagram of "twelve plus one." Five of George Foreman's children are called George Foreman. One of the designers of Barbie used to build missiles. There's a flower that looks like Darth Vader's helmet. Bob Dylan won a Nobel Prize in 2016. There's an Egyptian professor who believes that the pyramids were built by dinosaurs. Abracadabra means "I create as I speak." Tulips used to be worth $1,250 each. There's a group of people who firmly believe that Finland isn't real. Queen Elizabeth I invented gingerbread men.

     Ernest Postlethwaite was a man embarking on a new life. No longer for him the routine and drudgery of the commuter... The first part of Ernest Postlethwaite's groundbreaking journal charters the course of a man on a mission to achieve cultural and linguistic integration in a small village in southern Spain. This unadulterated manuscript will bring tears to the eyes of the most hard-hearted amongst us, as we follow his footsteps into the great unknown. - 'This diary, written by my late husband, Ernest Postlethwaite, has been published expressly against his wishes, but with the full and hearty endorsement of my family and friends.' - From the introduction by Pamela Postlethwaite, Javea, Spain, December 2012 "I was captured from the first page. We've all come across expats like this, and Lowe brings together all the laughable elements into one hysterical character, Ernest. This parody of the expat diary genre had me laughing out loud. I can't wait for part two to come out. It reminded me most of Alan Ayckbourn plays in the 1980s (when I was a stage manager), and listening to the audiences leaving ... "Oh that ghastly character, wasn't he JUST like our neighbour / uncle / colleague?". They ALWAYS knew someone just like the dreadful people in the plays - they just never realised it was themselves. Let these posthumous "diaries" be a warning to expats everywhere - read it, enjoy it, and make sure it isn't about you!" - Tamara Essex review. ***** 'Part Two - Invasion' and 'Part Three - Consolidation' now available. ***** (This is a fictional diary.)

    Norman Baker said that about his autobiography. Why? He was a jackass. In the pages of this book meet 20 losers, killers, confidence tricksters, and incompetents - the Jackasses of History. For adult readers.