It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.

    Unfortunately they have no real resources, no good plans, and no idea what the hell they're doing. What they do have is an army of foul-mouthed monkeys who want them dead, a beautiful woman who wants some answers, a sex-crazed tribal chief, a caffeine-addicted demigod who wants to be worshipped, and a telepathic skull who just wants a little excitement. Through nonstop comedy and good old-fashioned adventure these guys are facing some long odds but do Ron and Willy give up? No they don't. They get down to business. Monkey Business.

    Demetri Roberts escapes to Bear Creek with his deaf sister, Sandy, in hopes of fleeing their troubled past and starting a safe and peaceful future.Assured that his sister is out of harm’s way, Demetri allows himself to fall for Emily and embark on a promising new romance. With her fitted jeans, her pistol and her sharp wit, Emily proves to be a tough lady who needs no protection.But when Demetri’s past catches up with him, putting his sister’s life back in danger, along with the rest of the community, their budding romance is put to the test.Will love and friendship be enough to save them? Will this fearless bride cure the troubled doctor’s heart?Deputy Tanner Williams wants nothing more than to find someone he can love. He finally summons up the courage to place an ad for a mail order bride, and is captivated by the woman with an irresistible combination of sharp wit and sweet nature.Bethany Duncan is determined to escape the life her controlling father has mapped out for her. The deputy’s mail order bride ad has given her a way out and she makes her way to Bear Creek to be with him.But trouble is brewing as chaos looms over the town, and Bethany’s father tries to stop his daughter’s plans.Are love and determination enough to secure a future of happiness for Bethany and Tanner, or is life determined to knock them down?Pastor Barthelme Munster and Samantha Freda weren’t expecting to find love when they moved to Bear Creek.Pastor Munster had planned to fully give himself to a community that needed him, while Samantha, together with her five sisters, had hoped to find a new place where she could put her difficult past behind her.Yet, they discover in each other a kindred spirit with whom they can share their dark pasts. Suddenly, these two lost souls are not alone… but can they accept their worth in time to give their blossoming love a chance?In the midst of the worst blizzard Bear Creek has ever seen, Peter Gibson and Shirley Freda find themselves stuck in the Jenkins’ ranch, growing ever closer as they work together to protect the ranch from the storm.Peter has already fallen for Shirley and longs for their budding relationship to grow, but Shirley is guarded, her heart frozen by the traumas of her past.Is his love true enough to thaw her heart and help her overcome the wounds that threaten to keep her from happiness?In Bear Creek Brides: Books 5-8, you’ll find four riveting stories of new beginnings and true love. Join Emily, Bethany, Samantha and Shirley as they face the demons of the past and fight for love and happiness.

    

    What’s hard is resisting the one woman I can’t have… the one who’s under my own roof—and under my skin. Every. Single. Day.Rachel Hamelin:Call me once-burned, twice-shy—and not just because I’m a personal chef.The last rich guy I worked for not only broke my heart, he also derailed my dream of owning my own restaurant. I am d-o-n-e done with wealthy men, and I’ve thoroughly learned my lesson about mixing work and personal relationships.So now that I’m cooking for Hap and his housemates at the “billionaire bachelor house” in Eastport Bay, I plan to ignore my sizzling attraction to my boss and keep it professional—no matter what it takes.But when a Christmas Eve blizzard traps the two of us alone together at the mansion, that’s easier said than done.And when Hap presents me with an unexpected—and utterly perfect—gift, my plans to avoid the mistletoe may be no match for Eastport Bay Christmas magic.The Merry Billionaire is a hot small town rom com Christmas romance and part of the Eastport Bay Billionaires series. Like all the novels in the series, It's a standalone and can be read in any order. It includes cameos from all the characters you've met in the series so far

    

     Lola’s name and celebrity gossip have always gone hand-in-hand—that’s just the price she pays for being young, beautiful, and famous in Hollywood. But when the paparazzi catches her in a steamy embrace with one half of America’s favorite movie star couple, Lola knows things are about to get bad. If Lola wants to keep working in this town, she’s going to need some major image rehab. According to her publicist, what Lola really needs is an All-American boyfriend to salvage her bad-girl reputation. Sam Medina is the perfect choice to play the part—hard-working, decent, and decidedly not famous. He’s also sexy as hell. And he’s interested in being a lot more than a pretend boyfriend. Lola needs someone to save her career, not fight for her heart. But Sam refuses to follow the script…

    Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Holidays on Ice, Santaland Diaries, Barrel Fever. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Naked, published in 1997, is a collection of essays by American humorist David Sedaris. The book details Sedaris life, from his unusual upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, to his booze-and-drug-ridden college years, to his Kerouacian wandering as a young adult. The book became a best-seller and was acclaimed for its wit, dark humor and irreverent tackling of tragic events, including the death of Sedaris mother. Prior to publication, several of the essays were read by the author on the NPR program This American Life. About the early life of the Sedaris family, and David's hopes to one day be rich and famous. It is revealed that the family is actually middle class. A description of Sedaris' obsessive-compulsive and Tourettic tendencies as a child. His behavior quirks include licking light switches and kissing newspapers, and they frequently land him in trouble at school. These tendencies are abandoned when he begins smoking at college. An account of Sedaris' elderly (and slightly senile) grandmother, known as Ya-Ya. After suffering an injury she is forced to live with his family, resulting in tension for all. Eventually, at the urging of Sedaris' mom (who was against Ya-Ya moving in with the family in the first place), she is put into a low-grade nursing home. When she dies, only his father seems to mourn. A description of events regarding a pornographic book that Sedaris finds when he is a child. The book is passed between his siblings, and eventually confiscated by his mother, who in turn reads it. A description of...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=89168

    Bob Smith, founded Alcoholics Anonymous in 1935, his hope was that AA would become a safe haven for those who suffered from this disease. Thirty years after his death, AA continues to help millions of alcoholics recover from what had been commonly regarded as a hopeless addiction. Still, while Wilson was a visionary for millions, he was no saint. After cofounding Alcoholics Anonymous, he stayed sober for over thirty-five years, helping countless thousands rebuild their lives. But at the same time, Wilson suffered form debilitating bouts of clinical depression, was a womanizer, and experimented with LSD.Francis Hartigan, the former secretary and confidant to Wilson's wife, Lois, has exhaustively researched his subject, writing with a complete insider's knowledge. Drawing on extensive interviews with Lois Wilson and scores of early members of AA, he fully explores Wilson's organizational genius, his devotion to the cause, and almost martyr-like selflessness. That Wilson, like all of us, had to struggle with his own personal demons makes this biography all the more moving and inspirational. Hartigan reveals the story of Wilson's life to be as humorous, horrific, and powerful as any of the AA vignettes told daily around the world.

    He has no children, two friends and one dog. His life is perfectly routine until he loses his wife, job, dog, boat and even his freedom all in one spectacularly hard year.He also didn't plan on falling in love with vet tech named Parker Cool.Float Plan is a contemporary novel featuring a chainsaw attack on a gazebo, a basset hound named Dean and a life-saving mozzarella stick. At its quirky, serious heart, the story is about what happens to a young man who steers himself toward love, forgiveness and happiness. Or close enough.Float Plan is also a love letter to Annapolis and Baltimore - and to fathers and mothers, old friends, dogs, boats and second chances.

    Each person who has ever lived has five Numbers on their arm, defining the five primary attributes of that person. Throughout someone's life, these will increase with time and effort, and all of society revolves around these Numbers. What happens when this natural system of Numbers, the basis of all of society for all of history...changes?

     A Ragdoll Kitten Care Guide: Bringing Your Ragdoll Kitten Home is a comprehensive guide that covers every aspect of kitten care a new owner needs to know written in a warm, friendly tone. What if you knew what to expect and prepare for before you even picked your Ragdoll kitten up? Wouldn't it be nice to know how to kitten proof your home? Or what about what to buy in anticipation for your little one's arrival? Looking for recommended products for a new Ragdoll kitten? Looking for suggestions on everything from water fountains to scratching posts, pet carriers, cat litter, litter boxes, cat bowls, etc....products that a Ragdoll cat owner just can't live without? How about vet visits and cat health insurance? There's a lot to consider and prepare for. A Ragdoll Kitten Care Guide includes links to videos and products, and the information presented is from real life experiences, not repeated from other cat books. There are many quick, simple tips that can be used with Ragdoll kittens. The author also has a corresponding website Floppycats.com, where you can easily connect with other Ragdoll cat owners. Here's a peek inside of A Ragdoll Kitten Care Guide: Chapter 1 - Getting Your Kitten Safe-Room Ready, Kitten-Proofing, and Other Things Chapter 2 - First Days with Your Kitten and Things to Watch Out For Chapter 3 - Diet, Food and Water Bowls, Treats Chapter 4 - Scratchers, Trees, Toys and Beds Chapter 5 - Vets, Carriers, Vaccinations and Cat Health Insurance Chapter 6 - Nail Trimming, Declawing and Grooming Chapter 7 - Litter Boxes, Automatic Litter Boxes and Litter Scoops Chapter 8 - Dental Care, Teething and Teeth Brushing BONUS: How to Introduce Your New Ragdoll Kitten to a Resident Cat BONUS: Bringing Your Ragdoll Kitten Home Checklist BONUS: Questions to ask Ragdoll Breeders Carefully researched, this guide is a fast and enjoyable read with lots of photos and recommendations for the Ragdoll Kitten owner. Everything is broken down into easy chapters, and Jenny writes as if she is there with you to take you there through the various steps.

    Even the dead. A murder interrupts Special Agent Victor Loshak's vacation in Santa Fe -- a middle-aged man executed in his garage. The forensic details make it seem like a professional job, but the local police seem hell bent on pinning the killing on the dead man's wife anyway. The story doesn't quite add up. Loshak gets swept up in the hunt for the truth, even if he's still dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and sandals. The agent digs through the seedy underworld of New Mexico, finds it populated with colorful characters who may or may not be playing it straight. The details of the case grow increasingly bizarre. Everyone seems to have a different description of the dead man in the garage -- his personality, his passions, his hopes and dreams all vary wildly depending on who is telling the story. If Loshak can find out who the victim really was, he can solve the case. If not... Grab this short sequel to Beyond Good & Evil! Praise for the Victor Loshak series: "Was hooked from the 1st page and stayed up all night to finish it. Jaw dropping edge of your seat action packed thriller." - Mary Palmer "There is a terrifying serial killer in this book. And the story is riveting...I really enjoyed getting to know Loshak better. I love the way he consciously reads people and uses his knowledge of human behavior to function in everyday life, not just as a detective. I love his self awareness. I love his measured, experienced approach to life and his job and I love his honesty with himself and other people." - Melanie "I felt that adrenaline rush tingling down my spine. You’ll be left wondering did I lock the back door?...I began reading this book, and didn’t stop until I was finished at 3:00am." - C. Awbrey "This was a wonderful, well written (with all their great details), sinister crime story." - C. Munger "Great read. Mystery, thrills, suspense and the grim horror of what true crime sounds, feels, looks, and smells like. A must read whether you have or haven’t indulged before in this series." - Indiquinn

    It's companion piece, Drop the Rock . . .The Ripple Effect has already sold thousands of copies. Now it's easy for you to get both of these essential recovery books in a convenient e-book bundle. About Drop the Rock, Second Edition  Resentment. Fear. Self-Pity. Intolerance. Anger. As Bill P. explains, these are the "rocks" that can sink recovery--or at the least, block further progress. Based on the principles behind Steps Six and Seven, Drop the Rock combines personal stories, practical advice, and powerful insights to help readers move forward in recovery. The second edition features additional stories and a reference section.  About Drop the Rock. . .The Ripple Effect In this follow-up to Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects, Fred H. explores "the ripple effect" that can be created by using Step 10 to practice Steps 6 and 7 every day to avoid picking up "the rock"—also known as resentment, fear, and self-pity—again. Drawing on his years of lecturing on the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Fred H. reveals Step 10 as the natural culmination of working the previous Steps, providing a crash course on renewing your recovery program through the daily practice of Twelve Step principles.  Drop the Rock. . .The Ripple Effect provides multiple perspectives from people successfully working a Twelve Step Program and shows Step 10 as a key to a sober life free of fear and resentment, and filled with serenity and gratitude.

    Death Devours: With the threat of the First now behind her, Natalie Pierce has little time to celebrate before yet another problem arises. By killing the first vampire ever made, she inadvertently set his ancient enemies free. Ten withered, starving creatures have now been unleashed from forty thousand years of forced entombment.Only Natalie and her vampire kin have the strength and speed to eradicate the inundation of fledgling undead that are about to rise. The last thing Nat ever wanted to do was rule but destiny cannot be denied. In her role as Mortis, she must bring her kin together or the entire human population will be destroyed. Somehow, she must find a way for the Japanese and European vampire nations to put aside their ancient enmity and work together for a common cause.Death Betrays: Having destroyed a horde of fledgling vampires with the help of her friends and allies, Natalie Pierce’s hunt still isn't over. Their foe has fled from Africa with the intention of creating a new army of undead slaves to turn the human race into their cattle. Nat begins to feel uneasy about the fragile alliance between the Japanese and European vampire nations as well as the truce they have with the human soldiers. Both she and Kokoro know that death and darkness awaits their kind. A betrayal is coming that will tear their alliances apart. Their fate has been decided but neither yet knows exactly how or when their dwindling species will be decimated. Death Banishes: Evicted from their own world by the humans that they had twice saved, Natalie Pierce and her few remaining kin float in the void of space inside the ship that has become an icy tomb. Rescue comes in the form of an alien spacecraft and Nat and her friends are soon facing adversaries that they have never encountered before. Their dwindling species is on the brink of extinction and it quickly becomes apparent that their new enemies would be only too happy to finish them off once and for all.