Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    Now late in his career, Savard and his teammate and best friend, Cam Carter, are trying to fulfill their boyhood dreams of winning a Stanley Cup before they retire. A surprise late-season trade pits the friends against each other in a playoff series both could lose but only one can win. Saved takes the reader into the rinks, dressing rooms, planes, buses, and hotels that are the backdrop to the long grind of an NHL season. That grind is made bearable by the likes of players such as Bruno Govoni, whose cell phone ring tone is the orgasmic moaning of a porn star Loretta (Lash) LaRue; of Phil Flipside Palmer, the only person besides the Kingsmen who knows all the words to Louie Louie or that Child of the Moon was the flipside of the Rolling Stones' Jumpin' Jack Flash; and team enforcer Kevin Quigley, who claims all his fights are retaliations, but sometimes I retaliate first. Most sports novels bring the game to the reader. Saved brings the reader to the game. Praise for Jack Falla Falla's graphic portrayal of a violent sport (and its colorful players) and his insider's view of how hockey is played, coached, and officiated is exciting, surefire entertainment. -- Publishers Weekly on Saved Literary hot chocolate that will warm your heart. ---Robert Lipsyte, The New York Times, on Home Ice The best hockey book ever. ---John Buccigross, ESPNsportscaster, on Home Ice Possibly the best hockey book since Ken Dryden's The Game, ---Toronto Globe and Mail, on Home Ice

    Never been to a movie. Never played baseball with a real team. Never got over feeling guilty for the loss of his brother. But change is in the air. Billy discovers he has a natural talent for baseball, especially as a pitcher. Maybe, just maybe, there's more in store for him than life on the farm. But can Billy convince his father of that? Or is he destined to spend the rest of his life pitching nothing but hay?Teenager Billy Baggs is desperately needed on his family's struggling dairy farm, but he's also an extraordinarily gifted natural baseball player. How he struggles to reconcile his father's desire to keep him on the farm with his coach's interest in getting him on the field is at the heart of this ‘meaty story.… The complex characters grow and change in profoundly real ways.''K. ‘[With] flashes of humor, a wealth of lovingly recounted details evokes the difficult daily life on a small dairy farm.''Publishers Weekly. 1994 Best Books for Young Adults (ALA)1994 Books for the Teen Age (NY Public Library)1993 "Pick of the Lists" (ABA)

    When Eddie's former caddie, "Fat Albert" Auberlain (a cross between Tiger Woods and John Daly), loses his PGA Tour card, his endorsements, and his composure after posting a twelve on a par three at the Fruit-of-the-Loom Waste Management Open, Eddie finds the sad sack on his doorstep. Fat Albert, in debt up to his eyeballs and with several needy relatives to feed, had barely been eking out a living on Tour as it was, and the pressure was threatening to make him implode altogether. Eddie takes pity on his protege but isn't quite sure what he can do, when along comes nuclear physicist Norman Standish with the most revolutionary advance in golf equipment since the double niblick-a golf ball they call Scratch. If Standish's claims are true, Eddie could make the killing of his strange and wonderful life and just possibly change the game forever. With McAllister's patented golf hustling hijinks, roller-coaster plotting, and laugh-out-loud skewering of pro sports hypocrisy, Eddie's die-hard fans and golf fiction aficionados will laugh all the way to the putting green. As Eddie himself puts it in The Foursome, "Why do you think they call the devil "Scratch"?"

     One – I would’ve tried shielding Miles from the ugliness of the mirror. Two – I would’ve listened to the warnings that despite the evil I’ve already met, worse was coming. Three – I would’ve recognized that while I was trying to keep everyone in the light, darkness crept into the hidden corners of myself I never knew existed. Four – I wouldn’t have so willingly trusted others just because they are family. Five – Most importantly, I would have shielded my heart before it turned black.

    A collaborative book, written and edited in just 11 weeks, that examines college sports through the lens of an Old West that never existed, but feels very familiar.

    Jenkins is the author of many books including the New York Times bestseller Out of the Blue with Orel Hershiser.

    And so when she meets and falls in love with Daniel Fallow, son of a successful businessman, she's quick to accept his proposal of his marriage. His family, though, are against the match, and so the young couple marry in secret. Grudging acceptance follows, and as the Depression worsens Daniel is persuaded to join the family business, unaware of his father's dodgy dealings. Tragedy is just around the corner, and worse is to come when war is declared in 1939: as Daniel leaves to fight and her children are evacuated, Hope wonders if she will ever have all her family around her again...

    Before she can enjoy her freshman year, she's targeted by the spirit of Jaime, a girl who had gone missing months before. Jaime needed Madison's help to find her killer, but now that her body’s been found, she’s MIA. The same can’t be said for the malevolent spirits who want Madison to steer clear of the killer and his victims. Despite the danger she is in, Jaime’s brother, Haven continues to push Madison to find the killer. He won't stop until he gets justice for his sister. Madison’s hometown crush, Shane insists she forget about Jaime and the killer and get on with her life, but that's hard to do when no one will leave her alone. Torn between the two handsome men and her conscience that is telling her to find the killer, Madison has to make a decision—ignore the psychic visions and clues or keep digging for answers and become the killer’s next victim. The Forgotten is the final book in The MacKinnon Legacy series and is intended for readers over 17.

    New arcanists. The rise of the Second Ascension.Volke Savan has proven himself time and time again, but now the others of the Frith Guild want their opportunity. Illia wants to recover a lost runestone, Master Zelfree hopes to learn the magics of the Mother of Shapeshifters, and Adelgis surprises himself with the new depths of his dreamweaving abilities.But while the Frith Guild prepares for the coming war, the Second Ascension has grand plans for the world. When two more god-creatures are born, dastardly arcanists try their hands at braving the godly lairs. With the Dread Pirate Calisto as a ferry, men like Theasin Venrover will have to outsmart puzzles and traps that put the world serpent’s to shame.Witness stories from the viewpoints of friend and foe alike, all while the world races to find and bond with the remaining god-creatures.

    This is not a book of swing techniques. There are plenty of other resources that teach you how to swing, chip and putt. What this book does provide is a true framework for breaking 80 based on sound principles that will work for any golfer of any level. Provided you faithfully follow and apply these principles, you will begin to improve surely and steadily, to the point where you will eventually gain the ability to break 80, not just as a one-time fluke, but over and over again as a reflection of your true new-found ability. Whether you're struggling to break 100, 90, 80 or even a complete beginner, the Little Book of Breaking 80 will help take your game to the next level!

    The infectious excitement in his voice, his boyish love of the game, and his uncanny ability to anticipate the play have earned him the affection of generations of fans, induction into the Hall of Fame, and the unofficial title of best hockey broadcaster ever.Now, for the first time, readers will see Cole at the centre of the story rather than watching it from the broadcast booth. We meet the young man growing up in Newfoundland in the years before it joins Canada. We see him talk his way into Foster Hewitt's office and into his first job. And of course we see some of the most cherished players in the game backstage: on the plane back from Russia in 1972, rubbing elbows with Bobby Orr; in the hallway on the old Montreal Forum, running into Jean Beliveau; meeting young players like Steve Stamkos, who grew up listening to him on Hockey Night in Canada.Written with the expert help of massively bestselling author and respected broadcaster Stephen Brunt, these stories come to life with the charm and detail of a conversation with Cole. They sound like Cole.No one has been closer to the game over the years than Cole, and no one is more closely associated with all we love about the game than the man whose eyes we've seen it though. Now we will see so much more through those same eyes and in that unforgettable voice.

    . . colorful descriptions make this a fun read." -Los Angeles Times "One of the best sports books of the year." -Booklist Ken Baker wanted nothing more than to play ice hockey with the pros-until a brain tumor cut his dreams short while in college. After surgery and several years of rehab, Baker, who in high school was a top prospect for the U.S. Olympic team, put his successful journalism career on hold to attempt the seemingly impossible: a comeback. He moved away from his family to become the third-string goalie for the Bakersfield Condors, an AA-level minor-league team in the dusty oil town of Bakersfield, California. At the age of thirty-one, Baker became the oldest rookie in all of pro-hockey, facing 100-m.p.h. slap shots and long bus rides, hostile fans and cheap motel rooms, body bruises, and battle-worn teammates. From his visit to an NHL training camp to his first nerve-rattled minutes as a pro, Baker joins the rookies who still dream of making it to the Show, the veterans long past their prime, and the obsessive fans who keep them going. When the season is over, Baker's pro-hockey adventure ends up teaching him nearly everything he will ever need to know about life.

    It's nothing like the suburb you might live in . . . Unless, that is, an insane, Listerine-guzzling Realtor sold you your house? Or perhaps your postman happens to have a disturbing relationship with his claw hammer? A grieving Dan LaBarbara knows something is different in Helltown as soon as he comes back home. Yeah, sure, the town always been a little off. You can feel that about the place, like if you stepped into a house whose only occupants were freshly murdered corpses in an upstairs bedroom. But this is something else entirely. Standing in his little brother Barbie's basement workshop, holding one of those dioramas Barbie's been building since the accident, the ones that seem to move when you hold them, Dan can feel Barbie's terror. Barbie must know something is coming, something big, something evil. He's trying to warn Dan in the only way he knows. Why else would Barbie build a diorama depicting a man-sized version of a cartoon rabbit with bloody teeth about to devour a trembling teenager? Why else would he spend so much time crafting an intricate model of Death standing over a pimply teenager in the school library? And let's not even talk about that little model of the mob of undead surrounding the massive tower of vicious black spines behind the high school. Hilltown has a story to tell, and the lonely brain-damaged man who builds magical dioramas in his basement workshop has been telling it all along. As the evil closes in around them, Dan and his new love interest Jessica must do the impossible: save everyone one in Hilltown before it's too late.

    From the moment we met over powdered sugar, I yearned to melt the icicles dripping from her wool tailored tweed. I have to have her and I always get what I want.Even if it means giving up my playboy ways. I'm the most badass center the NHL has ever seen and my plus/minus ratio is inspiring. Almost as impressive as my chiseled body and ahem...other huge assets. I can fire a shot from any angle that will make the opposing goalie scream for his mother. When it comes to pucks and f*cks, I'll always light the red light. But my desire for Eloise puts my Hall of Fame career on the line. That and her secrets. The ones I never wanted to know. I'ma rich, famous hockey player--she's a front office exec. On paper we don't fit.But there's one place where we fit. Like a glove. I have a stellar career and other obligations so I know I shouldn't get involved with her. It's too perilous. I can't fall...risk losing my heart. But for the first time, I woman sees me. The real me. Not some millionaire playboy that leaves panting women stranded in the stands. And I sure as hell want her. Her tempting curves beg me to take it all. But Eloise has been hiding something from me.She has a secret that threatens to destroy us both. And so this soaring NHL superstar is actually worried. Because if she lets it see the light of day,we're over. Done. The Crease She's unique. Different. The moment we met I was gone. Long gone. From her pink hair to her vintage Converse sneakers. I have to have her and I always get what I want. Even if it means my dark secret could be exposed. My addiction to her might ruin my career. Maybe even my life. I'm the most badass goalie the NHL has ever seen and my save percentage is inspiring. Almost as impressive as my chiseled body and ahem...other huge assets. I can snag any explosive rebound, any one-timer from the point and anything else that flies my way. I'll lead my team to the Stanley Cup or die trying. But my desire for Kylie puts my Hall of Fame career on the line. That and him. A vicious sociopathic blast from the past that I thought I'd never have to see again. And never wanted to. I'm a rich, famous hockey player--she's a personal assistant. On paper we don't fit. But there's one place where we fit. Like a glove. I have a stellar career and family obligations so I know I shouldn't get involved with her. It's too perilous. I can't fall...risk losing my heart. But for the first time, I woman sees me. The real me. Not some walking wallet that distributes Benjamins like a malfunctioning ATM. And I sure as hell want her. Her tempting curves beg me to take it all. But she's been hiding something from me too. She has a secret that threatens to destroy us both. Even worse than mine. And so the superstar goalie is actually afraid. Because if either of those secrets see the light of day, it's over. Done.