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I Am Funny Like That: A Funny Look At Life


Helen C. Escott - 2016
    There are no granny panties in this drawer!He picks up a pair of my NASA engineered favourites and insisted, "These are granny panties."No they are not!" I protested, "Granny panties are cotton, with flowers all over them and come up to your armpits." I grabbed my daily favourites out of his hand, "These are a modern-day wonder! They hide years of not doing sit-ups every day, cellulite dimples, Big Macs with extra sauce and muffin belly! My grandmother never had panties like this!"Call them what you want. They are modern-day granny panties" he informs me.Putting them back in the drawer I thought, "I would have to join a gym if I ever gave these beauties up."Anyway it got me to thinking. So I made a visit to a lingerie store. Maybe my underwear drawer did need some updating.The walls of the store were lined with massive posters of girls who don't eat so they can wear lace without tummy control panels. Looking at their photo-shopped abs didn't inspire me to drop to the floor and do a hundred sit-ups it just made me want to hold them down and force feed them hamburgers.The 20 something sales girl came over with her size 0 figure and asked if I needed help. "I am looking to update my underwear drawer" I tell her, "I am looking for something that is comfortable but... sexy." I know in her head she's thinking "Sex at her age! Wow good for her!"First she shows me the wall of underwear designed to turn on perverts. "No, that's not what I am looking for" and we move along to the "School girl" underwear to turn on pedophiles. "That's not me either" I tell her. Then she shows me the "new" line just in that week with the red or black fur around the waistband. "Doesn't that show through your dress pants?" I ask her. "Oh, you don't wear anything over these ones." That ought to make my work day more interesting I thought to myself.Then she brings out the most dreaded, torturous devise knows to woman... the G-String!I tried a pair once and I looked like a summo wrestler. Even I laughed when I looked in the mirror. It brought back a memory to me. I was doing a two-day course at university. Before the course started the students were standing around the back of the class chatting and getting to know one another. I met this lovely lady who told me she was 60-years-old and was doing the course out of interest. When it was time to sit down, she sat in front of me and to my horror she was wearing low-cut jeans that revealed a tattooed pair of eyes above her butt cheeks but the worst part, she was wearing a silver thong.It was like a car crash, I couldn't look away. For seven hours the droopy eyes on her butt watched me, staring at me, scarring me for life. Every time she put up her hand to ask a question her hips shifted and her butt winked at me. The sliver G-string thread around her waist looked like a disco Hippie headband. I would never be able to look at a G-string without thinking of her butt eye balling me."I don't do fanny-floss" I told her. I need something comfortable. "Maybe you should go to Walmart" she says. "Maybe you should go to hell" I thought in my head.With her sales commission still in my wallet, I left and called hubby from my cell phone in the car."Ok I am willing to compromise. Wh

Floating in Darkness - A Journey of Evolution


Ron Garan - 2021
    An adventure that illuminates a path toward understanding the meaning of life and our place in the universe.-Humanity faces an unprecedented crisis that threatens all life on Earth. Desert Storm fighter pilot and NASA astronaut Ron Garan addresses this head-on in Floatingin Darkness: A Journey of Evolution, the follow-up to his critically acclaimed first book, The Orbital Perspective: Lessons in Seeing the Big Picture from a Journey of 71 Million Miles.-Ron takes us on an extraordinary journey through outer space and inner space. He explores the dancing, intersecting orbits of religion, spirituality, and science while grappling with his own role in the violence of combat and the effects of war on all aspects of human life. We witness Ron struggling with mortality while also basking in the sheer wonder and beauty of our world and beyond. From this perspective, Ron maps out a viable path forward—to solve our crisis, we need a giant leap in humanity’s evolutionary process. We must transcend individual and collective ego and embrace the true nature of our interdependence with this fragile planet and all life within its biosphere. -Ron shows us how to discover our purpose, detoxify our divisive culture, and become a “white blood cell” in a growing immune response to heal our world.-Floating in Darkness is a blueprint to build a restorative and positive future for all.

The Well House III: The Redemption


M.S. Matassa - 2019
    The year is 2016, and Ben Carson has fallen into a deep depression because his son, Taylor, has been held hostage for more than a year and Ben is unable to save him. Disturbing dreams are back, which give Ben clues on how to defeat the evil power. Familiar characters return to help Ben on his quest. Ben and his dog, together with his wife, Anne, and daughter, Molly, enter the well house, and descend into the underworld in an effort to save his son. A great wizard, a Basque priest, and his old friend, Claude Moran, also accompany Ben, together with other familiar characters. They encounter terrifying dreams, dangerous creatures, and demonic angels on several journeys through the underworld, where some lives are lost during the search for redemption. The Well House III: The Redemption is an exciting drama that is part fantasy, part reality and part parable. It is filled with fire, magic and mystical spells, and takes you on an amazing journey from the mountains high above Boulder Colorado to the depths of hell. It continues the exciting and unique story of a man's fight against the ultimate evil. Will Ben win the battle and gain redemption or will he, his family and friends be destroyed and the world ruled by evil? The answer can be found in the chalice, the stones, and the water. The story of Ben's fight is finally concluded...or is it?The Well House III: The Redemption is the third book in the series called The Well House Chronicles.

Samantha's Revenge


Andrew R. Williams - 2020
    It floated alongside the air-car. This time, time instead of sending him mental message, the face spoke out aloud and the whole air-car vibrated with its intensity. "If you are foolish enough to renege on your contract, you will be severely punished. For your sake, I hope you wouldn't do such a thing." When Tarmy made no attempt to respond, the face turned and pressed itself against the millipede-free window. A moment later, Tarmy felt the fat slug entering his mind, the sign that the face was attempting to use its powers to obtain his response by other means. But as the slug dug deeper, Samantha's cover stories began springing out of the corners of his mind. Instead of obtaining Tarmy's agreement, all that the face saw was a burning army transporter surrounded by bodies. Undeterred, the face continued its assault. Samantha had anticipated that Tarmy might come up against an adept, so the mental images of death and destruction flowed unchecked. After failing to break Tarmy's defences, the face removed the slug and tried reason. "You can't win, Mr Tarleton, so why don't you do yourself a favour and cooperate? It will be better for you in the long run. Now, where is the miniature pulse drive engine?" Tarmy realised why the millipedes hadn't been allowed to attack. It was obvious that the Great Ones were hoping to retrieve the engine. When Tarmy didn't respond, the face said, "I am prepared to overlook your desertion if you agree to tell us where the engine is and also honour your contract by showing us how to convert the engine into a bomb."

Surviving Chaos: How I Found Peace at A Beach Bar


Harold Phifer - 2021
    No one knew about his past growing up with a mother who suffered from mental illness; a greedy aunt; a mindless and spoiled older brother; an absent father.It wasn't until an explosion in Afghanistan that his memory was blasted back into focus. This book is the result of a long, cathartic chat with a stranger at a beach bar, where Harold finally found some peace.

Median Gray


Bill Mesce Jr. - 2020
    Adam Plantinga, author of 400 Things Cops Know and Police Craft. At a time when New York’s mean streets were their meanest, one NYPD detective at the end of his career takes one last chance to correct a 20-year-old injustice, and another cop at the beginning of his career tries to stop him before a police department already scarred by corruption investigations takes another hit.

The Dance of Love


Angela Young - 2014
    Against a backdrop of high Edwardian luxury, Natalie Edwardes is poised on the brink of adulthood and, in an age when a woman's destiny is decided by marriage, her beauty, wit and wealth would seem to guarantee her a glittering future. But, isolated by her father's position as a self-made man, Natalie has never felt at ease in a society bound by a maze of conventions. Heart, for her, will always rule head, and so it seems that an encounter with a dashing yet gentle artist-soldier contains all the seeds of her life's happiness. The dance of Natalie's life whirls her from the glittering ballrooms of London and the grand houses of Scotland and Devon, to the Scottish Highlands. But the strictures of polite society are far-reaching and Natalie's happiness is abruptly snatched away. She is forced to compromise her romantic ideals and it is only when the tragedy of the Titanic touches her life, years later, that she discovers what love really means and the heartrending choices it poses. Choices that even the cataclysmic events of 1914-1919 seem unlikely to challenge.

Eye for Eye


J.K. Franko - 2019
    until their teenage daughter is senselessly killed.Just as they’re managing to put that tragic loss behind them, a complete stranger approaches Roy in a bar with a drunken proposal—he invokes their daughter’s memory to ask Roy to kill a man.All is not as it seems, however, and Roy and Susie soon find themselves navigating an intricate web of deception, betrayal, and revenge.Can Roy and Susie outwit their hidden enemies? And what secrets lie buried in their past that could destroy them?Eye for Eye is the pulse-pounding Book One of the Talion crime thriller series which begins with the Eye for Eye Trilogy.Eye for EyeTooth for ToothLife for LifeIf you like smart, fast-paced thrillers with unexpected twists, then you’ll love J.K. Franko’s ride on the dark side.

The Secret Magdalene


Ki Longfellow - 2005
    But Mariamne has a further gift: an illness has left her with visions; she has the power of prophecy. It is her prophesying that drives the two girls to flee to Egypt, where they study philosophy, mathematics, and astronomy in the Great Library of Alexandria.After seven years they return to a Judaea where many now believe John the Baptizer is the messiah. Salome too begins to believe, but Mariamne, now called Magdalene, is drawn to his cousin, Yeshu'a, a man touched by the divine in the same way she was during her days of illness. Together they speak of sharing their direct experience of God; but Yeshu'a unexpectedly gains a reputation as a healer, and as the ill and the troubled flock to him, he and Magdalene are forced to make a terrible decision.This radical retelling of the greatest story ever told brings Mary Magdalene to life—not as a prostitute or demon-possessed—but as an educated woman who was truly the "apostle to the apostles."From the Hardcover edition.

The Beagle and the Hare


Kevin Moccia - 2019
    The Hobbs family farm, White House purveyor since 1897, is patrolled by fifteen and seven eights inch beagle, the seventh generation of its line. The beagle, born with a cannon ball thick scull, and teeth he honed on deer bones, is a canine assassin, who makes friends with his sworn enemy, a Flemish hare, a scholarly rabbit, tailored by nature in the worse fitting fur imaginable.

Love Lies: A True Story of Marriage and Murder in the Suburbs


Amanda Lamb - 2011
    A perfect lie. When Nancy Cooper moved from Canada to Cary, North Carolina with her new husband Brad, their future was bright: living in one of the most picturesque towns in the US, the couple mingled with neighbors, attended parties, and raised two daughters. Then, on July 14th, 2008, the façade came crashing down when Nancy’s strangled body was found in a storm pond. Nancy’s husband claimed that she had gone for a jog and never come back. But as the police investigation deepened, and as Brad was brought to trial for murdering his wife, a complex web of affairs and lies was uncovered involving multiple residents of Cary’s idyllic neighborhoods. At the heart of it stood the Coopers’ soured marriage, Nancy’s threat to leave with the children, and her own cold-blooded murder. It would take a mountain of damning evidence before justice was served.

My Soul Belongs to You (Soul Mates Book 2)


C.L. Hunter - 2016
    But this pain from her past has made Kate a use 'em and leave 'em kind of girl, bypassing love and commitment to protect herself. And this system has worked----until she meets DEACON O'MALLERY, a sweet, sexy, striving Irish businessman. Deacon is known as a jammy, a lucky bastard. As second in command at the largest intel company in Europe, he has the world by the balls, leaving the orphaned boy who grew up with nothing--and everyone else--behind. Then Katlyn Reynolds walks into his life and he's smitten. Kate is his maité Sol, his soul mate; he just knows it; even his wanker can't stop thinking about her. And, for the first time, after hearing Kate's story of brutality and loss, he wants to find his birth mother, the woman who abandoned him.Kate's feelings for Deacon are confusing. She cares enough to reveal her past, but insists he find love somewhere else.Now this stubborn bloke has two missions: to find his mother and to make the girl across the ocean stand by his side forever. Ádh mór ort, Kate! Good luck, he thinks. She's going to need it to fight him off, for he has more than good looks, charm, tenacity, and money on his side. Deacon has Thomas and Calista: spirits he unwittingly beckons into his life.In the second book in the Soul Mate series the cross-continental frolics continue with Kate and Deacon. Drama blends with desire and an off-the-charts plot, creating the heavyweight champion of page-turners in this sensual romance.

Work Smart Now: How to Jump Start Productivity, Empower Employees, and Achieve More


Richard Polak - 2021
    

Gambit


C.L. Denault - 2015
    Those with extraordinary skills rise to power and fame. Those without live in poverty.Sixteen-year-old Willow Kent believed she was normal. But when a genetically-advanced military officer shows up in her village and questions her identity, long-buried secrets begin to emerge. With remarkable skills and a shocking genetic code the Core and its enemies will do anything to obtain, Willow suddenly finds the freedom she craves slipping through her fingers. Greed, corruption, and genetic tampering threaten every aspect of her existence as she’s thrust, unwilling, into the sophisticated culture of the elite Core city. To ensure peace, she must leave the past behind, marry a man she’s never met, and submit to the authority of a relentless officer with a hidden agenda of his own.Her life has become a dangerous game. How much will she sacrifice in order to win?

Face of Our Father


G Egore Pitir - 2014
    After winning the 2015 Best Indie Book Award for Action/Adventure and receiving the B.R.A.G. Medallion, FACE OF OUR FATHER was just awarded the Bronze Medal for Popular Fiction by the 2016 eLit Awards. This novel has it all. One part "The Bourne Identity," one part "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy," and one part "The Notebook," this poignant tale leaves the reader haunted by its characters long after the novel's final page has turned. Stuart and Angela Pierce, like many disillusioned careerists, are busy reinventing their lives. Stu reduces his airline flying schedule to train for triathlons, while Angie escapes the daily horrors of a prosecutor's job to pursue pro bono work. But death threats soon prove that the only thing Angie escaped was the protective arm of the District Attorney's office. With a graphic photo of a ritual stoning Stu's only tangible clue, he sets out to protect a wife who refuses to protect herself. Obsessed with catching a murdering rapist, Angie plunges them both into a web of global intrigue. But who, indeed what, is the real enemy? Honor. Love. Life. All are at stake as the Pierces struggle to uncover the truth, both the enemy's, and their own. Sometimes the biggest enemy can be the one right next to you... FACE OF OUR FATHER is too literary to be a thriller, yet too thrilling to put down-a unique blend of action and intimacy-a thriller with a soul. How often does fiction change how we define integrity, prejudice, and evil? To get at all that, a novel needs a rollercoaster of a plot coupled with an acute understanding of identity, love, and where these intersect. Test your beliefs. Read it.