It starts when Glinda the Good Witch becomes President and before long munchkins are working at fast food restaurants.

    That much is obvious. But it's when you realize that he's also shameless about how he feels that you recognize you're in the hands of a mad-lover, a very funny-fiend, an artist...[I Will Rot Without You] is the kind of book that makes you want to write one of your own." - JOSH MALERMAN, author of Bird BoxMeet Ernie. His life is a mess. Gretchen's gone, and the apartment they once shared is this grey, grim city is now overrun with intelligent mold and sinister bugs.Then his neighbor Dee shows up, so smart and lovely. If he can just get past the fact that her jealous boyfriend could reach out of her blouse and punch him in the face at any moment, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.Unfortunately for all involved, a Great Storm is coming and it will wash away everything we've ever known about the human heart.

    Stalin is dead and a once-prosperous thief named Alek Karriker is feeling the pressure. Trapped in an icy prison camp where violent criminals run the show, betrayed by his friends and his body, Karriker is surrounded by death and disorder. Bizarre Inuit shamans are issuing ever-stranger commands that he must obey. Opium is running scarce and bad magic is plentiful. Razor-tooth gangsters can smell Karriker's blood and they plan to murder him more than once. The only option: ESCAPE. Enlisting the aid of an aging guard, a cold-blooded killer, and a beautiful, murderous nurse, Karriker must now secure his getaway by finding a "calf" a gullible prisoner to be cannibalized when the tundra is at its most barren. As the vice grows tighter and life in the gulag becomes increasingly surreal, Karriker must hurry to find his mark and convince him... BY THE TIME WE LEAVE HERE, WE'LL BE FRIENDS

    A war breaks out over greeting cards. A suicidal amputee tries to kill himself. William S. Burroughs becomes an amateur archaeologist and Tao Lin drinks an ape-flavored smoothie.Between a breakfast of clocks, a lunch date with Adolf Hitler, and breakdancing in outer space, anything is possible in the work of Bradley Sands. Just never wear a bear costume to an orgy.Praise for Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy:"Nothing I could dream up compares to the strangeness and wildness of Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy. You should read this book." - SHANE JONES, author of Light Boxes"Words cannot express what Bradley Sands can do with words. Every page in this book is shocking, hilarious, sad and surprising. Reading it is like crowd-surfing a bookstore full of basketball players on MDMA." - MYKLE HANSEN, author of HELP! A Bear is Eating Me!"Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy is like an Adult Swim show written by Russell Edson." - CARLTON MELLICK III, author of The Faggiest Vampire"A new strange amusement." - DENVER EXAMINER

    She retouches images for Redbook, Teen Vogue, Chic, Marie Claire, and Nylon. Her work involves shaving off hipbones, masking moles, and giving more sheen to the lusterless skin of supermodels. In other words, she makes people beautiful. But when a vengeful houseguest forwards Nina's private correspondence with her boss to popular feminist blog Jezebel, Nina finds herself jobless and ostracized.Then rabid obese people start rampaging on the streets of New York.Thrown together with her ex-boyfriend Chris and his fianc�, the gorgeous Molly Sweet, Ferdinand (a male model with a fat fetish), Chantal (also a model), and Dora (the vengeful houseguest who destroyed her career), Nina must fend for her life in a world where the people she hates most are now trying to eat her.Lazy Fascist Press is proud to present The Obese, a bloody satire about body image and America's obesity epidemic, written by Shirley Jackson Award-winner Nick Antosca.Also featuring the bonus story "Predator Bait."

    Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner. Featuring: Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, Priceline Shatner, Cartoon Kirk, Rescue 9-1-1 Shatner, singer Shatner, and many more. No costumed con-goer will be spared in their wave of destruction, no red shirt will make it out alive, and not even the Klingons will be able to stand up to a deranged Captain Kirk with a light saber. But these Shatner- clones are about to learn a hard lesson . . . that the real William Shatner doesn't take crap from anybody. Not even himself.

    Belkin must begin each day with the task he calls The Service: visiting Christian chat-rooms to reply to users innocent questions with mocking answers. “Why do they call the taking of the communion ‘Mass?’”? Belkin124 responds: “They call it the Mass because after Jesus was crucified, a mass of people rushed forward to the cross and ate him. Now they eat the wafer to remember it.” At forty-seven, balding, and mildly agoraphobic, Belkin is a man without direction. He rarely leaves his apartment (he refers to the outside world as The Pounding), and when he must leave, he meticulously recounts the day in his Thunder Book; a journal where he lists all that repulsed him that day.But everything changes the day Belkin returns to his apartment to find the building ablaze along with the suspected murder of the apartment building’s maintenance man. As police question him, Belkin meets the mysterious Pernice Balfour, the alluring, religiously obsessed neighbor accused of the crime. Soon, Belkin has no choice but to come out of his shell (and his apartment) to try to clear her name. But the more Belkin investigates, the muddier things become. Wandering through San Francisco’s seedy Tenderloin district, Belkin begins to unravel the truth behind the murder, and encounters a bizarre series of characters and situations: "pansexual" crime-scene photographer, an idiot detective, and an all-knowing government operative.Whispering Bodies is comical offbeat exploration of the wisdom found in madness and the madness found in conventional life, all brought together in a classic tale of who-done-it.

    But instead of seeing the world, Bernard is captured by terrorists, becomes a key figure in secret drug wars, and, worse, doesn't once miss his secure American Dream.

    Harlan Wilson returns with another ferociously mindbending collection of short fiction. Masked in absurdity, these stories reveal the horrifying and hilarious faces of everyday life. Wilson tells of egg raids, hog rippers, monk spitters, fathers who take their children to pet stores to buy them whales, sociopaths who threaten to clothesline eternity, and the simple act of the story itself becoming a means of repetitive, endless torture. Put on your goat head, hop in your hovercraft, and take a ride with a juggernaut of modern imaginative fiction.

     So begins this epic cautionary tale of ambition and hubris. A bizarre mix of Lovecraft and hip-hop history, Kanye West—Reanimator reimagines the classic story "Herbert West—Reanimator" with everyone's favorite petulant genius cast in the titular role. In it, Kanye West attempts to reanimate a moribund hip-hop scene, only to come to the conclusion that his music is so powerful, it should be used to reanimate the dead. And who better to reanimate than those two legendary titans gone before their time—Biggie and Tupac? Hilarity and carnage ensue.

    But Andre would never eat his dear friend Louis. Andre only eats millionaires! Over a five star French meal of fine wine, organic vegetables and human flesh, a lunatic delivers a witty, chilling, disturbingly sane argument in favor of eating the rich. It's a darkly hilarious dessert to Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma and Foer's Eating Animals-a tale of good and evil, of rich and poor, of manners, madness and meat.

    All you need is some luck, and maybe a customized business suit coated in cockroaches. It could work. At least that's what Dean believed before the bombs actually dropped and his suit led him to murder a Very Important Man at the foot of a blackened obelisk. Now D.C. is looking awfully empty. Life on Earth is pretty much coming to an end. All of which leaves Dean with a single question-"What now?" The answer to that question will take him on an uncanny voyage across a newly nuclear America where he must confront the problems associated with loneliness, radiation, love, and an ever-evolving cockroach suit with a mind of its own. Dean's bizarre adventures mark the last chronicle of human existence, the final entries in our species' own. Extinction Journals

    So begins a terrifying game of cat and mouse as Kris Kringle searches The Land of Christmas for his abducted minions, unaware that he is to play an integral part in his foe's plans. Krampus is pissed at Santa after lending him his snowblower and never getting it back. His punishment? To build a Human Santapede long enough to stretch around The Land of Christmas, and at its helm, the jolly fat man himself. Can Santa - aided by his best foreman, Finklefoot - get his elves back, defeat Krampus, and save Christmas before it is too late, or will Krampus succeed in creating the ghastliest single-file organism the North Pole has ever seen? Ho-Ho-Holy Shit, things are about to get messy...

    In this world, you have nothing — even your limbs are rented, and you'll have to pay up every day. In this world, you must complete tasks assigned to you by the System or be fined and stripped of everything, including your arms and legs. In this world, you're under unrelenting supervision. But in dark corners hidden from the System's watchful eye, violence, brutality, and lawlessness abound.In this world, you're assigned a number. You're a volitional Nullform. Now it's up to you to adapt to this reality and try to survive without ending up crippled. Just don't mess up, or you'll be wishing you were dead as you dig yourself deeper into an endless pit of debt. This world will not take pity on you. You'll have to work tirelessly to earn the right to live another day…Read the first book in a new series from the author who brought you Clan Dominance: The Sleepless Ones.An author who helped create the cult LitRPG genre.An author who never ceases to amaze!