When a Maori family moves into number 14, the local cranks assume they are Middle Eastern terrorists hell-bent on destroying the Australian way of life. Rumour has it that they plan to turn their house to face Mecca.This sets off an extraordinary chain of events that embroils the entire neighbourhood as well as cynical media figures, bumbling anti-terrorist police, and a gang of white supremacists with a radical plan to wake up the country and ‘preserve Australian values’. At the centre of it all is Gordon, a retired widower, who just wants a bit of peace and quiet.Deadly Kerfuffle is a smart, riveting and incredibly funny novel inspired by actual letters to the editor in a local newspaper. Through biting satire and a cast of unforgettable characters, it’s an insight into the kind of paranoia that could only ever blossom in the quietest and safest of places.

    Smella Rosepetal must find a millionaire husband to finance her baby’s heart transplant. She flies home to her deputy father’s ranch in Pitchforks, Texas, where she falls in love with Deadward Forest, a wealthy environmentalist vampire. When a deranged murderer is on the loose in Pitchforks, killing romance heroines, Deadward assumes Smella would be safer without him. Smella turns to her childhood friend, Snake Long, for comfort. But Snake doesn’t have the money to save her baby, so Smella places herself in peril in a desperate hunt for a rich husband. Time is running out for Smella’s baby, and she must escape from the Australian Outback and face down Flabio, an overweight and disgruntled, aspiring cover model, plus enraged vampire wives and their homosexual, vampire, cowboy husbands, a jealous were-gerbil, James Bond, a drunk rodeo clown and Smella’s strange boyfriend who wants to drain her blood, yet is repulsed by her smell. ROMANCE NOVEL—the unabridged, unauthorized comedic look at the bestselling vampire series that will leave you wondering who the hell ever believed vampires could “sparkle.” And you’ll laugh…all the way to the bathroom!

    Whether he's assisting trauma surgeons who are singing “Take me out to the ballgame” while removing a well-placed iconic symbol of America’s greatest past time, learning how fast he can run after being shot at by an angry couple who called for an ambulance, working with a prankster-loving urologist who demonstrates how bladder problems were diagnosed before modern urinalysis, or screaming like a little girl while doing night rounds with a dead flashlight on a psychiatric ward, Cyra’s comedic style of storytelling will make your cheeks sore. Emergency Laughter: Stories of Humor Inside Ambulances and Operating Rooms shows why most health care professionals have such a twisted sense of humor and how critical laughter is to the survival of both patient and care giver.

    It will not take you more than an hour to benefit from the wisdom of the work. This book makes it possible for you to have a blueprint to change your habits for the better. Read this book to be more disciplined and successful in life.

    Just when he thinks all he’ll have to show for his life is the barbecue shop and street life, a beautiful, alluring woman walks in and steals his heart.As love comes in like a whirlwind can Andru live the best of both worlds with Pumae or will a figment from his past make him choose.

    (Can supply own time travel machine if required.)When Horace Tweed places an advertisement in a national magazine, the last thing he expects is to be commissioned to travel back through time in search of the long extinct Holey* Snail.But this isn’t just any old snail. The helix pertusa is possessed of an extraordinary and highly desirable property, and Horace’s quest leads him and his co-adventurers to Ancient Greece and a variety of near-death encounters with beings both mythological and not so mythological.Meanwhile, Detective Chief Inspector Harper Collins has her hands full trying to track down a secret order of fundamentalist monks whom she suspects of committing a series of murders – the same monks who are determined to thwart Horace in his... ...Quest for the Holey Snail. (* This isn’t a spelling mistake. The Holey Snail is so called because there are hundreds of tiny holes all over its shell.)PLEASE NOTE: Quest for the Holey Snail is not part of Rob Johnson’s Lifting the Lid series.

    The question is: How do you stop something that you can't see? AN ANCIENT DISEASE re-emerges in the heart of New York City—a deadly bacteria that gave rise to the Black Death. Maggie De Luca, an epidemiologist who is fighting her own demons, works to uncover clues to contain the disease, but is always one step behind—her fate determined by the flip of a coin. Microbiologist Michael Harbinger believes he can make a vaccine that can stop the disease, but to do so would require an elusive plant that only grows in a remote region of the Amazon. With the help of J.D. Stallings, a paleoanthropologist, and Samantha Boutroux, a bacteriologist, they set out to find the plant that holds the key before the Red Death pandemic grips the world—or has the First Horseman of the Apocalypse, Plague, already opened the gates to our final annihilation? The mother of all plagues is back . . . Let the death toll begin . . . “RING AROUND THE ROSIE, POCKETS FULL OF POSIES, ASHES . . . ASHES . . . WE ALL FALL DOWN.” Praise for The Red Death"The Red Death is a bone chilling look at a worst case scenario plague outbreak. You’ll want to keep some hand sanitizer and a medical mask nearby as you enjoy this pandemic medical thriller." --Jennifer Jackson, Indiestoday.com*"It is a story that is chilling because of how easily we could see this happening today. Excellent read." -- Terri, Mayhem and Magic*"The Red Death is a thrilling tale of a deadly pandemic. Recommended." --Robert D. Yee, Monster Librarian*"What scared me the most about this book was that it could happen in real life. There is always a threat of a pandemic sweeping the country and then the world — scary stuff." --Jolie, Read With Me *What Amazon reviewers are saying:*"Even better than the first part of The Stand." *"Gripping"*"This is the best pandemic novel I have ever read."*"A very plausible story line! SCARY!"* "Read this, you won't be disappointed."*"It was hard to put down." --Amazon.co.uk reader*"Loved every minute of it."*"That the book is extremely well structured only adds to the intensity."*"This book had engaging characters, lots of action and a good plot."*"The characters were believable." --Amazon.co.uk reader*"I will be looking out for more by this author."*"...expertly written characters and a story structure that keeps the reader on edge."*"If you like books of this genre I am sure you will enjoy this one."*"...being invested in the characters and wanting them to live is what drives a lot of the reader's drive to keep going to the next chapter."*"Pulls you into a story of people, and life. ."*"The first instances of the spread of the disease were unusual and gave the start of the book a slightly different twist." --Amazon.co.uk reader*"...Birgitte Märgen is able to write each person with a distinct voice and personality so no two people feel the same; no matter how long the reader spends with that individual." * Plague, Medical Thriller, Pandemic, Thriller, Fiction, Medical Fiction, Mystery, Horror, Action & Adventure

    His first mission: save a gazillion lives. When young Kevin has a chance encounter with a dying alien, he discovers not only that humans aren't alone in the universe, but that this encounter propels him into the middle of an intergalactic war. Now at the frontlines of a massive, far far away war, he’s sent to the last remaining ship of the losing side. The crew of the ship? All dead. His mission is simple: he must save the good guys from certain doom. From College reject to War Master, Kevin learns he must adapt quickly or billions will die.

    To take stock of WHERE HE IS and WHERE HE'S AT in order to figure out how BEST to get the MOST out of what he BELIEVES are the BEST YEARS yet to come.His typically positive and upbeat journey involves ONE HUNDRED DAYS of contemplation, research, focus, frustration and DECISION MAKING while SECRETLY:*Training for The London MARATHON*Bringing back his cult Nineties TV show TFI FRIDAY*And the small matter of suddenly being asked to take over TOP GEAR.HEALTH, LOVE, MARRIAGE, SEX, DEATH and even RELIGION all come under his witty microscope as he poses the conundrum - MIDLIFE: CRISIS vs OPPORTUNITY ?There can only be one winner.

    He is the undoubted King of the Ayrshire Mobile Disco scene, controlling and ruling the competition with an iron fist. From birthdays to barn dances, Franny is the man to call. He has even played 'My Boy Lollipop' at a funeral and got away with it. But the future is uncertain. A new partnership is coming and is threatening to destroy the big man's Empire ... Bobby Cassidy and Joey Miller have been best mates since primary school. Joey is an idealist; Bobby just wants to get laid and avoid following his brother Gary to the Falklands. A partnership in their new mobile disco venture seems like the best way for Bobby to do both at the same time. With compensation from an accident at work, Bobby's dad Harry invests in the fledgling business. His marriage to Ethel is coming apart at the seams and the disco has given him something to focus on. Tragic news from the other side of the world brings all three strands together in a way that no one could have predicted. The Last Days of Disco is a eulogy to the beauty and power of the 45rpm vinyl record and the small but significant part it played in a small town Ayrshire community in 1982. Witty, energetic and entirely authentic, it's also heartbreakingly honest, weaving tragedy together with comedy with uncanny and unsettling elegance.

    Within weeks, the virus spread throughout the continent and, within a month, the world. The government is working with experts to create a vaccine, but for now you are left to your own devices to survive for an indeterminate amount of time. This government-issued handbook contains vital information to help you survive in this unprecedented, hostile environment. Topics covered included:*Locating safe zones*Assembling a survival kit*Choosing weapons*Electing a leader*Securing a building*Communicating with survivors*Dealing with carriers of the virus*Finding supplies*Traveling through danger zones*Re-killing zombies*And much more

    Now, one half of the duo, Ethan Coen, adds playwriting to his eclectic bio. In these three short plays that ran to sold-out audiences Off-Broadway in 2008, the theme is hell–both on earth and in the hereafter.In “Waiting,” a man faces an uncertain future in an uncertain location that seems to be some kind of waiting room. The anxiety and despair hark back to dramas of the fifties–Sartre, Beckett, Pinter.“Four Benches” depicts an unlikely meeting in a steam room between a straight-talking Texan and an uptight Brit. Both men learn from the encounter, though only one survives it.In “Debate,” the cantankerous god of the Old Testament roundly abuses the mealymouthed god of the New. His profanity and ill humor receive a startling comeuppance, and further reversals and changes of point of view lead to a denouement that is no more preposterous than anything else in the play.Clever, provocative, and as engaging as the best fiction, these plays showcase yet another talent of one of our most celebrated contemporary writers.

    That is to say that he loves and cares for his family, is successful in his career, popular around the neighborhood, can dress himself (often without injury) and is capable of reasonable thought. Demographically, however, he functions like a 4-year-old that can't quite master the intricacies of the potty. It isn't his fault. He studied hard and got a college degree. He works hard and earns a comfortable living. But, like all other dumb white husbands, he leads a dual life; competent member of society by day, helpless male by night, weekends and holidays. He has served for years as the nervous legal department-approved foil of commercials, TV and movies. And, for this service, we thank him. No one has ever cared to look inside the mind of the dumb white husband - probably for a fear of what we might find - but, if we took a minute to consider it, we may see that he's not as dumb as we all think. But, he probably is. In this adventure, Dumb White Husband goes to the grocery store.NOTE: This title is also available as part of the Dumb White Husband collected edition, Dumb White Husband for President (and other stories)