Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done


Jon Acuff - 2017
    I’ve started a million things, but I never finish them. Why can’t I finish?According to studies, 92 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail. You’ve practically got a better shot at getting into Juilliard to become a ballerina than you do at finishing your goals. For years, I thought my problem was that I didn’t try hard enough. So I started getting up earlier. I drank enough energy drinks to kill a horse. I hired a life coach and ate more superfoods. Nothing worked, although I did develop a pretty nice eyelid tremor from all the caffeine. It was like my eye was waving at you, very, very quickly. Then, while leading a thirty-day online course to help people work on their goals, I learned something surprising: The most effective exercises were not those that pushed people to work harder. The ones that got people to the finish line did just the opposite— they took the pressure off. Why? Because the sneakiest obstacle to meeting your goals is not laziness, but perfectionism. We’re our own worst critics, and if it looks like we’re not going to do something right, we prefer not to do it at all. That’s why we’re most likely to quit on day two, “the day after perfect”—when our results almost always underper­form our aspirations. The strategies in this book are counterintuitive and might feel like cheating. But they’re based on studies conducted by a university researcher with hundreds of participants. You might not guess that having more fun, eliminating your secret rules, and choosing something to bomb intentionally works. But the data says otherwise. People who have fun are 43 percent more successful! Imagine if your diet, guitar playing, or small business was 43 percent more suc­cessful just by following a few simple principles. If you’re tired of being a chronic starter and want to become a consistent finisher, you have two options: You can continue to beat yourself up and try harder, since this time that will work. Or you can give yourself the gift of done.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and It's All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things From Taking Over Your Life


Richard Carlson - 1997
    and it's all small stuff is a book that shows you how to keep from letting the little things in life drive you crazy. In thoughtful and insightful language, author Richard Carlson reveals ways to calm down in the midst of your incredibly hurried, stress-filled life. You can learn to put things in perspective by making the small daily changes he suggests,including advice such as "Think of your problems as potential teachers"; "Remember that when you die, your 'In' box won't be empty"; and "Do one thing at a time." You should also try to live in the present moment, let others have the glory at times, and lower your tolerance to stress. You can write down your most stubborn positions and see if you can soften them, learn to trust your intuitions, and live each day as if it might be your last. With gentle, supportive suggestions, Dr.Carlson reveals ways to make your actions more peaceful and caring, with the added benefit of making your life more calm and stress-free.

Reflections Of A Man


Amari Soul - 2015
    For the women, it encourages you to recognize the true value of your love, to reevaluate your standards and to make the decision that you will no longer settle for anything less than someone who loves you, respects you, and truly makes you happy. For the men, this book will, not only encourage you to learn more about the emotional needs of a woman, but it will provide you with clear insight into what a woman truly needs from you, emotionally, to be happy. Through beautiful words of poetry, powerful quotes and advice full of wisdom, Mr. Amari Soul creates a truly enlightening experience for both men and women with Reflections Of A Man. On one hand, women gain a new perspective on the true value of their love, raise their standards and refuse to settle. On the other hand, men become better equipped to, not only understand a woman’s emotional needs, but they are better able to meet or exceed their new standards as well.

The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World


Desmond Tutu - 2013
    If you asked anyone what they thought was going to happen to South Africa after apartheid, almost universally it was predicted that the country would be devastated by a comprehensive bloodbath. Yet, instead of revenge and retribution, this new nation chose to tread the difficult path of confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation.Each of us has a deep need to forgive and to be forgiven. After much reflection on the process of forgiveness, Tutu has seen that there are four important steps to healing: Admitting the wrong and acknowledging the harm; Telling one's story and witnessing the anguish; Asking for forgiveness and granting forgiveness; and renewing or releasing the relationship. Forgiveness is hard work. Sometimes it even feels like an impossible task. But it is only through walking this fourfold path that Tutu says we can free ourselves of the endless and unyielding cycle of pain and retribution. The Book of Forgiving is both a touchstone and a tool, offering Tutu's wise advice and showing the way to experience forgiveness. Ultimately, forgiving is the only means we have to heal ourselves and our aching world.

Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It?


Kim Holderness - 2021
    We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don’t we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it?For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight; a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their ten most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and wrap up hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way. In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how touse “magic words” to navigate conflictbreak free of secret contractsbanish the three Ds—distraction, denial, and delaycarry their own individual baggage while helping each other deal with theirs Penn and Kim want you to know you’re not alone. Everybody fights. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it.

Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life


Gary John Bishop - 2016
    The truth is, most of it fails to capture what it truly takes to overcome our greatest barrier to a greater life…ourselves. What if everything you ever wanted resided in you like a well of potential, waiting to be expressed? Unfu*k Yourself is the handbook for the resigned and defeated, a manifesto for real life change and unleashing your own greatness.

Shameless: A Sexual Reformation


Nadia Bolz-Weber - 2019
    And that's why in Shameless, Pastor Nadia sets out to reclaim the conversation for a new generation. In the spirit of Martin Luther, Bolz-Weber calls for a reformation of the way believers understand and express their sexuality. To make her case, Bolz-Weber draws on experiences from her own life as well as her parishoners', then puts them side by side with biblical narrative and theology to explore what the church has taught and about sex, and the harm that has often come as a result. Along the way, Bolz-Weber reexamines patriarchy, gender, and sexual orientation with candor but also with hope--because, as she writes, "I believe that the Gospel can heal the pain that even the church has caused."

The Art of Showing Up: How to Be There for Yourself and Your People


Rachel Wilkerson Miller - 2020
    What’s more, we’re living in an uncharted social landscape with new conventions on how to relate—one where actual phone calls are reserved for Mom (if anyone), “dropping in” is unheard-of, and “flaking out” is routine.The Art of Showing Up offers a roadmap through this morass to true connection with your friends, your family, and yourself. Author Rachel Wilkerson Miller teaches that “showing up” means connecting with others in a way that makes them feel seen and supported. And that begins with showing up for yourself: recognizing your needs, understanding your physical and mental health, and practicing self-compassion. Only then can you better support other people; witness their joy, pain, and true selves; validate their experiences; and help ease their burden. When “showing up” for others, it’s not the grandest gesture that matters most—it’s how close you come to meeting your loved ones where they really are.

You Are Awesome: How to Navigate Change, Wrestle with Failure, and Live an Intentional Life


Neil Pasricha - 2019
    For most of us, famine, plague, economic depression, and other life-threatening catastrophes are the stuff of history books. We’re living in an era with the highest-ever rates of longevity, education, and wealth. Cars drive us home as our phones entertain us before we arrive to food delivered to the front door. We have it all! But there’s just one side effect. We no longer have the tools to handle failure...or even perceived failure. When we fall, we lie on the sidewalk crying. When we spill, we splatter. When we crack, we shatter. We are turning into an army of porcelain dolls. A rude email from the boss means calling in sick. Only two likes on our post means we don’t have friends. Cell phones show us we’re never good enough. Yesterday’s butterflies are tomorrow’s panic attacks. Record numbers of students have clinical anxiety. And what about depression, loneliness, and suicide? All rising! What do we desperately need to learn? RESILIENCE. And we need to learn it fast. Read You Are Awesome to learn: • The single word that keeps your options open after failure • What every commencement speech gets wrong • 3 ways to dramatically accelerate your ability to learn and adapt • The 2-minute morning practice that helps eliminate worry • Why you need an Untouchable Day (and how to get one) • and much, much more... Because the truth is, you really are awesome.

Simply Feminine: Surprising Insights from Men


Morgan Wonderly - 2017
    Without the fear of political correctness, these men shared their hearts and souls about what they love and adore about women. The findings were surprisingly refreshing.As the world’s leading pioneer on femininity from the perspective of men, Morgan Wonderly mentors women to reclaim their true essence. After spending much of her life denying her own femininity, she had a chance conversation with a man that unexpectedly changed everything. His heartfelt words of affirmation about women struck a deep chord. They challenged everything she believed. To fathom the depths of this mystery, she embarked on a decade-long journey and thousands of discussions with men. In the process she rediscovered timeless truths about femininity from their perspective. In this book, she shares those revelations including a Seven Step Process that forever changed her life. They just might change yours too!

Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption


Daniel Jones - 2019
    A man's promising fourth date ends in the emergency room. A female lawyer with bipolar disorder experiences the highs and lows of dating. A widower hesitates about introducing his children to his new girlfriend. A divorcée in her seventies looks back at the beauty and rubble of past relationships.These are just a few of the people who tell their stories in Modern Love, Revised and Updated, featuring dozens of the most memorable essays to run in The New York Times "Modern Love" column since its debut in 2004.Some of the stories are unconventional, while others hit close to home. Some reveal the way technology has changed dating forever; others explore the timeless struggles experienced by anyone who has ever searched for love. But all of the stories are, above everything else, honest. Together, they tell the larger story of how relationships begin, often fail, and--when we're lucky--endure.Edited by longtime "Modern Love" editor Daniel Jones and featuring a diverse selection of contributors--including Mindy Hung, Trey Ellis, Ann Hood, Deborah Copaken, Terri Cheney, and more--this is the perfect book for anyone who's loved, lost, stalked an ex on social media, or pined for true romance: In other words, anyone interested in the endlessly complicated workings of the human heart.

The Art of Manliness: Manvotionals


Brett McKay - 2011
    But then, through time, the art of manliness was lost.Now, after decades of excess and aimless drift, men are looking for something to help them live an authentic, manly life-a primer that can give their life real direction and purpose.This book holds the answers. To master the art of manliness, a man must live the seven manly virtues: ManlinessCourageIndustryResolutionSelf-RelianceDisciplineHonorEach chapter covers one of the seven virtues and is packed with the best classic advice ever written down for men. From the philosophy of Aristotle to the speeches and essays of Theodore Roosevelt, these pages contain the manly wisdom of the ages-poems, quotes, and essays that will inspire you to live life to the fullest and realize your complete potential.Learn the art. Change your life. Become a man.

The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature


Matt Ridley - 1993
    The Red Queen answers dozens of other riddles of human nature and culture -- including why men propose marriage, the method behind our maddening notions of beauty, and the disquieting fact that a woman is more likely to conceive a child by an adulterous lover than by her husband. Brilliantly written, The Red Queen offers an extraordinary new way of interpreting the human condition and how it has evolved.

Unfuck Your Brain: Using Science to Get Over Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Freak-Outs, and Triggers


Faith G. Harper - 2017
    Your brain knows it's not good to do these things, but it can't help it sometimes--especially if it's obsessing about trauma it can't overcome. That's where this life-changing book comes in. With humor, patience, science, and lots of good-ole swearing, Dr. Faith explains what's going on in your skull, and talks you through the process of retraining your brain to respond appropriately to the non-emergencies of everyday life, and to deal effectively with old, or newly acquired, traumas (particularly post-traumatic stress disorder).

How to Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People): Spiritual Advice for Modern Relationships


Meggan Watterson - 2015
    Told from the unique vantage points of authors Meggan Watterson and Lodro Rinzler, this book explores staying anchored in the foundation of self-love as you navigate the natural (and often stormy) cycle of a relationship. Their dual perspectives as teachers and scholars of Christian mysticism and Buddhism make for a rich and fascinating dialogue that covers everything from sex, self-worth, falling in (and out of) love, deep friendships, to breakups—and how to maintain an open heart through it all.   At its core, this book is about learning to love yourself no matter what. Meggan and Lodro suggest that you are worthy of love, both self-love and the love of others. They aren’t experts on how to get that man or lady to fall in love with you, nor are they experts on how to have “the perfect relationship.” They are spiritual teachers who know that relationships have a life of their own, and can speak to the human element of what it means to experience them fully. In the process, they share deeply personal, revealing, honest anecdotes and spiritual practices to assist you with the inevitable ebbs and flow of love in all its manifestations.