(Brought to you by the famed Dweezel and Pallie.)"[A] funny and clever little book... I like this version even better than the original story."Chytach18, Reviewer for OnlineBookClub.org"An amazing story, and hilariously funny to boot, perfect for kids and adults alike!"Angela, Amazon UK reader"It made me laugh. Grossed me out. Then makes you laugh some more."Thelma Coots, Amazon reader"One word : FUNNY! A new way of reading Snow White"Isienie V., Amazon reader*****Take your expectations for a fairy tale and throw them out the window! A noble prince? Lame. A humble princess? What a loser! A happy ending? You wish. This eBook is way better than all that. It will make you giggle, laugh, and ask for more. Either that, or it will make you scream for it all to stop. The only way to know is to read it. Download "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" now!The Funny Stories for Kids series, written/recorded by Dr. Dexter Dweezel and Professor Parnassus Pallie, is an ongoing effort to make fairy tales less crappy. "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" is the first in this series, with more to come.**Note: This story is not for babies. It can be crude, and has jokes about butts, poo, and drunk people. It also has a bit of cartoony violence. There is no swearing or sexual activity. If this story had a MPGG rating it would probably be PG, and would be comparable to a modern episode of the Simpsons.**

    Secrets dug up from the grave. The truth about vampires has been unearthed. These are the journals of an ageless woman, a hybrid half human, half "Pet Mer," (Sky Gods in ancient Egypt). A blood drinker from the ancients. Their story is scarce told, but Kesi's is all too clear... She appears a delusive goddess, wanting more than anything a family. Unable to bear children, and after the death of her husband, she travels the world searching for a way to share her bloodline ("creating" children, later known as "Vampyre"). She offers aid to those who need her. But her deep desire to have kin of her own blood is not met, until she comes across a Chinese alchemist named Yin - another of her race. Hope for a life with him is banished, however, by his dark desires to destroy all the world's hybrid offspring, to find a "cure" for the "blood drinking aberrations" created by those of his and Kesi's kind. Taking what she needs and leaving behind chaos, Kesi runs, always searching. Her everlasting quest takes her through history, from one continent to the next; from her home in Egypt, to China, Rome, Scotland, and finally France. But she is never able to outrun Yin, and eventually she must face her enemy and the darkness within herself in order to have that which she truly desires. Read her story, learn the truth behind the "myth" of what humans call the vampire, read about Kesi’s unique take on her species and those they create, and discover the mayhem and bloodshed caused by a man determined to put an end to vampires forever.

    Communication with the enigmatic aliens proves problematic. The Dhin suddenly depart, without explanation, leaving a few samples of their technology. Wide knowledge of these events would cause chaos. The powerful Coalition Security agency strives to maintain secrecy. As Coalition researchers explore the alien technology, their discoveries turn our understanding of physics inside out. Humanity faces numerous challenges. After multiple economic crises and subsequent collapses, the remaining viable nations joined together as the Coalition. Recent advancements in Artificial Intelligence then led to AI management of most economic and political affairs. Unfortunately, even AI are not perfect, and some volatility and conflict remain. Not everyone agrees the AIs are aligned with our best interests. Humanity now faces the seemingly insurmountable challenge of unlocking the secrets of the alien technology without advice or assistance. This is a new release of an edition originally published by John L. Clemmer.

     Jersey born, Katherine, is a successful business woman living and working in London. She’s estranged from her husband and family and hiding from the pain of failed motherhood. When a major murder and child abuse investigation launches in Jersey, the news shocks the island and brings the world’s media to its idyllic shores. As the island of Jersey faces up to its hidden past, Katherine is forced to face up to hers. A letter arrives from the dying mother of her teenage friend – the friend whose death Katherine caused 32 years before. She knows she must return home and tell the truth; but Katherine isn’t the only one with secrets… Will the truth heal or destroy her? Will she ever come to terms with what drove her away from the man she loved and the sister that needs her?

    In more ways than one.Music wonder Rowena Krebs is so huge she's now in the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame. Right at the top of Musica Records. Her old rival, now best friend, Topaz Rossi is a magazine guru in New York, heading up American Magazines. Bright and energetic as the city itself.But things are changing: Rowena senses a shift both in business and on the home front. And Topaz can't work out why the circulation figures are dropping. Something's up. Paradise is a place that can bring trouble...

    Six years later, the crime remains unsolved, and it’s the sudden death of her estranged grandmother - as well as Iris’s subsequent introduction to the prickly, yet entrancingly enigmatic Heathcliffe Monroe - that unlocks an even more complicated mystery. Between the lingering shadows of long-lost family secrets, and an overwhelming freefall into an entirely unexpected new world - the only guarantee that Iris has left is that there isn't one.A 2016 Kindle Scout Selection.

    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

    The RAF is on the verge of defeat, the Royal Navy near mutiny.In an underground bunker, Churchill and the British commanders await the onslaught. Their plan to throw back Hitler's army is about to be put to the test.Churchill is confident they can throw back the enemy.But not all his enemies are abroad.

    With guns and fire, humans have turned them into a mere memory. But Crewe Chase is alive and well. With dead parents and no family, Crewe Chase is alone in the world. His grief has transformed to bitterness, and that bitterness has turned into hate. Now that he’s of age, he’s applied to Barbota University, a magical castle where he can learn to be a tremendous wizard. And join the fight. When he arrives, he knows he’s not interested in a profession of magical farming or teaching. With unique abilities that no one else possesses, he wants to be on the front lines of the battle. He wants to avenge those he’s lost—at any cost. They say the Jet Reapers are an elite society of the finest witches and wizards, all intent on restoring power to the magical community. Their views are considered to be radical—sometimes terrifying. And Crewe Chase wants to join them.

    Some will like it.... some wont but its all fiction and TJ just wanted a good time for his last summer back home. NOTE ... Uncle Peter cheats on his wife, so if you will have issues with this, then this is not the book for you. It's all fiction, with some youthful exuberance. We were all young at some time in our lives and we may have made mistakes too.One last wild summer before college. TJ always spent the summer with his uncle since he was 15. He looked forward to spending time with Uncle Peter and all the adventures he got to experience. But now he was 18 and this summer was going to be different; he had a girlfriend whom he could not bear to leave behind. During those past summers, TJ had been the sole witness and confidant to Uncle Peter and his endless shenanigans with the different women in his life. As such, TJ felt Uncle Peter owed him and it was time to collect; it was time for Uncle Peter to return the favor and cover for TJ. To TJ's delight, Uncle Peter was more than eager to comply and he even came up with the perfect plan for the two of them to spend time together without TJ leaving his girlfriend's side. Follow the wicked adventures of this duo as TJ finds himself at a crossroads between being an honorable man or the ladies' man his uncle groomed him to be. Was it worth it when summer ended? That will depend on whose side you are on.Some readers focus on Uncle Peter's cheating ways and less on the crux of the story which is, the unique bond between a nephew and and uncle as well as your sins will find you out.

    Six years later, in order to win his freedom and return home, Ahiram enters the elite Games of the Mines. Pursued relentlessly by his enemies and driven to the limit of his endurance, Ahiram unwittingly awakens a dormant fury within him, and its resonance is caught by a hidden malice that turns the Games into a living nightmare. Refusing to submit to a cruel tyranny, Ahiram must face a harrowing death in the bowels of the earth. Still, a glimmer of hope remains. For deep within the mines, between stone and gold, a power–unlike anything the world has seen–quietly calls his name.

    Drews unfolds the drama brilliantly, right through to the sentencing of the husband to a life in prison and even an afterword from the mistress apologizing years later. Sent to prison, the husband and mistress still can't let go and she becomes a prison bride.Readers are left to decide for themselves if it was murder, suicide, or manslaughter by neglect. Run at Destruction is lust, murder, and obsession delivered with the beat of a runner's heart, as the theme of running is woven throughout. The book grabs at a large cross-section of readers because everyone can relate to the desire and often disaster that comes with affairs.This is true-crime court drama and author Drews exposes the characters to such a depth that readers will feel like they are reading a novel, only, this really happened.

    No one has any idea how this pandemic happened; even the WHO is stuck for an effective cure. Just as the whole world is growing desperate for resolution and low in hope, unexpectedly, a grey alien visits the earth in December 2025—five years after the initial outbreak—claiming that it has the concrete cure for A-virus.Can humans believe the announcement from the grey alien? Who really is this grey alien? Where did it come from? What could the purpose of its visit to Earth be? Did the grey alien bring the first life to our planet? Does it have any influence on ancient architecture and the many great wonders of the Earth? Did Neil Armstrong meet the alien?If you’re a fan of sci-fi, don’t miss Paradox—an enthralling rendition!

    Douglas and his partner NYPD Detective Mark Zucarelli on the streets of New York City as they find themselves in the middle of raging drug wars.The Colombian Cartels are flooding the streets with cocaine. They are violent and ruthless criminals.The Mob has been cut out. What will they do?The FBI and the NYPD have an uneasy alliance.Who can be trusted?Does everyone have bad intent?Inspired by my years on the FBI-NYPD Drug Task Force, BAD INTENT will take you to the dark side of the drug wars.Peek into the hearts and minds of the FBI Agents and NYPD Detectives on the front lines.Do you have BAD INTENT?

    His hopes of inheriting his family's manor are dashed when Prince John takes power in his brother's absence. With a handful of men Sir Thomas is forced to travel to Sweden where he joins The Jarl Birger Brosa fighting the Estonians, Karelians and Slavs. Fighting in a the harsh environment of a Baltic winter makes Sir Thomas and his men stronger. There he learns of further treachery and dishonour among Bishops, Kings and Princes who value thrones more than men.