Regardless of religion, race, sex, sexuality or nationality. He hates all of you. Basically, you are fucked." God is pissed off. He has run out of patience with humans and decided that our time is over. We've had our chance and its back to the drawing board. "Fuck the lot of them" is his newest gospel. Mo, and Jay, best Friends who've fucked up in the past, beg him for one more chance to get the humans back on track. Alongside Mr Saluzar, the head of a global charity foundation, and Nick, The Fallen Angel, they hurtle towards Armageddon and their one chance to prove God wrong. They have seven days to save us. On The Seventh Day contains strong language and religious irreverence which some may find offensive. Irreverent dark humour from the author of Lanarkshire Strays and the dEaDINBURGH series.

    He can see into the mind of everyone he meets - a useful ability when you're job is to destroy celebrities on live television.But when he stumbles upon a hundred-year-old photograph in which he sees himself as a boy, Elliot's gift spirals out of control.His only hope to retain his sanity lies in the hands of a group of misfits who claim to have lived before...and who know Elliot very well.Can Elliot discover the secret of the photograph, and of who he really is, before he loses his mind forever?

     Hard-hitting newspaper journalist turned stay-at-home mum and part-time failing food columnist, Marnie is wondering when her life went so wrong. While her husband Matt’s career takes off, she’s left with the impossible task of pairing socks and locating Lego. His late nights at the office are turning into late nights who knows where else and they haven’t had a proper conversation in weeks, sex in months, or a full night’s sleep in years. On the brink of losing everything when a fantasy about movie star Maddox Wolfe leads to a missed deadline and a disastrous case of food poisoning, Marnie becomes Mrs Make Believe: anonymous blogger, secret spiller, and voice of imperfect mums everywhere. However, Marnie Martin could never have imagined that her movie star daydream would walk off the screen and into her reality, turning her already muddled world totally on its head. Will Marnie find happiness in the arms of the (literal) man of her dreams? Or will she find that true love is just make believe?

    1965.  War's found himself deep in the glamorous yet lethal world of international espionage. Unhappy with both the treachery and restrictive dress-code, when a name from the past reappears in his life War realises he must risk everything to keep the world safe once again. This short story follows on from the How To Be Dead series and continues the tale of everybody's favourite grumpy Horseman of the Apocalypse...  What Amazon readers are saying about the How To Be Dead Comedy Fantasy Series: ★★★★★ “Dave Turner is a funny man and ‘How To Be Dead’ is a brilliant read.”★★★★★ “If Neil Gaiman and Simon Pegg sat down to write a story together they might come up with something like this.”★★★★★ “Hilarious and unexpectedly moving.”★★★★★ "Laughs and excitement combined!"★★★★★ “Laugh out loud funny… It’s been a while since an author has made me laugh more than Pratchett does.”★★★★★ "If you like Tom Holt, Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, Dave Turner's books will fit perfectly into your collection."

    He doesn't know by whom, where or why. He doesn't know his parents. All he wants is a quiet life and a family experience. The fates conspire against him.Mark OneMark Midway is adopted by two scientists and is reared in a genetic research laboratory. Nine men, ex-military, are on a mission to destroy the laboratory and capture Mark. They are supported by four rogue CIA agents, who have commandeered a test drone and a missile at a Marine base. The team attacks the genetics laboratory complex before dawn, during a raging blizzard. Within hours, seven of the men are dead, one is severely wounded and one barely escapes. Mark also destroyed the drone with its missile. The next morning the four rogue agents are found dead from carbon monoxide poisoning, their killer unknown.Mark flees the laboratory complex, seeking safety and somewhere he can call home. The FBI is on his case and a mysterious organization offers him its assistance. Unknown killers are chasing him and he needs to protect himself and his friends. He needs to surviveMark TwoWe continue the story commenced in Mark One, with a young genetically engineered Mark Midway, FBI Special Agent MayAnn Freewell, and the mysterious Archimedes Schmidt who reports directly to the President. Mark—whose only desire is to be normal––shoots and kills two would-be kidnappers and discovers his search for peace again will elude him. Mark needs to survive. All he wants is a normal life.Schmidt works with FBI Special Agent Freewell to investigate a secret organization—Cerberus––which is infiltrating the FBI, the US Army, and other government departments with genetically engineered humans. Schmidt attempts to take control of Cerberus and discovers his personal relationships are not as reliable as he thought.Mark TwoSchmidt works with FBI Special Agent Freewell to investigate a secret organization—Cerberus––which is infiltrating the FBI, the US Army, and other government departments with genetically engineered soldiers. As Schmidt attempts to take control of Cerberus, he discovers his personal relationships are not as reliable as he thought.Mark ThreeA young woman escapes from a luxury yacht under attack by Chinese pirates in the Mediterranean. American law enforcement agencies collude and conspire to bring about an end to Cerberus, uncaring who gets in their way. Mark Midway faces deadly assaults by unknown enemies. A military helicopter is brought down over Washington by a Russian missile and General Archimedes Schmidt is in critical condition.Mark meets his sister and travels to London to rescue three more genetically engineered children. He finds romance, but he and his companions are under attack in both the US and England. Mark knows only one response - fight back.Mark FourMark Midway returns to America to re-build his home, which was destroyed by a gang of mercenaries. Police collude to effect his kidnap on his way back to Boston. His enemies include terrorists, a rogue NSA senior officer, a retired general, and a wealthy businessman; the latter wants control of all the Cerberus and LifeLong genetic engineering intellectual property. Cerberus teams in the US and UK rally to rescue Mark, but first they need to discover his whereabouts. General Schmidt and the NSA officer are enemies.

    It’s no mystery that there’s gonna be trouble. Especially for the criminals.A cozy mystery from International Bestselling Author Susan HarperBonnie Boone is headed to the big city to live with her childhood best friend, Katie Lou. . . and her goat. Some of the neighbors are less than thrilled to be sharing the apartment building with a goat. When one of those neighbors falls to his death, the girls find themselves at the top of the suspect list. Can the girls solve the murder mystery, clear their names, and keep Sylvester the goat out of trouble?Murder in the City is the first story in the Country Girl in the Big City Cozy Mystery series. If you like fast-paced mysteries with interesting characters, troublesome pets, and unexpected twists, you’re going to love the Country Girl in the Big City Cozy Mystery series.Download Murder in the City and see how a couple country girls, and a goat, get by in the big city!Always FREE on Kindle Unlimited

    She seems wonderful, and it is love at first sight, and they marry quickly. However, not all is rosy in the garden, and a lifetime’s baggage rears its ugly head. Pablo’s ex-wife re-establishes contact with him, and he desperately seeks to exorcise the demons of that betrayal and divorce, but he gets drawn into a double life. Then, one shocking day, Hellion goes to work, and inexplicably, and without warning, fails to return home. Now he has to try to understand another devastating, bewildering calamity.Til Death We Do Part, Too is a story that scrutinises the impact of unfinished business, baggage, emotional damage, and lingering love. It balances heart-breaking loss with resilience, disorientation with hope, and desperation and bitterness with true enduring love and understanding. There is much insight into the reality of relationships and the frailty of the human psyche. It is told with immense depth of feeling, humour, and faith.

     But when a casual fling turns serious, will they both be down for the ride? Riley Pratt is content living her quiet, less-than-thrilling life in the city minding her own business. Due to her hectic work schedule and self-made career as one of Savannah's up-and-coming interior designers, she's learned to keep her thoughts to herself and her eyes on the prize-- a fruitful, shining career in design. Until Cameron Alden waltzes into town.Always thinking up his next cocky comeback, Cameron is arrogant and annoyingly charming in all the wrong ways. Heir to the largest whiskey distillery in the South, he prides himself on being well-endowed but also claims he's prudish as hell. Official word around town? He's Savannah's hottest bachelor. And he takes complete advantage of it.Which... isn’t Riley’s glass of rosé. Though she can feel sparks flying rampant when they’re together, will Riley give him a chance? Or is she too sure that Cameron's old habits will die hard, making her just another one-night stand?

    

    His job bores him and his love is unrequited. Very few people pay attention to Michael, and that suits him fine. Then one day, he finds himself the winner of the largest lottery in the history of Europe – €190,000,000! Under the weight of his new found wealth and fame, Michael’s life spirals out of control until he is forced to make a decision. A decision that will capture the imagination of the entire world…

    But he soon finds himself struggling to keep the peace between three feisty fellow judges who have very different views about how to do their job, and about how Charlie should do his.And as if that’s not enough, there’s the endless battle against the ‘Grey Smoothies’, the humourless grey-suited civil servants who seem determined to drown Charlie in paperwork and strip the court of its last vestiges of civilisation.No hope of a quiet life then for Charlie, and there are times when his real job – trying the challenging criminal cases that come before him – actually seems like light relief. If you like Rumpole of the Bailey, you'll love Walden of Bermondsey Praise for Walden of Bermondsey 'No one writes with more wit, warmth and insight about the law and its practitioners than Peter Murphy. He has no equal since the great John 'Rumpole' Mortimer' - David Ambrose'Though his exasperation is sometimes palpable, what triumphs over everything is his sense of humour. And it is the humour that makes Walden of Bermondsey such a delightful read. Think of him as what Rumpole would be like if he ever became a judge, and you get some idea of his self-deprecating wit and indomitable stoicism. Add a dash of Henry Cecil for his situation and AP Herbert for the fun he has with the law, and you get a sense of Peter's literary precedents' - Paul Magrath

    Now it’s up to Sam, who’s saved his friend's neck before, to negotiate with an underworld hit men and Mafioso, in order to prevent his friend from winding up dead.As usual, Sam and Elena still find time to enjoy the good life, but as Sam’s sleuthing draws him closer to the truth, he realizes his friend might not be the only one in trouble… Rich with clever twists and sparkling scenery, Murder in the Med is the ultimate summer holiday read. *** Murder in the Med was previously published as The Corsican Caper ***

    And it is Modi-led India that has this high honour. Prime Minister Modi rolls out the red carpet for the aliens. He receives them at the airport, shows them the sights in Delhi and convinces them to invest in the Make in India campaign. The leader of the alien delegation even holds a broom to promote Swachh Bharat. But what is the real reason the aliens have come to India? Are they friends? Or will they turn foes? Read this hilarious, rib-tickling novel from the author of Unreal Elections to find out.

    

    Jarvis may be an all-round irritant, but he's harmless & deep down he's got a heart of gold. As his oldest (& only) friend reflects on his life with Jarvis Ham, he wonders what it would have been like if they had never met.