I am Daniel Handler, the author of this book. Did you know that authors often write the summaries that appear on their book's dust jacket? You might want to think about that the next time you read something like, "A dazzling page-turner, this novel shows an internationally acclaimed storyteller at the height of his astonishing powers.""Adverbs" is a novel about love -- a bunch of different people, in and out of different kinds of love. At the start of the novel, Andrea is in love with David -- or maybe it's Joe -- who instead falls in love with Peter in a taxi. At the end of the novel, it's Joe who's in the taxi, falling in love with Andrea, although it might not be Andrea, or in any case it might not be the same Andrea, as Andrea is a very common name. So is Allison, who is married to Adrian in the middle of the novel, although in the middle of the ocean she considers a fling with Keith and also with Steve, whom she meets in an automobile, unless it's not the same Allison who meets the Snow Queen in a casino, or the same Steve who meets Eddie in the middle of the forest. . . .It might sound confusing, but that's love, and as the author -- me -- says, "It is not the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done." This novel is about people trying to find love in the ways it is done before the volcano erupts and the miracle ends. Yes, there's a volcano in the novel. In my opinion a volcano automatically makes a story more interesting.

    I apparently missed out on that one.Because Damon Rose came, and instead of running, I got pregnant.DamonYes. I remember Chelsea Cross.I remember five years ago when she thought she could handle me.Proving her wrong was… enjoyable.With hair I wanted to fist. A mouth that only stopped when I kissed it. A body that I needed to press against the nearest wall and claim.And now she wants a job.A smart man would say “no”.Or, I could teach her the same lesson I taught her five years ago.She can’t even begin to handle me.Author’s Note: Buckle up for the ultimate bosshole in this steamy, workplace romantic comedy with a sassy heroine and a stubborn grump who wants to ruin her day.

    He is a man who can count all his friends on the fingers of one hand, whose lifelong difficulty with social rituals has convinced him that he is simply not wired for romance. So when an acquaintance informs him that he would make a “wonderful” husband, his first reaction is shock. Yet he must concede to the statistical probability that there is someone for everyone, and he embarks upon The Wife Project. In the orderly, evidence-based manner with which he approaches all things, Don sets out to find the perfect partner. She will be punctual and logical—most definitely not a barmaid, a smoker, a drinker, or a late-arriver.Yet Rosie Jarman is all these things. She is also beguiling, fiery, intelligent—and on a quest of her own. She is looking for her biological father, a search that a certain DNA expert might be able to help her with. Don's Wife Project takes a back burner to the Father Project and an unlikely relationship blooms, forcing the scientifically minded geneticist to confront the spontaneous whirlwind that is Rosie—and the realization that love is not always what looks good on paper.The Rosie Project is a moving and hilarious novel for anyone who has ever tenaciously gone after life or love in the face of overwhelming challenges.

    Yet here she was stuck in Jackrabbit Junction, Arizona, with an ornery old man, his smartass dog, and a parade of blue-haired babes. When Claire’s grandfather and his army buddies converge in the Arizona desert, it’s her thankless job to keep them out of trouble with the opposite sex. But when she finds a human leg bone and partners with a reluctant geotechnician to dig up secrets from the past, trouble finds her. She’s losing her heart. Worse, if she doesn’t stop digging, she could lose her life.

    With a bleak outlook on life, he finds himself teetering between two worlds—a seedy one where he’s not guaranteed to see his twenty-second birthday and a promising one that might bring him recognition for his talent. After a chance encounter with a peculiar waitress, he finds himself engulfed in a friendship he never knew he needed. However, his complex life and reckless decisions challenge their already complicated bond.

    When he walks in to Tessa Everett's bakery, he finds more than her desserts irresistible. Wanting to help her family's bakery continue to grow and thrive has been Tessa's main focus. But when Isaiah enters her life, his charm instantly sweeps her off her feet. The passion they share builds quickly, but will they be able to fight for love when difficulties in their lives arise?

    Getting my son to wear pants is one; dealing with my snoozefest of a job is another. Then there’s the Beast, my freeloading brother who’s worn a permanent dent in the couch at my new place. And no fairytale would be complete without a smoking hot prince, of course. Too bad he’s a complete ass. Everything in me screams to steer clear of Nate Murphy. Because, if life has taught me anything, there is no such thing as happily ever after.Nate:I may not be a superhero, but I do my best to come to the rescue when I’m needed. And, hey, I just moved halfway across the country after a single phone call from my mom. But being back home and taking on the responsibilities involved makes me a bit cranky at times. Unfortunately, the one time I completely lose my cool is in front of the hottest girl I’ve ever met. I’ve got my work cut out for me if I’m going to fix this. But I will fix this. I’ll be anything Laney Monroe needs me to be … a superhero, a prince, or just a guy she might take a chance on.PLEASE NOTE: This product is a republication of the 2016 version of THE FIX. It contains special content and bonus scenes for an enhanced reader experience.

    Xavier Ireland is a radio DJ who by night listens to the hopes, fears and regrets of sleepless Londoners and by day keeps himself very much to himself - until he is brought into the light by a one-of-a-kind cleaning lady and forced to confront his own biggest regret.

    He is a compulsive liar, a sickly weakling in a town famous for begetting brutish giants. Then Lucy accepts employment assisting the majordomo of the remote, foreboding Castle Von Aux. While tending to his new post as undermajordomo, he soon discovers the place harbours many dark secrets, not least of which is the whereabouts of the castle's master, Baron Von Aux. Thus begins a tale of polite theft, bitter heartbreak, domestic mystery, and cold-blooded murder.Undermajordomo Minor is an ink-black comedy of manners, an adventure, and a mystery, and a searing portrayal of rural Alpine bad behaviour, but above all it is a love story. And Lucy must be careful, for love is a violent thing.

      Denton Little’s Deathdate takes place in a world exactly like our own except that everyone knows the day on which they will die. For Denton, that’s in just two days—the day of his senior prom.   Despite his early deathdate, Denton has always wanted to live a normal life, but his final days are filled with dramatic firsts. First hangover. First sex. First love triangle—as the first sex seems to have happened not with his adoring girlfriend, but with his best friend’s hostile sister. (Though he’s not totally sure—see, first hangover.) His anxiety builds when he discovers a strange purple rash making its way up his body. Is this what will kill him? And then a strange man shows up at his funeral, claiming to have known Denton’s long-deceased mother, and warning him to beware of suspicious government characters. . . . Suddenly Denton’s life is filled with mysterious questions and precious little time to find the answers.

    Which is fair enough, since New York seems to hate her back. Just weeks after moving from Wisconsin to Manhattan, she receives the world's worst marriage proposal, stabs her boyfriend with a shrimp fork in a very public venue, and accidentally becomes notorious. And that’s before she gets mugged.At her wit's end, May washes up at a Packers bar in Greenwich Village, where she meets a surly, unhelpful guy who hates her shoes and calls her ex a douche.His name is Ben. He used to be a chef. Now he's a rooftop beekeeper with anger management issues. She wouldn't even like him, but he reminds her of home … and he knows where to find all the best food in the Village.She makes him laugh. He buys her tacos and cowboy boots. The longer they’re stuck together, the better May and Ben get along … and the harder they fall. TRULY is a quirky, modern New York love story unlike any you've read before.

    Off the field? He’s pure trouble. When his fondness for fast women and bar brawls lands him a suspension from the game, he’s prepared to take his punishment like a man. But since when does a suspension come with a live-in nanny?TV baking maven Belinda West is the epitome of home-made hospitality, on-screen and off. The personal is the professional when you’re selling the good life, after all. But when her wedding day implodes in front of a live studio audience, Bel’s career goes into a death spiral. She’ll do anything to save it, even take charge of soccer’s most famous bad boy. To hell with the morals clause in his contract; James isn’t about to shape up for some knock-off Mary Poppins. But since when does Mary Poppins laugh like a naughty angel and smell like sugar cookies? He’s not looking for love but that kiss of hers is practically perfect in every way. And James has a powerful taste for trouble.

    Finished with college, she should have been planning her wedding. After all, Ginny and Josh were made for each other—everyone said so. Except the love of her life didn't agree. Now Ginny is back in her hometown, unwillingly single, and stuck in a dead-end job. When she discovers she's pregnant, Ginny is convinced her life is ending. Instead of planning a future with Josh, she's learning the truth about morning sickness, juggling bills, and seeing just how far designer jeans can stretch.Her life-plan never included dating again (not even with her too-hot new boss), or being a single mother at 23. Now, with the help of her best friends, Annie and Jen, Ginny must try to re-imagine—and rebuild—a life she never wanted.

    NOBODY MESSES WITH HIS LIBRARIAN. . . Who killed Michael Vanderhorst’s maker? It’s a darn good question. But when the trail brings Michael to hellishly sunny Phoenix, Arizona, his biggest problem soon becomes a cute little librarian he can’t seem to stay away from. He’s never met a bigger danger magnet! Even her book cart has it out for her. And is that the drug cartel following her around, too? “Dear God, woman! What have you gotten yourself into?”Things go from bad to worse when local vampires won’t play nice.Can this four-hundred-year-old vampire keep his librarian safe and himself out of hot water? Can he bring his maker’s killer to justice? Yesterday, he would’ve said yes. But yesterday, he didn’t have a strange connection with a librarian. Yesterday, people weren’t trying to kill her.

    For Lizzie Brown, that's just the beginning. Soon her hyperactive terrier starts talking, and her long-lost biker witch Grandma is hurling Smuckers jars filled with magic. Just when she thinks she's seen it all, Lizzie learns she's a demon slayer -- and all hell is after her.Of course, that's not the only thing after her. Dimitri Kallinikos, a devastatingly handsome shape-shifting griffin needs Lizzie to slay a demon of his own. But how do you talk a girl you've never met into going straight to the underworld? Lie. And if that doesn't work, how dangerous could a little seduction be...?