Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    With their older brother next in line to inherit the throne, the future of the kingdom was secure.But appearances—and rivals—can be deceiving. When Eden’s king and crown prince are killed by assassins, Eden desperately needs a monarch, but the line of succession is no longer clear. With a ruling council scheming to gain power, Carys and Andreus are faced with only one option—to take part in a Trial of Succession that will determine which one of them is worthy of ruling the kingdom.As sister and brother, Carys and Andreus have always kept each other safe—from their secrets, from the court, and from the monsters lurking in the mountains beyond the kingdom’s wall. But the Trial of Succession will test the bonds of trust and family.With their country and their hearts divided, Carys and Andreus will discover exactly what each will do to win the crown. How long before suspicion takes hold and the thirst for power leads to the ultimate betrayal?

    You are fond of sending shitstorms my way. I lost my parents and grew up with one relative after another. A few months into my marriage, I discovered my husband in my best friend’s bed. Well, guess what? You made me one heck of a survivor! The joke's on you. Now this ‘hot’ Doctor you sent my way-the one who moved in next door to my stepbrother--don’t think I will be fooled by his charm like everyone else who is eating out of his hand. His smart quips, teasing words and piercing gazes do not scare me. I see him for the man because of whom I experienced several ‘firsts’--my first accident, my first ride in an ambulance, and not proud to say it, but my first arrest! I may not be able to get even with you Life, but I will get even with the Doc! It should be easy for he does have a habit of popping up wherever I go. Yours insincerely, Danika

    When things go from bad to worse, her family whisks her away to New York, where she meets the gorgeous, guitar-strumming Noah. Suddenly Penny is falling in love - and capturing every moment of it on her blog.But Noah has a secret too. One that threatens to ruin Penny's cover - and her closest friendship - forever.

    It chronicles their experiences in parallel over the course of six years, unfolding the independent challenges they face while struggling to survive worlds apart from each other. This book club pick inspires readers to see that love, friendship, and faith can survive in spite of the most terrible circumstances.Dani and Keely imagined that life was more magical than others believed. If they had to be summed up, their one plus one would equal three. Together, they became something greater. It was twin sisters against the world. But the world had different plans. The man followed them to their secret tree house that unusually warm day in September. He only came for one, there and gone in the blink of an eye. Satan’s Garden takes you on the six-year journey of two sisters who learn what it means to survive. It’s a story of resiliency, hope, and above all, a bond that cannot be taken away. It teaches us how quickly life can change and yet how much of it we can change ourselves.

     Her family massacred, her home destroyed, she escapes with nothing but her mother’s heirloom and the desire for vengeance. When she’s found by Dormael, a Warlock of the Conclave, she learns that her mother’s keepsake—the very reason her family was killed—holds the power to unleash boundless destruction. Dormael and Shawna must flee for their lives before a vengeful enemy and guard against the deadly secret it seeks to unearth. Some secrets are best left buried, and vengeance must be pulled from the fists of the gods. With danger closing in around them, Shawna and Dormael are left with little choice. Will they escape, or will they drown beneath a tide of blood? From book two, The Knife in the Dark:Sanctuary beckons, but hides a deadly secret within. Dormael and D’Jenn bring a dangerous artifact home to the Conclave, hoping to answer the riddle behind an ancient mystery. But their homecoming only raises more questions as they discover an undercurrent of lies beneath the surface—lies that have been eating at the foundation of the Conclave itself, and subverting all they’ve sworn to uphold. Caught in a web of treachery, they must uncover the truth to free themselves, and keep an ancient weapon from falling into the wrong hands. To survive, Dormael and D’Jenn may have to sacrifice everything. With their home crumbling around them, they’re forced to make a dreadful choice. Will they navigate the waters of intrigue steeping the Conclave in turmoil, or be crushed by the cold heels of their enemies?From book three, The Old Man of the Temple:An archaic power awakens, but the shadows of antiquity conceal a terrible truth. Fugitives from the Conclave, Dormael and his friends flee with the armlet in their possession. Hounded by their former allies, they undertake a dangerous trek to an ancient ruin—a place where the only things older than the stones are the secrets buried beneath them. Pain and darkness wait in the halls of the dead, but something worse may be closing in from behind. With evil stirring, the fate of the world hangs in the balance. Will Dormael and his friends uncover the mystery of the artifact, or be destroyed by those who wish its power for themselves? For Dormael, D’Jenn, and Shawna, failure could mean the destruction of everything they know. The war is just beginning, and the gods will weigh the price in blood.

    Experience the incredible exploits of this young elk as he grows to become a great leader of his kind. His life is one of challenge and near tragedy as he struggles to survive the often violent life that is nature. Under the guidance of great bulls and mysterious spirit guides, this brave young bull grows to understand the never-ending circle of life and the oneness that he and all living things share. Enter the brutally honest world that is nature, and walk the journey of this courageous young bull as by his grandeur he brings all four-legged ones to a great oneness with their most feared enemy, man. You will laugh and cry as this young elk grows to become that which you an I hope someday to be.

    Whitaker's Millionaire Wives Club are back for a third season of explosive lies, forbidden sex, and scandals like you've never seen before!Step into the world of cable TV's hit reality show and meet new bride and new mother Milan, who finally has everything she's ever dreamed of. Problem is her perfect life doesn't work for TV. What will she do when the producer threatens to fire her? Editor-in-chief Chaunci isn't feeling the fame and the last thing she needs is to share the spotlight with her worst enemy, newcomer Journee. Socialite Journee expected her eighty-two-year-old husband to only live four days past their wedding night, but it's been four years. And just when it seems that he's ready to meet his maker, his son--Journee's ex-lover--shows up. Hair care mogul Vera is struggling with her failing marriage and the last thing she needs is her drug-addicted mother to further ruin her life or her image. Jaise is finally standing by her man. But will she live the life she thinks or will it cost her everything?

    That lasts until a mysterious note arrives in her mailbox: Your mother didn’t die of cancer.
 And your father isn’t who you think he is. With her brother away with his fiancée and Alastair Stone on the other side of the world, Verity sets off on her own to track down the note’s sender. But finding the secrets of murder and betrayal buried in her past isn’t the worst part. Someone doesn’t want her to know the truth—and they’re willing to kill to make sure she never learns it. An Unexpected Truth takes place following the novel The Madness Below and the novella Boys' Night (Way) Out. Don't miss the rest of the series: Stone and a Hard Place The Forgotten The Threshold The Source Core of Stone Blood and Stone Heart of Stone Flesh and Stone The Infernal Heart The Other Side Path of Stone Necessary Sacrifices Game of Stone Steel and Stone Stone and Claw The Seventh Stone Gathering Storm House of Stone Circle of Stone The Madness Below Boys' Night (Way) Out (novella) and four standalone tales: Turn to Stone Shadows and Stone Devil's Bargain Stone for the Holidays

    In this collection of his stories (each of which has a story behind it), you'll read about two retired spiritual leaders who experience a miracle in their nursing home, a gay relationship that must end between an American man and a Thai student, the astonishing adventures of an early mid-life failure, the thrilling chase one gay man undertakes for another intriguing, confusing, mysterious man, and a mind-blowing time-travel misadventure involving a man and a dog, as well as a few other surprises. This genre bending collection will captivate you. You might even enjoy the stories. Adam Carpenter Welles works in media in a major city in the Southeastern United States.

    Pushing aside the taunting, he focuses on football and art until Seona Fisher crashes into his life. Seona Fisher gets a second chance. Moving to College Station, Texas to be with her brother, Travis, is something she needs to escape the demons of her past. Starting over is never easy. Letting go of old habits is hard, but seeing his green eyes changes her world. A friendship turns into them both wanting one another, and neither of them able to fight their feelings. But when the demons of darkness come back, Seona has to find her way through and back into Jayceon's arms.

    She has an internship with her famous film director uncle, a hit BookTube channel with her actress cousin Sadie and is fully determined to get her world on track as a true adult person, complete with happiness and sparkly love in spades. But nothing is going to plan. She applied to all the wrong colleges, is the only one of her friends still single and is majorly crushing on 23-year-old cinema genius wunderkind Leo Landis, even though he may or may not be breaking up with his girlfriend and may or may not even notice her. But Saoirse's not giving up.She steels herself with hyper-romantic hope and sets out to be her best positive self, which works fabulously until it doesn't and things get complicated. Luckily, life turns in Saoirse's favor as her Hollywood family spins out of control and a sweet and equally quirky street artist, Hector Rojas, spots her magical sparkle and inspires her to see things from a kaleidoscope of angles, even her own beautiful self.Uniquely charming in a Bridget Jones's Diary way with a Cyrano de Bergerac twist, Saoirse Berger takes us on an 18-year-old's hilariously painful journey through love, self-doubt, rejection and the search for belonging as a new adult, ultimately discovering she's already right where she's supposed to be.

    But what happens when a friendship fades, and people go their separate ways? Does it mean they won’t see each other again or does it make the friendship stronger when they reunite? Lexi is a college graduate who thought Frankie was the love of her life; until she met someone else. He swept her off her feet and promised to love her forever. Unfortunately, with every new person you meet, there’s always a hidden agenda. Frankie promised to marry Lexi when they were younger, but as fate would have it, nothing went as planned. She left for school while he stayed back and did his own thing. His new girlfriend, Crystal, has plans of her own for Frankie and will make sure nothing or no one stands in her way of getting him; including his long lost love Lexi. Take a journey with the characters you love to hate and see if Luvin' A Young Beast is everything it’s cracked up to be.