Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    But when she and her friend, Peter, find a valuable coin and try to take it out of the shop, they find themselves in the fifteenth century. But that is only the beginning. The Edward V Coin The discovery of the coin from the short lived reign of Edward V, prompts Peter to want to find out what really happened to the princes in the Tower. The Anne Boleyn Necklace When Peter finds the famous B necklace worn by Anne Boleyn in many portraits, he is eager to use it to go back and see her in the flesh. But Rachel has sworn she'll never time travel again, until she finds a journal which reveals a cousin, stranded in the fifteenth century. She feels she must rescue her, but she doesn't stop to wonder if the cousin wants to be rescued. The Ripper Rings Jack the Ripper took souvenirs in the form of organs from his victims. But from one victim he took three rings and when they turn up in the antique shop, both Peter and Rachel are keen to find out how they got there.

    Older, slightly more wayward and most definitely not wiser, Takis has spent his years taking Spiros under his wing, whilst taking advantage of his younger friends naivety.When the duo, who often scrape by in life to make a living, discover they are heirs to an estate, they mistakenly believe that their ship has come in!As they discover their inheritance is not all as it seems, Takis begins to plot their way out, dragging poor Spiros with him. As one escapade spirals in to another, Takis is easily lured by the money signs while Spiros finds his eyes are being opened to a wider world. Amidst the ouzo and the scheming, this charming and comical tale will leave you eagerly awaiting the next instalment!

    The isolation is all but unbearable until a mysterious tenant moves into the house at the bottom of the hill. James Dunford has come from America but he won’t say why. He spends his days fixing up the old cottage and walking the beach with a stray dog that showed up on his doorstep.As the weeks pass, Tara tries to get to know James, but he resists her at every turn. And it's not until a local villager recognizes him from the news that she realizes his visit might be about more than just a vacation. On the night of a big storm, Tara finally confronts James about why he is there. But how can she expect him to be honest when she, too, is hiding her own dark secret?Set against the backdrop of the Hunger Strikes in Northern Ireland, Sunsets Never Wait is a story about love, loss, and the risks of hanging on to the past. No matter how much the world has let you down, there’s always a possibility for second chances.

    With his conditioning removed, M sends Bond on a deadly mission; to track down Francisco Scaramanga, "The Man with the Golden Gun". But with a KGB agent & the usual quota of beautiful, treacherous girls in his path, will Bond survive? Also features "The Living Daylights" plus background on Ian Fleming & a foreword by his niece, Lucy Fleming.

    They meet in an unlikely way, but soon discover they’re kindred souls. A heroin addict, Jenny is also caught between wanting to escape life and wanting to live. Despite circumstances conspiring against them, Eric takes a leap of faith and decides to try and help Jenny. The two become an endearing pair, connecting through shared struggles and a mutual desire to overcome life’s myriad challenges, and they embark upon an adventure that seems destined to fail.Funny, irreverent, insightful, tragic, and raw, Because of Jenny explores many of life's deepest questions while shedding light on what remains a little known epidemic. An unflinching portrayal of addiction, love, and resilience, it's a book you'll never forget.

    Suspicion that Hendrix is an impostor leads Max Stafford to the Rift Valley, where a violent reaction to his arrival points to a sinister and far-reaching conspiracy far beyond mere greed…Includes a unique bonus - The Circumstances Surrounding the Crime, Bagley's true story about an attempted assassination.

    We compare our life with the snapshots of happy faces posted on social media and feel terrible about our situation—often hopeless. What if we can live our lives, not defined by the trappings of this world, but by discovering contentment in the simple things and in what we are given?In this modern-day Book of Job, Andy sits at the bottom of life’s pecking order. Working as a honey-dipper (a septic truck driver) and living in a single-wide trailer in small-town Montana, Andy longs for love and a better life. His only solace is found on the wild side of the river amongst the ponderosa and bull trout.But when Andy is granted all that he desires, the peace he once found in his simple existence, and the serenity of dipping a dry fly into the Blackfoot River evaporates. A family secret that seems like a cruel betrayal emerges as a great blessing in disguise.The Book of Andy is for everyone who feels that life has beat them down…for anyone who prays for a breakthrough. Fans of Walter Mitty, A River Runs Through It, and Forrest Gump will enjoy this humorous family saga of finding faith, love, and contentment.

    On the run from yet another relationship gone bad, she finds herself in Oklahoma City, where she’s decided to start over yet again. Too bad Stranger has other plans for her. With Danger being the first woman to ever leave an imprint on his heart, he’s prepared to do whatever it takes to bring her back to Dallas— even beg! There’s just one problem: the old Danger is gone, and the new Danger is strong, knows her worth, and is not about to settle for an “almost faithful” dude. Can Stranger win her heart back, or has he lost Danger forever? After confronting Spazz about his infidelity, Free hesitantly gives him another chance. Forgiveness has never come easy for her, but the minute she decides to let her anger go, something beautiful happens: their relationship finally starts to blossom. Things are looking up for Free and Spazz, but things are the complete opposite between Free and her mother. Things are going from bad to worse between the two of them, and Free’s not sure how much more she can take. Add an enemy that brings an unexpected fight and an old rival that’s back to settle an old debt, and Free is just tired. Tired of fighting, tired of conflict— tired of not feeling free. She may have the weight of the world on her shoulders, but Free refuses to be taken down or give up, proving that she’s just as savage as her love, Spazz. An imperfectly perfect match is what they are, but is the worst yet to come? Has Spazz really changed for the better, or will Free be forced to do something she should have done long ago: choose herself over everyone else? Though Danger seems to occupy his mind day and night, bringing her back to Dallas is the least of Stranger’s worries. When Spazz decides to take business matters into his own hands, he doesn’t realize he’s just started a brutal war behind Stranger’s back. Always the big brother, Stranger has to find a way to clean up Spazz’s mess. When Sleep makes a surprise appearance in Dallas, Stranger has a full plate of grown man issues. If nothing else, Stranger is a certified boss, a man that never lets the world see him sweat. He’ll go to hell and back to protect his business and his family, but little does he know, it just might come down to that. Shots are sent Stranger’s way from left to right, forcing him to make a life-changing decision that’s been a long time coming. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and just when he thinks he has his business and personal life back on track, Stranger is dealt a shocking truth as he learns the real reason behind Sleep’s visit to Dallas. Will Stranger be able to pull the ones he loves out of harm’s way, or will someone have to take one for the team? Spazz wouldn’t be Spazz without causing chaos wherever he goes, but he soon realizes he’s met his match in Free. His plan was to make her want him, but when he realizes he needs her, he decides to do something completely different for a change: learn how to be a gentleman to Free. Finally on the right track, Spazz likes the new direction Free is taking his life in. He’s even making smarter business decisions and stepping up to help lighten the load for Stranger— at least he thinks he is— but it might be too late. Revenge is the one thing Spazz can’t let go of, and when he sets out to make his foes pay for disloyalty and disrespect, he digs himself and Stranger even deeper into a savage war that only has room for a single winner. Will Spazz’s out of control behavior cost them the war in the end? Despite his name, Sleep is anything but quiet and peaceful, and even with Stranger’s retaliation, Sleep finally succeeds at catching up with his biggest money maker: Danger.

    The only reason she agreed to take it was because the position hinged on her father winning a presidential election. She figured she could agree to take the job, he'd lose the election, and she'd be off the hook. James Cartwright won the election. He was a widower, and had no interest in living in the White House residence by himself. Not only did he lobby to have his daughter appointed as Vice President, on the grounds of bringing her in to help reform education, he also talked her into giving up the Vice Presidential home to live in the White House with him. Things were going along well. They're now six years into their jobs, making strides in their agendas, when life as they know it comes to a screeching halt. Molly is in the middle of making a speech when Secret Service agents surround her and carry her off the stage. Within the next few hours, she is given devastating news, sworn in as the next President, charged with trying to discover who the traitor is, needs to figure out which nation is responsible for this mess, and is put into the precarious position of fending off a war, all while trying to mourn a parent. Molly's challenges do not stop there. She's contending with two sets of senior staff; her own and her father's. Certain people doubt her ability to maintain focus when her personal life has just been through the spin cycle. A staff member disappears when the Secret Service is spread too thin. Everyone thinks there may be pertinent information on the President's phone, and Molly has a plan on trying to hack into it, if they could just get the thing to her. Her personal aide is afraid and refuses to even step foot into the residence for fear of Lincoln's ghost. The man who targeted her father reveals himself enough to torture Molly with images, threats, and a FedEx shipment. A little digging around reveals a surprising relationship, and a long-harbored dream Daddy was keeping secret. And, in her bid to get to the truth of all that is afoot, the rookie President turns suspicion onto herself, hoping to draw the enemy forward.

    Her only escape is the perfect couple she watches through the train window every day, happy and in love. Or so it appears. When Rachel learns that the woman she's been secretly watching has suddenly disappeared, she finds herself as a witness and even a suspect in a thrilling mystery in which she will face bigger revelations than she could ever have anticipated.Adapted from Paula Hawkins' novel - an international phenomenon selling over twenty million copies worldwide - this gripping new play will keep you guessing until the final moment.

    Seeing an elderly woman crushed to death under a baby grand piano is not the best start to anyone’s day, and Max Dempsey’s is about to get a whole lot worse.When sacked bank manager turned bank robber Max Dempsey (aka Simon Golightly) finds himself deep in debt to dodgy undertaker Danny Bishop, he’s prepared to do almost anything to pay it off and keep all of his fingers.But he’s likely to lose a lot more than his fingers when he agrees to do a “little job” for Danny and unintentionally crosses psychopathic Greek gangster, Nikos Spiropoulos.Meanwhile, Bernard Pemberton and his granddaughter Tess are on a road trip to scatter their beloved Dottie’s ashes on a Scottish hilltop, but is it really her ashes in the cremation urn or something else altogether?Cremains is a crime caper that twists and turns its way towards a conclusion that even Max himself couldn’t have predicted.

    But for a one small boy in the leafy northern suburbs of Johannesburg ... his beloved housekeeper is serving fish fingers for lunch.This is the tale of Hamish Charles Sutherland Fraser – chorister, horse rider, schoolboy actor and, in his dreams, 1st XV rugby star and young ladies’ delight. A boy who climbs trees in the spring and who loves a girl named Reggie.An odd child growing up in a conflicted, scary, beautiful society.A young South African who hasn’t learnt the rules.

    For Claire Anderson, this crosses the line. To make matters worse, they’re on the lam and can’t be returned to sender until In Between, the afterlife way station, can arrange transportation to pick them up. In the meantime, Claire tries to contain this motley crew, hoping to stave off an international incident. How do they manage to walk among us? Will Claire succeed in repatriating them? And at what cost? The Afterlife Coach is a humorous tale of second chances, self-awareness and, for those among us who make bad choices, demonstrates just how hard it is to die happily ever after.

    And for the last of the line of Eld there may be no way out. Meanwhile, on Mid-World, Alain and Cuthbert desperately struggle to protect Roland's unconscious form, and themselves, against a pack of ravening wolves.