Jarvis may be an all-round irritant, but he's harmless & deep down he's got a heart of gold. As his oldest (& only) friend reflects on his life with Jarvis Ham, he wonders what it would have been like if they had never met.

    Mostly from the USA and UK, they bring into sharp focus the extent of the abuse of our critical life-saving services.With cartoons to depict calls and hyperlinks to take the reader to the original audio (some of them released in the public domain by the police and ambulance services in order to show the world how badly a minority of individuals will misuse valuable resources), this book promises to amuse and shock every right-minded person who understands what these services are here for.The author and illustrator are professional front line paramedics, so they know a thing or two about the subject; and from calls to the police for directions to 999 rants about the lack of buses, they have experienced their fair share of such stupidity.You won't believe some of the calls that have been made in the name of personal crisis. You simply won't believe what some people think is an emergency!

    It's belly-laughing funny but it's also a hymn to the grand and complex game delivered with a narrative pace and ability I'm afraid most Test players don't have. For anyone who ever dreamed of excelling at a sport but never quite made it but still gave it your life, this is the story. A great read!' Tom Keneally'The Grade Cricketer has taken us so far inside a district club dressing room that you feel like a locker. Ligaments could not be closer to the bone than some of his observations.' Kerry O'Keeffe 'The Grade Cricketer is strange and, I suspect, brilliant'. Wisden

    All he wants is to get his leg-over occasionally with his wife, Helen, and to lose enough weight to be able to see his genitals without having to hold his stomach out of the way. So when Carol (the randy work colleague and fellow food lover) who almost seduced him the night before, turns up at his home and introduces herself to his wife, he begins to wonder whether life is playing a cruel practical joke on him. As Carol seems determined to make his life a misery for turning her down, and he's about to discover something's going horribly wrong in the trouser department too, he could very well be right. If that weren’t enough to have him reaching for the comfort food, he also has to contend with an oversexed son who's using the soapy bathroom sponge for something other than cleaning purposes. Plus a daughter who having just discovered boys has started dating a six foot ginger gorilla with huge bushy sideburns. Not forgetting his neighbour’s cat, a vengeful pigeon, a gang of feral children and a vigilante sausage dog. Lust, Lies and Lemon Drizzle: Eric Baxter's continuing struggle with life, love, and his ever expanding waistline. Sequel to the UK Amazon bestseller: Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes

    You can’t fathom the weirdness– unless you’re one of the ER aliens. If you are, buy a dozen copies to give away: to your family, your neighbors, and the PTA. They’ll learn things you never had the heart to tell them, but they should know, like how it's like to work in the ER, the deviousness of shampoo bottles and the dangers of frying bacon naked.

    Take a magical trip down Storybook Lane with this collection of the best fairy tale stories ever told in Riverdale! From glass slippers to giant beanstalks and yellow brick roads to tales from under the seas, this classic collection will have you entertained for hours!

    It now appears in 250 newspapers, including the Los Angeles Times, San Francisco Examiner, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, Detroit Free Press, Philadelphia Inquirer, and Seattle Times. Readers can't get enough of the goofy trio that populate this hilarious strip: Rob Wilco, the single, mild-mannered advertising executive, and his two rambunctious pets, Bucky, the sharp-fanged, self-absorbed cat, and Satchel, the easygoing mixed-breed dog who ends up on the receiving end of Bucky's mischief. The combination creates Get Fuzzy's astutely witty take on relationships between the species.Now, in a size and format that's perfect for die-hard fans and those looking for the perfect gift, I Would Have Bought You a Cat, But . . . will become the must-have little treasure for everyone who craves a bit more of the trademark Get Fuzzy foolishness, or just enjoys a good chuckle.

    Bonus features include lost strips, sketches, and a behind-the-scenes interview by "Wondermark"'s David Malki. Also includes an introduction by Diablo Cody.

    1965.  War's found himself deep in the glamorous yet lethal world of international espionage. Unhappy with both the treachery and restrictive dress-code, when a name from the past reappears in his life War realises he must risk everything to keep the world safe once again. This short story follows on from the How To Be Dead series and continues the tale of everybody's favourite grumpy Horseman of the Apocalypse...  What Amazon readers are saying about the How To Be Dead Comedy Fantasy Series: ★★★★★ “Dave Turner is a funny man and ‘How To Be Dead’ is a brilliant read.”★★★★★ “If Neil Gaiman and Simon Pegg sat down to write a story together they might come up with something like this.”★★★★★ “Hilarious and unexpectedly moving.”★★★★★ "Laughs and excitement combined!"★★★★★ “Laugh out loud funny… It’s been a while since an author has made me laugh more than Pratchett does.”★★★★★ "If you like Tom Holt, Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, Dave Turner's books will fit perfectly into your collection."

    . .Holly, Naomi and Kate are determined to win the battle of the bulge. So it's down to the local slimming club, where carbs are strictly off the menu and there's no escaping the scales. But calorie-counting isn't the only thing on their minds.Newly engaged Holly should be over the moon. So why does she blush every time her sexy boss walks into the room? Curvaceous Naomi finds herself the object of a very unusual fetish and a shocking secret is revealed when an unexpected visitor arrives on Kate's doorstep. Yet with a little group support (and a particularly brutal weight loss boot camp) the women manage to stick to their regime, in time for the glamorous Slimmer of the Year Awards. But with tempting buffet tables, highly competitive contestants and even the odd fat fetishist lurking, it's anyone's guess as to what will happen . . .

    And, for better or worse, I jotted them down. It was only later, when perhaps I received an angry letter from someone, that it struck me: Hey! Someone's been reading my diary! -- Gary Larson, from the preface to The Complete Far Side Originally published in hardcover in 2003, The Complete Far Side was a New York Times bestseller. Now it's back as a paperback set with a newly designed slipcase that will delight Far Side fans. Revered by its fans as the funniest, most original, most What the ... ?&nspiring cartoon ever, The Far Side debuted in January 1980 and enjoyed an illustrious 14 years on the world's comics pages until Gary Larson's retirement in 1994. The Complete Far Side celebrates Larson's twisted, irreverent genius in this ultimate Far Side book. A masterpiece of comic brilliance, The Complete Far Side contains every Far Side cartoon ever syndicated--over 4,000 if you must know--presented in (more or less) chronological order by year of publication, with more than 1,100 that had never before appeared in a book. Also included are additional Far Side cartoons Larson created after his retirement: 13 that appeared in the last Far Side book, Last Chapter and Worse, and six cartoons that periodically ran as a special feature in the New York Times Science Times section as The Far Side of Science. Creator Gary Larson offers a rare glimpse into the mind of The Far Side in quirky and thoughtful introductions to each of the 14 chapters. Complaint letters, fan letters, and queries from puzzled readers appear alongside some of the more provocative or elusive panels. Actor, author, and comedian Steve Martin offers his sagacious thoughts in a foreword, and Larson's former editor describes what it was like to be the guy who could explain every Far Side cartoon. During its 14-year run, The Far Side was syndicated internationally to over 1,900 daily newspapers. It spawned 23 books and has been translated into 17 different languages. Copyright 2014 by FarWorks, Inc. All Rights Reserved. The Far Side and Tales from The Far Side are registered trademarks of FarWorks, Inc.

    Exhausted Salarymen are pushed beyond the brink. Blood, sweat and screams of 'FUCK YOU!' pour out of the characters within The Pits of Hell, and yet a sense of humour always shines through. Bold, absurd and all too real, Ebisu Yoshikazu's work feels distinctly underground, almost punk. The Pits of Hell collects eight classic stories by Ebisu Yoshikazu, originally published between 1969 and 1981. The collection features a foreword by Minami Shinbo and an essay by Ryan Holmberg placing Ebisu Yoshikazu and his work into context.

    Dilbert has managed to keep up with technology like iPads and Twitter over the years, as well as advanced systems like the Disaster Preparedness Plan that has its followers eating the crumbs from their keyboards. It doesn’t get any more sophisticated than that.   It’s an office code violation to be this good after so many years, but Dilbert keeps doing what he does best: passive-aggressively out-witting his superiors and exercising conflict avoidance. And he is so good. No wonder office drones and workforce automatons alike can’t resist the cold embrace of Dilbert’s workplace.

     And, now that he’s running a fancy West End nightclub, Tony has new-found celebrity status – with a never-ending string of gorgeous women on his arm, he’s become the darling of the tabloids. However, despite his success, he still feels he lacks the respect he deserves and the status he desires. The little boy who lived on the streets is never far away. Desperate for recognition, he’s driven to achieve more and more. Most of all, he craves the acceptance of Ralph Gold and to become a bigger part of his extensive web of organised crime. Fearlessly facing up to enemies, winning battles and becoming the undisputed bosses of the London underworld can be a nasty business, but it’s the only business Tony and Jake know. And they’ll stop at nothing to succeed.

    56 pages of chapter summaries, quotes, character analysis, themes, and more – everything you need to sharpen your knowledge of The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove. This detailed literature summary also contains Topics for Discussion and a Free Quiz on The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore.